Why does to Christian always have to forgive a person with they do him/her wrong?

Question

I consider myself a Christian and I am trying to grow as a Christian and obey the word, but they so grey areas of Christianity that I don't understand. Why when someone that does you wrong does the Christian have to find a way to forgive the wrongdoer. For instance, someone molest you as a child, you have to forgive the perpetrator. If a father or mother abuse you as a child and when you get older than was never there for you and then you get successful in life, why is the Christian that have to reach out the try and form some kind of relationship with you parents and try and find a way to forgive them? Another example, a boss ask you develop some ideas to improve a job that he is in charge of and you do it to the best of you ability and you boss present it to his boss and not only get a raise for it but get a promotion. Why do you have to forgive him?

It seems like Christianity makes you go against your natural feelings and natural self.

Answer 1

You hit the nail on the head...Christianity makes us go against our natural feelings and natural self.

When we choose to follow Christ, he asks that we put aside the desires of the flesh and instead, to allow the spirit to live within us. This is the essence of what it means to be "born again"...that when we accept the grace of God through Jesus, that our old selves, our "sinful nature" if you prefer, must die to be replaced with the spirit of God.

Matthew 6:15. "But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." How can we claim and every really believe that God has forgiven us for our worst sins and not extend that forgiveness to others. One of the biggest "sins" of the flesh is arrogance...believing that we are somehow more deserving of the grace of God than others. More fundamentally, we seem to think that our unwillingness to forgive another person actually hurts them when the only person we hurt is ourselves. To accept the forgiveness of God, we have to let go of our own unforgiveness. The bitterness, pain, vengance, and other feelings associated with unforgiveness separate us from the love of God.

I know it is hard, I've had some people do some crappy things to me in my life and many times I've said I couldn't forgive them for the harm them did to me. Then I realized that I was harming myself and asked God to give me the grace to forgive them...the peace of mind that comes with forgiveness is well worth the effort it takes to achieve.

Answer 2

Well, forgiveness is important, but there are still
consequences for actions!
just not revenge - one needs wisdom like Solomon.
Solomon judged people fairly and that is what we need
to do. There are several examples in the Bible where
someone did something wrong and a fair judgement
was needed without revenge or anger.
Forgiveness does not mean no consequences for actions.
We can love someone and still serve justice.
The balance of being just and merciful is indeed
something to learn - it's all about wisdom.
I hope that helped.

Answer 3

Well, yes. The reason is that hate and vengeance poison yourself, however justified that it might be. It does not mean that you cannot be angry at someone, nor does it mean that you have to put up with abuse. It means that you must eventually recognize that the person who did you harm is really only human, too, and for whatever reason is sick in that way. You yourself harm others by your actions sometimes. You are really better off learning to forgive, but it does not mean that you have to forget it either. It does not negate the right to demand justice. It does negate the idea that you have to somehow "get back" at the person by acting out in inappropriate ways.

Answer 4

That's right our natural tendency is toward revenge, the thing is once we have been saved we should be identifying with Christ and not our humanness. Our natural nature is the sin nature. We don't have to "feel" forgiveness at first but if we persist to forgive because we are called to eventually we do forgive and "feel" it. We are asked to forgive for our sakes. Anger,resentment and revenge hurt us more than the person we are angry at. I once heard it described as swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies. We are supposed to work at releasing those feelings and trusting that God will take care of the rest, only He knows why the person acted the way they did and only he can take care of it justly. Anger and hatred cause all kinds of physical and emotional problems. We are called to pray for those who hurt and persecute us not just for their sake but for our own.

Answer 5

You are exactly right. Christianity DOES fight against your natural feelings and natural self. You are to forgive as Christ forgave us. That is His commandment. Now, I'm human too, and it is VERY hard to forgive in any of the cases you mentioned. Do your best. Ask God to help you. He will. Take care.

Answer 6

I think it is important for people of ALL belief systems to forgive those who do us wrong. In my experience, holding a grudge against someone (no matter what they did to you) creates a heavyness in the spirit which henders good communication with the Devine. The Devine is all forgiving so should we be! Pluse it just feels good to let go and put it into Higher - and obviously more capeable- hands. If it is too hard to approach who did you wrong in person, forgiveing them in your heart can sometimes be enough. God knows what's in your heart.

Brightest Blessings on your Path
Kayla.

Answer 7

God gives us Grace. Do not be concerned with doing everything right, because I can assure you, you won't. But rather focus on your relationship with our awesome creator and read His word and meditate on it as much of day and night as you possibly can. When you talk to God just thank Him for all He has already done in your life and all He has done by sending His own Son to die for us. And just worship Him for the totally cool creator He truly is.

Trust in Him and He will change your want to's, so the evil that was second nature you will no longer want to. P.S. Apart from Him we can do nothing.Take care and may God bless you spiritually.

Answer 8

I believe that by forgiving someone (like your parents for neglecting you, for instance), brings healing within yourself. It might not have any impact on the person who wronged you, but it has a positive impact you you and healing can start.

That's the most important reason we forgive others.

Answer 9

Our natural selves are full of sin, but when we become a Christian we become a new creature in Jesus.

2 Corinthians 5:17
Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Jesus commands us to love others if we love him:

Matthew 5:43-44
Ye have heard that it hath been said, Thou shalt love thy neighbour, and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

John 14:23
Jesus answered and said unto him, If a man love me, he will keep my words: and my Father will love him, and we will come unto him, and make our abode with him.

Peace be with you

Answer 10

the help gay human beings choose is to realize: one million) That being gay is favourite 2) That being gay isn't immoral or incorrect 3) that each and every physique this 'salvation" demands them to the two "substitute" or a minimum of "supply up committing gay acts" IS absolute bunk 4) someone's sexual orientation can no longer get replaced and to assume one to "substitute" or have self assurance thy could is an incredible diservice and in extreme circumstances ends up in suicide. 5) This assumption that gay human beings choose 'forgiveness" is unwarranted. 6) Persecution of gays and the ignorant stands of "religions' who state that each and every physique gay relationships are incorrect or evil or disorrdered, etc. desires to offer up. The "help" you assume they could settle for to "substitute" and be "forgiven" does no longer help. rather it unnecessarily brings all way of pointless soreness and suffering to those that are brainwashed into believing this. Please supply up spreading your risky lack of know-how by affirming: "settle for the shown fact that some gay human beings prefer to alter and be a christian and that i think of this is okay to alter." this is SO incorrect on many levels; one million) sexual orientation can no longer get replaced 2) Bisexuals may well be waiting to function properly in a rapidly relationahip, yet unique homosexuals can no longer. in the event that they're to ever have a passable loving and intimate courting this is going to be with their comparable intercourse. 3) A gay person in a committed loving comparable-intercourse courting isn't DOING something incorrect. those relationships are solid for those in contact and robust for society 4) Being in considered one of these courting isn't counter to being a solid Christian.