I am a fairly quiet person. I don't spend a lot of time talking at work mainly because I am working. I also don't express how I feel about my job to my boss, who is also my mother-in-law. I am always polite to everyone I work with. Recently, I was called in her office, and she told me that I needed to "get better at communicating" with her and others at work because I'm being rude by not talking. I think it is inappropriate to bother co-workers and tell your boss that you believe she is unfair and you don't enjoy working for her. According to her, I should talk about it more...while at work! I'm so confused! Is this really a communication problem like she says?
2007-09-14 03:13:46 · 6 answers · asked by Pais 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
no - I'm the same way and made it into management - people who talk too much drive me crazy - relatives included. I talk when I need to or want to, not just for the sake of making noise - M-I-L sounds like a real trip - sorry you have to work in that kind of situation
2007-09-14 03:22:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
One thing you might ask your boss?MIL to help you more clearly understand is, exactly how are these communication issues negatively impacting your job performance? Chances are good that she won't be able to.
She didn't hire you to be a friend or to socialize, she hired you to do a job. One thing that might be at play here is that your boss and coworkers might be extroverts and you might be an introvert. Or you may have a more appropriate sense of the boundary between work and play. this is especially tough working with family.
In discussions like this, ALWAYS bring it back to "exactly how is my performance suffering?" Make her quantify it for you, and reinforce that you think it is more appropriate to behave professionally at the workplace - ESPECIALLY given your relationship with her.
If I was her, I'd be concerned about the perception of favoritism. She SHOULD be hyper-aware of professional boundaries - especially with a relative.
That said, sometimes getting the job done is easier when you have a comfort level or some relationship with people you work with. Start with small talk on YOUR terms.
2007-09-14 03:34:08 · answer #2 · answered by TLH 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are bad at communicating, your mother in law probably just wants you to join in with mindless office gossip and chatter. Do your job, continue to be polite to the other workers and don't worry about what your boss said.
2007-09-14 03:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just start saying "Hi, how are you today" to your co-workers. You don't have to get into how much you like your job or your plans for the weekend. Just some polite, general conversation. If the subject turns to something you don't want to discuss, just smile and say, "I'm sorry, I really should get back to work. Excuse me."
2007-09-14 03:31:35 · answer #4 · answered by startwinkle05 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you wearing enough flair? A mother in law that's critical of the daughter in law....I bet that's never happened before! Seriously, don't put any stock in her opinion. It's her opinion after all. If you take all her advice, you know who you'll end up like? Her. So don't do it and be yourself.
2007-09-14 03:25:52 · answer #5 · answered by Thegustaffa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can you repeat that, I don't undertand..
2007-09-18 03:06:37 · answer #6 · answered by Dan B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋