My self-confidence lacks... is everything fine?

Question

First, I'll tell you about myself.
I'm 5 foot 4, weigh 185 pounds, my choice of clothing is seriously skewed towards shapeless shirts and pants that make me feel secure and look masculine, I am really shy, never had a boyfriend, very rarely had any friends in real life...
So I wonder, am I screwed in this life? Or do I have a chance of finding a man who is not a total looser, who appreciates me for who I am and won't look at the surface of things, that I'm fat and shy? And where would I find such man?

Answer 1

Shyness is for kids. Grow up before you start looking for a man.

Answer 2

you need to show confidence and not think of what other people are thinking because 9/10 times theyre not thinking what you think they are. As far as finding a man you being shy doesnt help. Be out there, show initiative to get the guys attention. without many friends its pretty hard to have a social life, which is causing your discomfort and lack of confidence around people. Best thing to do is go with whatever friend you do have to a bar, club or whatever and just hang by the bar and mingle. You need to break out your shyness, just act llike yourself, like you would to a sibling or a friend or by yourself in your home. If you feel embarrassed about your physical appearence join a gym and lose some weight. But remember, nothing will happen if you do not have respect for yourself. Once you respect and know that you can live a happy life independently will you be ready for a relationship and fnd some1. Remember, noone wants a loser so chin up have confidence and mingle mingle mingle

Answer 3

The shyness stems from a lack of confidence, so you need to work on your self-image before you can work toward becoming more outgoing.

Think about your strengths: what are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What have you accomplished in life thus far? What do you want to do with yourself in the future? Focus on things about you that are good and that you want to achieve.

If your weight is an issue, it's time to eat less and work out. I had zero motivation, so I got a personal trainer and lost a bunch of weight. It helps to have someone to cheer you on. Find a family member or friend (or teacher or co-worker or Internet buddy) to help you reach your goals. Or get a dog to walk with; people will start conversations with you over your pooch!

Believe me, there are people out there who prefer heavier, curvier women, but you'll never recognize them until you look more positively upon yourself. And if your self-confidence is lacking, it'll likely show in your posture and eye contact - and that is more of a turn-off than how you actually look. Try smiling at people and don't worry about their reaction. Go to the library and read a book by Anthony Robinson, or just puruse the self-help section until you find a motivational book that looks interesting to you.

The only person who can change your life is you. You do have a chance of finding a great guy and great friends, and of getting everything you want in this life - but you need to boost your own self-image before you can truly be happy.

Feel free to email me if you need some encouragement! Good luck!

Answer 4

They are around (men) ,and there is one for you, you see yourself that way, and that is the way other people will see you, so stop doing that. Have a positive attitude and it will reflect on to others. If you think you are fat then change that, and do something about it. You make your life what you want and when you put yourself down that is negative, and it shows outwards. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and there is someone for everyone, if you keep telling yourself all this negative stuff you bring your own self down, hold your head high and say I am a wonderful person ready for love, and you make it happen.

Answer 5

Honestly, I've battled with the same issues... It's not a fun place to be!

I have learned that there are all types of people out there... People that will judge you, pick on you, ignore you...BUT, there are also people that see through you...and realize you are a good person!

The main thing you need to focus on is gaining confidence and a positive perspective of yourself. Life is short... enjoy it while you have it! Think about the good things you have going for you and start wearing clothes that make you feel good about yourself. (I'm not saying you have to dress hoochy or anything... maybe wear brighter colors... or more feminine things).

Once you realize that you are a catch, so will others!

Good Luck (Trust me, I know it's not the easiest thing to deal with...I still struggle at times!)

Answer 6

Hey, sounds like you know what is wrong, now fix it. First, the weight thing must be taken care of. Just by reading your question tells me that this is the big one. Loose it, and I bet your self esteem will rise 80%. Just don't do a fad diet. Join some thing like weight watchers, Jenny Craig, etc Go to the meetings and that will help you stick to it.

Start excercising. If you can't afford a gym, then just walk. After you tackle that problem, the rest that you are worried about will take care of themselves.

AND Don't worry about a man right now, you have enough problems with yourself. Straighten your self up and then tackle a man.

Best of Luck

Answer 7

you may bypass to the doctor approximately this. I had a chum with a similar subject and it became out she had a tumor. additionally you have a thyroid subject. you somewhat could bypass to the doctor, i'm hoping you come back to a decision too! yet so a good distance as self-worth is going, I used to no longer have very solid self assurance. I grew up with a loopy mom that cherished to tell me how dumb and grotesque i advance into each and all of the time. so as this is the place my lack of self assurance got here from, and it have been given very undesirable, because of the fact once you lack self assurance in your self human beings manage you in a distinctive way and in reality that's a viscious cycle. so which you will pull your self out. everyday excersize will make you happier and don't hassle approximately wether or no longer you narrow back weight from it, purely comprehend that doing that's mentally solid for you. additionally purchase marvelous clothing and you will start to experience extra suitable approximately your self. purely you would be wanting to pamper your self regular and luxuriate interior the little issues in existence. And please bypass to the doctor to make useful everthing is fantastic, and that they'd in all threat supply you solid suggestion on what share cal. you may eat in line with day and all that solid stuff. and additionally the ultimate suggestion is to pretend it until eventually you're making it. while you're unhappy then smile anyhow and finally you will start to experience extra suitable. while you're shy then pretend you're actually not and bypass refer to that guy anyhow. ultimately you will advance into the guy you have been 'faking' to be. that's the real you anyhow :)

Answer 8

Well, You need to start by looking at yourself as very beautiful women instead of as being fat. There are guys out there that look at women for who they are and not what they look like. I have found a few and they are all my friends. But you have to look at yourself with confidence do not let things stand in your way(like your weight). YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and do not let anyone tell you different. You will find that one guy that rocks your world.

Answer 9

i think you could change this very easily... try to dress up more, do your hair put on some make-up... eye liner mascara, blush and lip gloss that's it! you will feel great. also try buying more feminine clothes that fit (not too loose).


Personality! personality makes a huge difference. if you feel un-confident people will read it very clearly and will not approach you. you need to love yourself in-order for someone to love you. believe me once you love yourself... weight, height, and even clothing wont make a difference.

I'm sure you're a beautiful girl and if you see that you will soon open up to more people.

Answer 10

dont take this the wrong way, im not being insulting, but you believe your problem is you are fat. you dress like you are fat. all your problems with men are because you feel no good guy wants you because you are fat.

lose weight or date guys that like girls your size. are you
white ? black guys tend to like women who are too heavy for white guys. date a black man.

date a man heavier then you. you will look great to him.

or, just sit in front of your computer eating doughnuts and crying about it.

im serious, until you feel better about your self, no one is going to like you.