How do you deal with a two faced co-worker?

Question

I work with a woman who is always making snide remarks about people, talking about them behind their backs and degrating their work. I am tired of listening to her. There is no conversation unless she is talking about someone. Do I confront her about this or do I just ignore it. Should I tell the other people she does this? She acts like she is their friend when they are at work, and is terrible when they are not. Help!!! Her mouth makes for a horrible working enviornment!!!

Answer 1

Some people thrive in chaois and it appears she is trying to keep everyone stirred up all the time. Probably your other co-workers notice it too except when they are around her you might be the one being talked about. Personally I never listened to the co-worker I had that did this but if I did hear through the grape vine that I was the talked about I would go up to her and ask if she needed clarification on anything. it pretty much stopped after a few times.

Answer 2

I actually had a coworker just like this for a year. It was hard dealing with all the crap that they were pulling and getting by with. it seemed like they had everyone eating out of their hand at the same time that they were making my life miserable. no one even realized how horrible the person was, much less that they didn't do much work and took credit for other peoples work. I didnt' want to go to the boss, because we worked in an office where we work together a lot and i didnt want to cause hard feelings in the office. I figured that it was just something i would have to accept and that things could be a lot worse. Eventually the person quit and now the office is a great place to work. my advice would be to just hold on and bite the bullet. Try and do your best at work and just keep on doing what you are doing. sooner or later others will see what she is doing and she will get tired of it and leave or get fired. it's only a matter of time. people like that can't stay around forever, they make to many enemies. I wish you luck and hope this helps.

Answer 3

I can relate to your situation for sure. Doesn't it make you wonder what she says about you behind your back? Do not repeat to the others what this woman has said, because then, you're acting just like her. Ignore her when she starts in gossiping, or get up & walk away. She'll get the message for sure. Every workplace has one like her. I had one who was so unhappy with her life that she was an expert at finding fault with others. She was a bitter woman & had no friends. She couldn't understand why no one liked her.

Answer 4

I found the best thing to do with the person like her isn't the easiest. Ask to speak to her alone. When you both get to speak tell her you can no longer hear her speak of the rottenness towards the others. I've added that she's not to say a word about me.
I also said the work day is miserable to listen to the cruelness and it's no longer going to be tolerated. They back down quickly. Anyother employee she may tell you said this.....it's likely they'll thank you!

Answer 5

I think most people are aware of it, if she does it so contantly. It seems like every office has one of these beastly types- and it seems they are often women (why-why-why?)
I doubt confronting her would help, it's likely so ingrained in her personality, that she couldn't change if she wanted to. The best bet is to distance yourself from her as much as possible, and if she insists that you listen to a certain story, a simple "Rita, I just don't have time for this." If you do this often enough she may happily leave you out of the loop.

Answer 6

I would confront her when she's telling me about someone. I waould say something like, "I'm sorry but I'm not interested in your gossiping and bad mouthing. Please tell the supervisor if you think something is being done that shouldn't be." Then I would walk away and I would also tell the supervisor about the whole deal.

Answer 7

Next time she says something bad about a co worker behind their backs, tell her sarcastically "well you were all buddy buddy with her the other day now what's happened?" don't say it like your trying to mean, but get ur point across to her.

Answer 8

Be sure that she talks about you to other co-workers behind your back. I suggest that you ignore her totally and stay as far as possible from this source of negativity.

Answer 9

I would just let her know that if it doesn't involve work you don't want to hear it. Or I would just notify my supervisor that her fat mouth is making a horrible working environment.

Answer 10

i wouldn`t tell anyone else,they will find out just like you did,and if you did tell them they might think your a trouble causer.i find that when someone calls someone else just look into their eyes,say nothing,and eventually they`ll stop,move onto to someone else,and gossip to them.theres an old saying,whilst their talking about others,their leaving you alone.