My daughter's dad see her once a week and doesn't pay child support and does not buy her anything. My parents and grand-parents help me with her.Also hes seeing another women with a 2 week old baby that he says inn't his but I talkes care of her like she is. If he can't take care of 1 what makes her think he can raise her child too.Should I let him come and bring her and the baby too or should I just tell him know cuz he don't take care of her? Any advice on deadbeat dads?
2007-09-14 07:33:54 · 32 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First of all I wonder if you are jealous of the other woman and baby in his life? Are you jealous of the relationship he has with her and her child? Are you resentful of the fact that he does not have the same relationship with your child? Is that the real reason you don't want to invite him to the party?
Why does he see her once a week if he does not do anything for her? If you agree to allow him to see her once a week then I dont see why you wouldnt agree to allow him to come to the party. I dont think you need to invite the new girlfriend and her baby, but, he is the childs father.
Perhaps there is more to the story and the real reason you dont want to invite him is because of his new relationship, in which case I think that's selfish and you shouldnt punish your child because of your own issues.
Perhaps he really is a deadbeat, in which case I personally wouldnt even think he was worthy of seeing her on a weekly basis, nor should he be invited to the party.
2007-09-14 07:41:49 · answer #1 · answered by obsolete_allurement 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It doesn't matter whether he sees her once a week or not at all, and it doesn't matter whether or not he pays support, he is the babies father, and you had to have known he was a dead beat dad before you laid down with him. I would let him come to the party, you are angry, and still have feelings for him, but if you keep him away from her, you will regret it later, because when she gets older, and she learns that you kept him away, she will run off and want to be with him, and that is going to hurt you more than anything in the world. Also if he is a deadbeat dad, never talk bad about her father in front of her, if you bad mouth him, you make yourself look bad as well, because people are going to say you laid down with him so you are no better than him. I don't mean to sound harsh, but think of your daughter and not yourself. Let him bring the girl and the baby, you be the bigger person, he is expecting for you to act like this, but you be better :) God bless and take care
2007-09-14 08:46:14 · answer #2 · answered by pookster4262 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like this is a very uncomfortable situation for you. Really it is about your daughter though, yes, I believe your daughter should see her dad on her birthday, but instead of having the father and his new girlfriend over at your house why don't you suggest that they have their own birthday party for her, and if he really wants to celebrate with your daughter he will make it happen. This way there is no chance of something being said in front of your daughter that she shouldn't hear. I can speak about this from experience. My son's dad and I have not been together for 10 years now, the first 4 years we spent arguing and not getting along at all, now we get along fine, but it wasn't before alot of fighting, I NEVER talked bad about my son's father infront of him no matter how mad at his dad I might be, because you are not hurting the other person you are hurting your child. Children know when someone loves them and when someone doesn't and if dad is a deadbeat dad (it goes both ways, there are deadbeat moms too) then eventually it will come to light and you won't have to say a thing, but let your kid find that out for themselves, other wise they will end up resenting you. I hope this helped.
2007-09-14 07:49:22 · answer #3 · answered by g2besure 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like the two of you need to have a mature talk about setting some guidelines, because if he wants to be part of his daughter' s life, then he should be paying child support. If he doesn't want to pay child support or be involved in his daughter's life more than a once a week visit, then he needs to sign away his parental rights and move on.
You could be the bigger person and invite them to the party; however, if you really think it's going to ruin your daughter's birthday, then politely tell him you would prefer he come alone or not at all. If he sees her once a week, he can do something special with her then...
2007-09-14 16:26:28 · answer #4 · answered by Romans 8:28 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has the right to be there but if he's not really being a father then he shouldn't. I would suggest to him that he can start seeing your daughter when he begins to act like a father to her. That includes buying her things as well as seeing her more than once a week and focusing on the child he has, not another that may not even be his own. If that child isn't his, let its father and mother take care of it while he handles his own busniess. And if he doesn't comply, forget him, you don't want your daughter raised around a man like that anyhow.
2007-09-14 07:41:19 · answer #5 · answered by Sabure 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of the relationship between the two of you, he is her father, and the two of you are ALWAYS going to be in each others lives whether you realize it or not. It is wrong not to invite him. He's not coming for you, he wants to be there for his daughter. It sucks, I know. Don't keep her from her father on her B-Day. If he's a deadbeat, he's a deadbeat. Nothing will change that. Be thankful that you have people in your life to help you raise your child, since her father obviously isn't.
Feel me?
P.S.
Go to court and have his paycheck garnished. Don't get too mad about it, let the court handle it.
Stay strong. His karma is going to be the end of him.
2007-09-14 07:52:32 · answer #6 · answered by Califiyah 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would invite him if for nothing else to tell your daughter that you did everything you could to make that a special day for her. Besides this is something for her and when she has her first daughter she would like to be able to show her those pics of her first bday and be able to say that is me and my dad. Cause sad to say but if he not a greatly involved father now the older she gets the less involved he will be so this may be the only bday she has him there. Beside use this party as a show for what you have done for her and that he hasn't.
2007-09-14 12:47:29 · answer #7 · answered by monkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be a deadbeat but hes still her Dad. You cant keep him from seeing her unless he behaves badly around her. The other woman you can for SURE ask not be there. But, invite your daughters dad. He sees her once a week, he makes SOME effort even if it isnt financial. Unless he is abusive or a danger to her, you need to try to keep him in her life.
2007-09-14 08:13:52 · answer #8 · answered by undone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to do everything you possibly can to foster your daughter's relationship with her father. Its not about your feelings or what he pays, but the fact that when she is older she needs to know him. A lot of divorced persons do not understand this and fight between themselves and in later years the children suffer the most. Just because you made huge mistake doesnt mean she shouldnt have a father's love. I hope you can use this occasion to have everyone come together and at least go through the motions of being nice for the sake of your baby. Happy Birthday to her
2007-09-14 07:41:10 · answer #9 · answered by barthebear 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
coming from a father who is raising 2 kids on my own ,I would say NO don't let him come , being a father is something that you have to work at ,,no something that's just happens because you had a good **** , I'm sorry to swear but I have had to fight hard for my kids from a physically abusive mother and even that was hard ,,I cant understand why he wouldn't stand up and be counted and be a good father , How dare he even consider bringing another woman there when you are there must have been a **** partner as well, yet here I am and cant even find a partner because I have kids ,sad but true
2007-09-14 07:45:57 · answer #10 · answered by ANDY D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋