Do you think it makes a woman a bad mother if...?

Question

she can afford to stay home with her children (hubby makes plenty) yet she chooses to work? The children are 2 and 4. I listened to this debate this morning on the radio as I was driving to school..what do you think?

Thanks!!

Sorry I didn't realize this is asked a lot, I am hardly ever in this category.

Answer 1

If you're a happier mommy you have happier kids. end of discussion. This question has been asked too many times before on here and is an extremely hot topic. Personally I stay at home b/c I couldn't imagine dumping my kids to strangers to give myself happiness over my kids but hey, different strokes for different folks.

Answer 2

I feel that the mother should be at home with the child for the first 5 years of his or her life including when he or she is born because those are the most critical years of a child's life. If the mother chooses to go back to work after then that is her choice. I personally am a housewife and will be be a stay at home mom until I die when I have children but that is because my husband and I are Muslim and we respect our God given roles in society. I think that a child would be a lot better off if it's mother could stay home with the child all the time because a woman's first job should be to taking care of her children and husband because it will keep the child out of trouble and it will be more beneficial to the child if his or her mother is at home when he goes to school and when he comes home from school. I think that part of the reason why kids are running society now and being hoodlums and having sex and making babies out of wedlock is because their mothers aren't home with them all day and when they get home from school. They are always at work. I think that if the child's mother stayed home more there would be less teen pregnancies and less teen sex and less crime committed by teenagers and children.

Answer 3

I think the question might better be Why do career women want to have children?
For a career woman, a degreed professional who spent years in college, to choose to have children they will have to ask themselves WHY? Am I looking to find a person as much like me if I was home to raise them? In the 70s women were asked if they can do it all? Some said yes without thinking about what they would be loosing in that choice. Do I want to take children on business trips with me or in Emergency rooms with me in the principles Office to sit for hours coloring while I finish my work? My degree is in Educational and Developmental Psychology...and 20 years of being a mother to my children instead of an Clinical advisor to everyone else's children. what I have found is that a woman has the job of being a Wife, a Mother, and a Career person... She may be able to manage two of them well but One of the three will fail.
Will they choose to not work because the children are only young once and they will miss seeing them learn to walk and talk and ride a bike or will they feel guilty for high education costs that never get used? or will the husband feel like he's the bottom of the priority ladder and trouble comes. Its a very different situation for single moms or families where the Dad cannot provide food housing medical needs and clothes. But many in our nation are NOT in that situation. We have many of these children who have not been taught manners, kindness, life skills and homemaking skills, and are raised on Tv iPods DVDs videos who communicate to their parents with cell phones and who are overweight. I don't know the statistics on how many are from Parents who make no regular daily time for the children because of being exhausted by working long hours but I think its more than they would admit. In the next 20 years we will be reaping the results of their choices. again my question is Why do degreed professional women choose to have children?

Answer 4

I have SO much respect for women that stay home with their child or children, just as I do for those working as daycare providers. I love to work. I love my job. I love my daughter, but I could not stand staying at home any longer than nine months. Putting my daughter in daycare has been great for her social skills, luckily I was able to use my sister-in-law for awhile and now I've found a very good provider and friendly environment for her to play and learn. If a mother is not happy staying home, that feeling is going to transfer to their child. Children are very receptive to other's feelings and tone or inflection. The best thing you can do is be happy and make them happy when you are together!

Answer 5

It doesn't make a woman a bad mother but it does make her less effective. The hard truth is that children really need to be cared for by a parent (I believe in stay-at-home dads if that's what works) until they are at least three years old. I also realize that that's not always feasible. After they are three, I think it's perfectly fine to work. In fact, it's probably a good idea. I wish that we could reconstruct our society to make that more possible. After all, Sandra Day O'Connor took time off to raise her children and she still made it to the Supreme Court.

Answer 6

I stayed home for most of 15yrs raising my kids & now that I want to go back to work it's hard for me to get a decent job. I say if the mom is willing and able to at least keep a part time job then by all means thats great, not only will it help her in the long run, but it gives her a break from the house and kids. Mommy needs adult time too.

Answer 7

Well, definitely not! My parents are doctors. My dad is a Pediatrician, and my mom is a psychiatrist. My dad made more than enough when I was born, yet my mom chose to work. She didn't study endlessly to stay at home and do baby-talk someday. And trust me, I have turned out just fine. I was the valedictorian in my old school and now I'm studying in one of the best schools in NY - Bronx Science, and am doing more than average there. All I know is I'm proud of my mom for who she is and for the decision she made. She gave me the greatest gift, she gave me life. She does not owe me any of her dreams and aspirations in any way. No mother should have to sacrifice her wishes for anyone. Afterall, at the end of the day, all we need is a happy mom! And their is not a day when I wonder what it would have been like if she had stayed at home. Afterall, I get to tell my friends that my parents are doctors and also get to live in the most beautiful house ever! No really, my room is HUGE!!!

Answer 8

No. I could not be a stay at home mom. I would go crazy. I tried it. I had no adult interaction. Work is where us mothers get to have adult conversations. When I stayed home full time I had the cleanest house on the block. But I was miserable. It just isn't for everyone. Some of us like to work full time at a job and at our home. Some women like to stay home with their children. It takes all kinds.

Answer 9

I am in that situation and all I can tell you is that I am a better and happier mom because I work. I tried to be a stay at home mom and it really wasn't for me. I felt bored and cranky and I really missed teaching. Now I try hard to balance work and mother hood and I am much happier and enjoy the quality time I spend with my children. Even my older son (8 years old) told me that he likes it when I work.
Bottom line you have to do what is best for you and your family. My husband always says a happy mom is a happy family!

Answer 10

I dont think it makes her a bad mom- at least I hope not! I'm a single mom and I choose to go to work. Even if I was married and could afford to stay home I'd still work if I loved my job. Dont get me wrong, I love my daughter more than words can say- but you can use a break sometimes. My grandma watches her for me while I'm at work, and I think it would break her heart if I stopped working. She looks forward to watching her SO much.
It's always nice to have extra money, too!

Answer 11

My opinion is that if you can afford to stay home you should because that is what is best for the kids. I know that this may be an unpopular opinion but I would never change it and beleive in it 100%. If you choose to work than your kids are with other people the majority of the time and most of your energy is put into things other than them and your home. Many people have to accept this because they need the money or health benefits.