I don't mind kids being at my wedding, and there will be lots. But there is one person on my fiance's side that has a demon child. He spits on people, he bits scratches, and yells for no reason. She has no control over him, mostly because she doesn't disipline him at all. If she goes I want her to leave little Damian at home. How do I tell her to leave her kid at home when there will be tons of kids who are invited.
2007-09-14 10:15:36 · 32 answers · asked by Utena 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Little Damian! LoL! You crack me up.
My only suggestion is to offer to pay for a babysitter yourself. That way you are telling her in an unofensive way. I'm sure that the mother is well aware of the child's behavior and could use a break from her spawn so she can have a good time.
Good luck
2007-09-14 10:27:55 · answer #1 · answered by Blunt 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I don't agree that you have to put up with little Damian in order to have decent children at your wedding. Nor do you have to penalize all children and good parents just because of little Damian. He sounds like he might have a disorder of some sort.
The best way, though it is very embarrassing and uncomfortable, is to have a heart to heart with Damian's mother. Tell her you would like her and Damian to be wedding guests, but he must be glued to her side every moment of the entire wedding. She must keep the iron arm of ruthless discipline on him every second. This is really the only way.
If you simply cannot bring yourself to say it, then the friendship is over when you don't invite her to the wedding. Or your reception will be famous for that demon child who overturned tables and spit at everyone.
2007-09-14 13:42:14 · answer #2 · answered by danashelchan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think there is a nice way, and chances are that you'll end up being the bad guy no matter how you handle this. So, are you willing to risk being the bad guy? How many people from your fiance's group will be offended on her behalf? Do you have the support of your fiance? All of these things are worth considering. Then you either, don't invite her and if she asks tell her that you've seen her son in public and he gets out of control, or you specifically request that she find a baby sitter because her son is out of control in public situations. If you aren't willing to be seen as the bad guy, just suck it up and cross your fingers! Good Luck.
2007-09-14 10:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It might be better handled if your fiance did the talking here but this woman must be told. You need to tell her the truth because any lie is going to be exposed. She will see other children there so you need to just come out with the truth. Ask her to please find a baby sitter for her child and not bring him to the wedding because he is disruptive and she does not seem to be able to control him. She needs to see her child as others see him so that she can correct the behavior or get the child some professional help if she is unable to get him to act in a civilized manner. It could be a blessing in disquise that makes a change in the direction this child's life is headed. Be kind but firm and let her know the child is not welcome and the reasons why that is so..the issue is not the other kids that will be attending it is her child's disgusting and disruptive behavior and his mother's inability to control him .
2007-09-14 10:33:12 · answer #4 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Get someone on your fiance's side to talk to her about getting Damian babysat. Nobody wants a devil like that at their wedding. Boy these people who let their kids run riot annoy the crap out of me. Kids need discipline. I am all for kids at weddings, they are a part of the family and should be included, but there are parents like this who ruin it for those of us who can control our kids. My kids went to a very upper class wedding in April and they were so well behaved!
This woman would probably enjoy herself more if she left Damian at home anyways. Suggest she gets a sitter maybe offer to pay for it.....it is a sticky situation when she sees other kids there she is going to spit chips, but maybe this would be a good oppurtunity for her to learn a lesson. He kid is not going to ever be liked if she doesnt step in and teach him how to behave.
I understand where you are coming from, but you ARE going to piss her off no matter what you do. She will probably spit the dummy and not come but then at least you avoid the spitting Damian being at your wedding.
2007-09-14 10:28:01 · answer #5 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Have someone tactful (and maybe an older woman who is a mother i.e. your grandmother or aunt) be aware of Damian's situation and asked to be the one designated to say something (politely!) to his mother if he acts out. Maybe with the other kids and the dancing he will be occupied enough to behave. Maybe have some activies planned to distract him if necessary. If he get out of control your husband needs to be the one that asks him to leave. Good luck, but you have to let him come and give him a chance.
2007-09-14 13:59:49 · answer #6 · answered by az 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you can exclude just one kid. Trust me, I understand you not wanting Satan's Little Helper at your wedding, but to exclude only that kid is probably going to offend the parent's and make you look bad. We did not invite any children to our wedding because, like you, I did not want to deal with crying, whining, temper tantrums, etc. during my ceremony and reception. Plus, I thought it might be nice for the parent's of youngsters to have the night off. Anyway, you have a tough decision to make, and I wish you luck!
2007-09-14 13:51:14 · answer #7 · answered by theMrs. 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think there are only two ways you can solve this problem. 1) do not invite her, therefore her child will not attend or 2) invite her and the child, you cannot have a lot of other kids there and not let her bring hers, it's rude. It is her responsibilty to make sure her child behaves, if he cannot then simply don't invite her. If she is close to your fiance then she needs to be invited it would ultimately be her choice to bring him.
Actually, one more way to make sure he is not invited, don't have any kids there at all.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
2007-09-14 10:55:15 · answer #8 · answered by UhOH! 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You know what, I feel like adults should be able to talk and tell each other how they feel from time to time. Just tell 666 kids mom straight up "hey I would love for you to attend the wedding, but your son can't for the obvious reasons and if you feel that if your son can't come then you're not coming then so be it" and if she can't respect that then she just won't be coming. Sometimes people don't need nice all the time sometimes people need their feelings kind of hurt by just speaking how you feel, and don't feel bad about it it's your day and if her son ***** it up you're going to wish you would have told her. Better her mad or hurt on a regular day then you on your wedding day.
2007-09-14 10:40:18 · answer #9 · answered by Great one 3 · 5⤊ 0⤋
well like some of these people have said is that you can ask that no one bring there kids. but a nicer way to put it is to put a little note in hers saying no children please so you KNOW if she comes no Damian. but then again if you feel comfortible saying something to her then do, but just remember to be gentle when you say it cause it will sting a little. but a kid wrangler is a good idea, an adult kid wrangler. and make sure that it is noted misbehaving children and adult parents will be asked to leave if they are a problem.
2007-09-14 10:40:58 · answer #10 · answered by butterflygirl249 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋