Since his teen years we've had a conflicting relationship. He's a good young adult, is an engineer, respected, has a good job. But now he broke my trust really bad, let me really down. I expected he would act in a way, but he did something else I didn't expect and didn't approve of. I must say he had the right to act as he did, and can't say he broke his word, because he never said he would do as I'd like him to. He never compromised, it's true. But I expected him to act as I thought he should, I trusted that, and he broke my trust. He doesn't think he did anything wrong, actually he thinks he did what he should do and doesn't accept I say he broke my trust, because he never promised he would do what I wanted.
But I'm his father, and he didn't act as I expected. In my place, wouldn't you be kinda angry, hurt and frustrated? Should I write him off?
2007-09-14 05:07:39 · 8 answers · asked by Marcos 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your son is an adult, and you need to back off. It sounds like he made the decision that is right for him, a grown man. Your goal as a parent is to raise a child to be self sufficient and not be a burden on society. Sounds like you did a good job and now you don't know how to let go. My guess is that's been your problem all along. Hand him the reins of his own life, and cut the leash you have on him. Get on with your own life and learn how to parent an adult.
One more thing. In all honesty, if this was your father treating you this way, would you put up with it? If no, then apply this to your son. If yes, then take a moment to remember how impotent you felt.
2007-09-14 05:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
We all make mistakes , I don't think you should write him off ,but rather talk to him about it , was it so bad by your standard ? Was it a learning curve for him.A lot of people learn by their mistakes and at the time it may not seem that bad.Its only later on in life that he may say to you Dad, I wish I hadn't done that !Did you ever do anything that you regretted ! I don't mean it as a cheeky comment ,but a realistic view of Human Behavior.
2007-09-14 05:20:25 · answer #2 · answered by Lindsay Jane 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
by your own words, he hasn't actually done anything to earn your distrust. I could see perhaps you being disappointed in his actions, but how does that equate to mistrusting him. I think that you expect a lot of him . so much so that you don't give him the space to make his own decisions. I'm sorry to say that this time, Dad, I think you are wrong
2007-09-16 04:45:04 · answer #3 · answered by al b 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to let him be is own person. To have expectations will only let you down (obviously). You can't be angry with him if he didn't do it the way you wanted him. What is the exact situation? So I can help you better.
2007-09-14 05:29:03 · answer #4 · answered by aintlifegrand 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You say he had the right to do what he did, so why are you getting in a tiz, you have an immature attitude for a father. No, I would not be hurt or angry, neither should you.
2007-09-14 05:52:50 · answer #5 · answered by joe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Annie it is going to depend on what he did? Then I could give better advice as a 23 yr old myself.
2007-09-14 06:00:58 · answer #6 · answered by Katie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to say but i agree with your son....he is an adult with the right to make his own decisions...and even though it may not be what you would choose...how can you say he broke your trust ...if he was thinking for himself?
2007-09-14 05:16:21 · answer #7 · answered by jazzy l 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
could you explain what he did...be/c I can't answer this w/out knowing What he did to lose your trust?
2007-09-14 05:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by **annie anytime** 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋