So there's a guy that I've been hanging out with for about a month and a half...long story short...he doesn't want anything serious, we've had sex but not lately, he's been distant because he doesn't want me to "get the wrong idea" aka doesn't want to lead me on....i like him....he likes hanging out with me and just being with me sexually or not....am i wasting my time?? I mean I really like this guy and I understand he's been in a serious relationship for the past 4 years of his life and just wants to enjoy being single for a while....and it doesn't help that I want him soooo bad! What should I do?!
2007-09-14 08:40:47 · 29 answers · asked by malassa07 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well that's a complicated situation. First off, u can't tell people how to feel, so you don't want to force urself on him because while you might get a physical response like sex, you won't get an emotional one like you hope for. You say he's just getting over a relationship of 4 years...that's why he's being distant and not leading you on. Unfortunately he's in that stage of becoming reaquainted with the single life and might be enjoying it. So for the time being, winning his heart isn't a very optomistic outcome. However, if you like this guy enough and feel like waiting for him to want a serious relationship again, then just stay very close friends with him. Call to check on him every once in a while. Or try to hang out with him casually every so often. If all goes well, he will respond to your kindness some day. I know what it feels like to want someone so bad, but like they say "good things come to those who are patient". oh and no...ur not wasting ur time...i don't think so.
2007-09-14 09:11:43 · answer #1 · answered by FutureFederer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop having sex with him. It's hard for a man to see you as a sex object and a lady worth pursuing at the same time. I'm not saying stopping the sex will make him want you, but I am saying that having the casual sex does hurt your chances for a relationship. This guy has made his intentions clear to you--why aren't you listening? By God's will you're supposed to save sex until marriage. Part of the reason why is because it will let you know whether the guy is into you or your body. God bless.
2007-09-14 15:47:38 · answer #2 · answered by wizball 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
He's told you how he feels. There is nothing you can do to win his heart. It has to be 'natural' in order to work. If you are being yourself around him then you would of already won his heart. He's very smart in wanting to be single because falling in love on a rebound never works. You should respect him and his wishes and don't get serious.
Having fun, without wanting anything more is the best way to win him over. Then let the chips fall where they may.
Good Luck
2007-09-14 15:58:10 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay so here is my advise to you. You are showing too much interest. meet a guy and go out on a date but make sure this guy is there to witness this or finds out about it. this works 2 ways. if he does care it is going to put jealousy in him and he will come around real fast. if he does not care he will be happy for you and than you will know for sure if you are wasting your time. I'm telling you this works. he knows right now you aren't going anywhere so why commit when he does not have to. have you ever heard the saying why buy the cow when th milk is free? I've done this before and they just cant stand to see it happen. trust me.
2007-09-14 15:48:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jennifer H 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to keep at status quo "friends" until he is ready. Relationships shouldn't be rushed despite how badly you feel on your end. It could be a disaster if your force anything on his part. You did say you had sex with him, so are definitely pass that intimacy part. Give him time, and most importantly look to something else to occupy your time so he will come after you when he realizes you have other interests. Relationships are like that, lol.
2007-09-14 15:47:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would start by stop letting him use you...you know he doesn't want a relationship, yet you have sex with him. If and when he decides he wants to get serious, he might not pick someone who is easy to get into bed! Show him that you can be fun above the sheets and peak his interest, so that he wants to get to know you better!
2007-09-14 15:45:40 · answer #6 · answered by lee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit having sex with him. Make him want you. If that doesn't work, find someone else. It doesn't matter how you feel so much, you have to make him value, desire and have to have you. Men think about sex all the time and the mystery is a big part of it.
2007-09-14 15:45:56 · answer #7 · answered by Texas Cowboy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can enjoy him without the realtionship aspect keep on keepin' on but if you are longing for a relationship this is just a quick path to heart break. Move on.
2007-09-14 15:44:53 · answer #8 · answered by blindedbyred 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know you may not take my advice but i'd say leave him alone. he has already made it clear that he does not want to be in a relationship, continuing to be involved with him, will only result in a broken heart. you think it hurts now that you can not have him, it will hurt a lot more later, when your feelings are stronger.
2007-09-14 16:00:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if he's using you like a toy...you are DEFINITELY wasting your time. if he only wants you for sex...that obviously means he doesn't want to be with you. why would you want to be with someone who doesn't love you back? find someone that loves you for your personality not for your body. stand up for yourself and act as if you're just a play toy because you're worth more than that.
2007-09-14 15:47:17 · answer #10 · answered by Save A Tree [Remove a Bush] 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋