i need fun ways to teach my 4 year old to focus?

Question

my son is four and an only child. hes not very social. he doesnt like playing with other kids at all. that is also a problem. the main problem is he cant or wont focus. he just started school three weeks ago. this is also his first time in any class room hes always been at home with me. so hes very shy and likes to play alone and doesnt share well. hos teacher says he is add or adhd or has aspergers disease. i read the signs and he doesnt really have any, so how do i teach my son to focus sit still and be quiet, . he understands he is supposed and tries too, but hes used to free play

any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated. my child is a loner not retarded, i hate that teacher hang an adhd or add diagnose on an active child its not right

any advice on dealing with the teacher too, i feel shes giving up on my child and not giving him a chance

my son will be five in february. he is not the youngest nor the oldest in his class but he is one of only a few that are only children.

Answer 1

The best way I've found is through games - fingerplays, age-appropriate board/card games, things like "Mother May I", "Simon Says" etc.

It sneaks the learning in - they learn to take turns, have good sportsmanship, listen, pay attention, focus - but they are playing at the same time. If there are other children you can invite to play too, that will help - and they don't have to be his same age - younger or older might make a difference.

From having an Aspie husby and child myself, I'm glad you did the research to see if you agreed with the teacher. However, you will want to keep an eye out - sometimes it CAN be early signs of Aspie's. BUT - it's very young to diagnose, even if that's the difficulty or part of it.

As for the teacher, you might ask her what she does in the classroom to get his attention, help him socialize, focus, etc. - and what she suggests you do at home to reinforce that. It will help if you can get her to feel you are a loving, involved parent (kudos to you for that by the way) who is trying to assist her, rather than a parent who will not help her. My personal feeling is she is too busy or has only given surface effort to your child - from what you've said at least - but making an enemy of her won't help.

Good luck! (:

Answer 2

Diagnosing a kid with ADHD when they are 4 is just silly and unproductive. I have a 5 year old who had similar problems last year, it was a challenge, and I probably went against every teacher/parenting manual, but it worked. The first thing I did was get some pretty cool toys, not expensive, just cool. Bubbles, frisbee, sand digging tools, and hot wheel cars. Then I took my kid to the park on busy days. By surrounding him with cool stuff the other kids came over and wanted to play. This allowed my son to have the control of knowing they were his things, but that he had to share. I watched him really carefully and made sure he knew when it was fair to share. If he got too frustrated I took him home, but we kept trying. His social skills improved in about 3 weeks, of 2-3 times a week. He still has relapses, but he is much better.
As for the school focusing, I got sneaky there too. We would practice with flashcards made by Bob the Builder, his favorite show. They have numbers, letters and colors. I would put just 5-10 out and he would have to be able to identify them before we could watch a BTB episode. After a while when he seemed to be faking that he didn't know the colors I went to a fireworks store and got those tiny snakes. You light up one end and they grow, like an ash snake. Anyway, each box was a different color. I would give my son instructions on how to get one out of the red box, and we would light it up, next the green box...etc. He learned pretty quickly.
As for the teacher, tell her he is a creative child and if he doesn't improve by second grade you will look into it, but for now you are more interested in him having a child hood that drugging him.

Answer 3

Go to Walmart and buy a preschool readiness activity book. They have HUGE books that cover letters, numbers, shapes, exercises to identify biggest and smallest, etc... My son LOVES to do these activity books and they are very educational. If you really want to get into reading and writing, (which may be a little too advanced at age 4 depending on the child) step it up to a kindergarten workbook. They are about 8 or 9 bucks a piece, and will keep them busy for a LONG time!

Answer 4

He's probably just fine and normal and playing the way he is used to playing....she needs to give him time to adjust.

What kind of school is it? Is the curriculum and classroom set up for it is developmentally appropriate for him???

Is he a young 4? Parallel play is pretty common for kids a bit younger than 4---kids who play next to each other but not together.

I would say relax, give him time and see what happens. Keep school a positive place and don't rush him or he'll have problems in school as he gets older.

Answer 5

This link has some tips on disciplining in a positive way that could be translated into your situation.

Its a little off, but the closest thing I could find that might help?
Good Luck!

Answer 6

these teachers know and see kids every day and that is why he won't focus its not cause he won't he can't you need to get hims some help and the school also offers help for the kids n school get with it soon.