My girl told me she was raped at 14years and since then she have never had sex and shes 20yrs now.can i trust her for that even thought i trust her so much but some of my friend told me that it can never be because if girls tast sex once they will ant it always.i tryed her and she seems to be virgin.she cried and she never can bear it when we have sex.what does that means.can i still trust her for that?.that she never had sex since that.even thought she disvirgined me at 20.
2007-09-14 03:15:56 · 40 answers · asked by cross kenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Why would she lie about something as horrible as that. And why would you tell your friends something personal like that. I'm pretty sure that she didn't want them to know. If you are going to believe some stupid advice that your underage friends give you then you are not ready for a relationship. Just because a girl has sex does not mean that she can't stop or go a long time without having sex. Have you heard of the term born again virgins. Some people make mistakes but then realize that they don't want to have sex until marriages. But in your case your gf wasn't having sex she was raped!!! So stop talking about her to your friends and talk to her
2007-09-14 03:24:01 · answer #1 · answered by CuriousStacy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I would hope that she wouldn't make up such a lie. If she is crying when you are intimate them you should believe her. Your friend is wrong about the whole "once they taste sex" comment. Rape is not something that you experiece and start craving sex like crazy afterwards. Its very traumatic for a person mentally AND physically. Some NEVER have sex after something like that. Its suprising that she even has tried to be intimate. Be patient and the worst thing you could do is pressure her and not believe her b/c people who have been raped tend to not believe or trust many people. Make sure she gets the counseling that she needs to work through this and MAYBE one day she will have a happy, healthy sex life in the future. Its a process, not a theory. Its hard to understand if you have not experienced what she has been through. (And get your friends some books so maybe they will understand as well. Very delicate subject.)
2007-09-14 03:28:54 · answer #2 · answered by Lil Momma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, why would you think that she would lie about something like that. Rape isn't anything to play with. No one likes to do something that they were forced to do, even after the fact, so your friends are wrong. Rape can tramatize a person to the point that it will make them not want to or enjoy somethings that most people would enjoy. Stop listening to your friends. If you trust her then trust her. Your friends are going to be the cause of you having some serious problems in your relationship. If you tried and she seemed to be a virgin and she can't seem to get comfortable during sex, then what more do you need. What you need to do is ask yourself how much does she mean to you. Don't pressure to do something that she is not ready for. Is sex more important to you than having someone important to you in your life? If it is, then you need to break the relationship ship off and find someone else that you can have sex with.
2007-09-14 03:29:29 · answer #3 · answered by PreciousLady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your friend that told you that if a girl "tastes" sex once they will always want it is off base. Think about what he is saying, he is saying that your girlfriends sexual experience of being raped will spark in her this uncontrollable desire for sex? That is pretty sick. As if rape and sex are the same thing???
From my own personal experience I can tell you that just because you have sex doesn't mean you can't decide that you don't want to anymore. I was sexually abused as a child and in turn had a poor idea of my self-worth and made some bad decisions. At 16 years old I lost my virginity to my then boyfriend and very shortly after that ended up breaking up with him for lying. I decided that I wasn't just going to sleep with every guy I dated and that I would wait until I was married to have sex again. I started dating another guy when I was 17 and four years later we got married and the first time we had sex was on our wedding night.
I think you need to give your woman the benefit of the doubt because your friend's all-knowing knowledge of the ladies is obviously lacking. Good luck!
2007-09-14 03:25:20 · answer #4 · answered by ms_quoted 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean can you trust her?
You are selfish and should stop seeing this woman. She deserves to be with a man - not a predator.
What in the world does "a woman tastes sex once and wants it all the time" mean?
SHE WAS RAPED!!! She didn't have sex with anyone. She had someone violate her body and from what I can see ruin her sexual life.
So, not only was she raped at 14, now she has YOU forcing yourself onto this poor soul. If I knew you in real life I would take your girlfriend to the nearest women's shelter and make sure you never touch her again.
You "tryed her"? And she cried and can never bear it? It is because SHE WAS RAPED!!!
The reason why she cries and hasn't had sex is because everytime she has sex, she is being raped again and again.
Sex and rape are not the same thing.
I will repeat this and it is sad that I should have to: RAPE AND SEX ARE NOT THE SAME THING.
She needs to speak to a rape counsellor because she will forever attract men like you who will continue to take from her and rape her spirit.
You owe it to her to stop seeing her.
2007-09-14 03:30:53 · answer #5 · answered by KD 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This means she's seriously disturbed and you should be really gentle and sweet with her. If she told you she was raped and can't bear sex then it's clear that she is probably telling the truth. I don't see why someone would lie about a thing like that. If a girl tastes sex once they will want it always? Who told you that, it's absolute ****. And rape is NOT sex, it's a brutal and violent crime against a person that can traumatise them for years afterwards and make the experience of sex seem scary and overwhelming. Talk to her, be understanding, believe her, be gentle with her and take it slowly.
2007-09-14 03:20:42 · answer #6 · answered by Katrina W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know her well and have faith in her feelings towards you, I think you can be pretty confident that she is telling the truth. Maybe she never reported the rape because it was a good friend or a boyfriend, and she was scared. No matter what the situation is, she is probably very scarred from what happened and you should be thankful and happy that she chose you to start having sex with after such a traumatic event. Make her feel loved and comfortable with herself, and in time your sex will be on a level you have never dreamed of.
2007-09-14 03:19:41 · answer #7 · answered by Jarrod T 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all I'd believe her. Woman don't play around with that subject so if she told then it's the truth. She told you only because she trusts you. The reason she cried was probably because it's a very emotional situation. She'll never forget what happened to her and if your approach is wrong it'll only remind her of it. Be gentle with her always when it comes to sex and emotional times. Also, assuming your approach didn't remind her of that nightmare memory then it may have been that she hadn't had sex in a long time and her body wasn't ready.
Be gentle with her always man. Remember that.
2007-09-14 03:25:38 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all RAPE IS NOT HAVING SEX. Don't get sex and rape mixed up just because the same body parts are used. If she trusted you enough to tell you something like this why shouldn't you trust her? Your friends need to be educated about rape. If you need to know more I suggest you get in touch with a rape crisis center so you can ask all the questions and get answered by people who can inform you better than your friends. I wish you luck.
2007-09-14 03:24:53 · answer #9 · answered by rencar32002 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can trust her. Your friend is a moron, girls are not obsessed about sex like guys are. Your girlfriend needs your love and support. It must have been so hard for her to have sex for the first time after the rape. She must really love you to do that. When she cried, she was probably trying to get past the brutal memories of the rape. Be gentle with her and urge her to get some therapy to get over her fears if she has not already seeked it out.
Please be gentle with her, she needs you to do that. Don't let sex be forever a bad thing for her because of her past experience.
2007-09-14 03:24:29 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋