Me and my boyfriend have been together for 1.5 years. I know we're past the point of the puppy love stage, but things are so boring lately. he used to tell me i was beautiful everyday, but now he never says it. he calls me every night to talk to me, and he does spend time with me. its just so boring lately. we're both busy & poor with college, but we eat, talk on the phone together, and watch tv. Lately, that's what we've been doing. Like the second I want to hang out and he's busy he says I'm too attached. But he's the one that calls me everyday, and comes and visits everday, and i dont mind, but i dont see how that makes me attached. So we've been giving each other space because we've been arguing alot these days, and it seems to be helping. it's like i get so excited to hang out with him, and im disappointed because we don't do anything like we used to. i feel like we act more like friends lately then 2 people that are head over heels for each other. am i just being ungrateful?
2007-09-14 06:22:18 · 7 answers · asked by Consultant 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
He has told me that I've been ungrateful before, so it makes me wonder if I'm just being really selfish. He does try and stuff, like if my parents come and visit he spends time with us, and I do understand he's poor so it's fine we don't do anything, it's just boring lately. Is that just how it gets?
2007-09-14 06:22:33 · update #1
you guys just have to be creative, so what if your poor go to some free events, goto a museum, cook together, take a walk in the park, there are million things you guys can do together, step one turn off your tv, better yet throw it out the window.
2007-09-14 06:35:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people date for a very long time, you either have to get married or break up. Otherwise the person can be a fixture. I have heard it compared to a piece of furniture. Imagine, for example, that someone gives you a lamp that you don't like, but you put it out anyway because you want to make the person look good. After a few years, you change houses or apartments, and you take that lamp with you and put it in the new apartment. Why? Because you've had it for so long.
You and your boyfriend have been dating for so long that if you really love each other and want to be together, you should get married and do it. Otherwise, maybe your relationship has become more fixed and it's time to be friends but see other people.
You might just want to talk to him and bring up some of the concerns that you've mentioned here.
2007-09-14 13:57:11 · answer #2 · answered by drshorty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first guy said it best!!
slumps happen, that's how you know if you truly love/like the person you're with. Most relationships end after the first rut, because neither party wants to work on the relationship. Ruts/slumps happen from time to time in long term relationships. These are the real tests to know if you can, "just be" with someone. Sometimes it's boring, but it gets better again soon.
Whether you're ungrateful or not, I cannot say. hope any of this helps, but that first guy really hit the nail!
2007-09-14 13:36:32 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you get used to a routine it can be hard to change it. I don't think you're ungrateful, and you have every right to say "Well, that's what we usually do."
I don't like the "too attached" comment. My instincts say that is trouble. I think you need to talk to him a little about this.
EDIT - then I wouldn't worry too much about it. Perhaps spending a little time apart is what you both need. I've been married for a long time and we go through slumps.
It's important to maintain friendships too with girlfriends. it helps keep your sanity in check and reminds you that are a person that happens to be in a relationship.
Don't just define yourself as this person's girlfriend; start hanging out with your friends too.
2007-09-14 13:43:26 · answer #4 · answered by Done 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just in a slump - mix things up and bit - spring some suprises on him and suggest he do the same.
DON"T let it get you down - every relationship is like this at times.
2007-09-14 13:26:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do you love him? You don't mention this in your letter. It's up to you whether this is a significant omission or not. But...sometimes people just outgrow each other.
2007-09-14 14:10:24 · answer #6 · answered by TLH 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats what long term relationships can be like.
2007-09-14 13:27:09 · answer #7 · answered by Catherine1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋