After taking care of my Step Son for over 12yrs...He's 14 now - His BM fought us in court for Full Custody & lost. We have always willing taken care of his needs with no help. She now wants to give him money (about $50) everytime he goes to see her. I told my SS that I was not comfortable with him taking large amounts of money to school every day. So what ever she gives him - I put it in an envolope and he signs off on a sheet a paper with a running tally of the remaining balance. I'm doing this because I don't want her to every say or think that we in any way is spending the money she gives him. I'm sure she's gonna ask him how or who spent his money. Trust me the small amount she gives him will doesnt even put a dent in his expenses. But I want him to feel good about what she's trying to do- but I want him to be able to say with confidence that he has spent his own money.
Am I being Petty...???
2007-09-14 07:05:37 · 15 answers · asked by Sheba 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
No, that's actually a very good idea. It gives him some rudimentary banking experience AND protects you from Birth Mom accusations.
Of course, if she can pay him $50 a pop she can pay child support.
2007-09-14 07:12:43 · answer #1 · answered by Bill 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe that you are being petty at all. I don't know how often his sees her but I would suggest the following for the money. I would have him save 1/3 of it for college, first car, etc., give 1/3 of it to a charity of his choice, and let him spend the remaining 1/3 on whatever he chooses. This will help him in learning the value of a dollar. I also agree that he shouldn't take large amounts of money to school, and I think that keeping a running total of his money is a great idea. Keep up the good work! Also BIG kudos to you and your husband for stepping up and taking care of him, when so many fathers are just the opposite.:)
2007-09-14 14:13:56 · answer #2 · answered by babygirl66733 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Two things: you are teaching your son money handling and financial responsibility AND you are covering your butt.
At 14, your son should be getting some real life lessons and I believe that you are doing a great thing. I do like one of the other responses about opening a savings account. It's only two more years till he's 16 and four til he's 18. Even if you do have a college fund for him, some sort of long-term goal should be in the equation. Of course, saving is no fun if you don't get to spend once in awhile, so short-term goals like sports or other activities are always good.
Writing down what he receives and when it is spent (maybe even for what) is a great way to cover your bases, so to speak. Having a formal savings account and a bank statement is a strong document that can protect you should the BM get suspicious. Make it clear that this is only for your son and his spending decisions.
Good luck!
2007-09-14 14:19:43 · answer #3 · answered by burklinanna 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
⥠You aren't being petty at all. Its safe safe for a 14 year old to be carrying around anything over $10 or $20.... the envelope is a good idea.... but maybe you should go with him to open a bank account. Many banks have a "minor" checking account option, that teaches them about the responsibility of money. Good Luck!
2007-09-14 14:15:52 · answer #4 · answered by NCIS ♥ Addict 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 14 he is too young to carry around large sums of cash but too old for you to control every aspect of it. He should open a bank account and put a portion of mom's money in there each time she gives him any. He should be allowed to keep some for pocket money but the rest should be saved. A good time to help him set goals for what to save for, like a leather coat, an iPod, etc.
2007-09-14 14:15:00 · answer #5 · answered by momma bear 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're being petty, but instead of doing the whole envelope thing, I would have him open a savings account with it. This will give him some early exposure to the banking system he will be using when he gets older. Just a thought.
2007-09-14 14:10:48 · answer #6 · answered by Steve F 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you are doing the right thing to me. plus, doing it that way you have a record of what shes been giving him if for any reason you ever need that. i dont see at all how you are being petty, i def. dont think he should go to school with large amounts of money. besides not being safe, its not necessary! good for you
2007-09-14 14:14:40 · answer #7 · answered by kiss my evie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Not only are you preventing a potentially hostile situation between the birth mom and your family, but you are also teaching your step-son how to budget and "balance" his money. This will be a great life skill for him to learn!
2007-09-14 14:13:11 · answer #8 · answered by western b 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you are doing the right thing. That is definitely too much money for him to bring to school, and you are helping him learn about responsible financing and business (by keeping track of his money). Sounds like responsible parenting to me.
2007-09-14 14:14:29 · answer #9 · answered by NCAATrackAthlete 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, not at all, I think it is a good idea, especially keeping records, but one thing you may want to look into is a savings account in his name, and come up with a rule that he has to put half of what he gets into it. and when he wants something special show him what he has in savings and either take him to get it or show him how much more he will have to save.
2007-09-14 14:12:44 · answer #10 · answered by dustystar 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋