I am 25 female living with parents because of financial difficulties. I have never been rebellious or caused problems and lived on ym own for 5 years previously. I have been recently this summer going out more and now have a boyfirend. They have given me a curfew and start calling my phone 30 min after that time if I am not home. I always tell them where I am, same place, and who I am with, same person. Theyare not religious but dont want me to spend the night or stay out past midnight. Am I being unresponsible to think these rules are a little strict? How should i deal with this.
2007-09-14 03:04:22 · 33 answers · asked by m 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It is a little much, but it is their house you are staying in so they get to make the rules. You deal with it by getting a place of your own.
2007-09-14 03:09:44 · answer #1 · answered by remowlms 7 · 5⤊ 1⤋
Well, maybe a little unfair BUT, you ARE living in their home, so be respectful of their wishes and rules.
Maybe part of the reason they have set these rules with you is because it'll give you more incentive to move back out and be on your own again. They love you, but were accustomed to the way things were for 5 years.
I think you need to deal with it by explaining that you are an adult and you'd like to be treated as one. They've given you an opportunity to try to get back on your feet by saving money. Maybe they're afraid you're putting too much into this new boyfriend and not putting enough into a normal patterned routine of working full time and getting enough sleep. They worry, no matter how old you get, and with you under their roof, they worry more.
I say you try to respect them and stick to their rules.
2007-09-14 03:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There IS only one way to deal with this, and that is MOVE OUT. You are an adult, get yourself a job. washing dishes "what ever" and get your own place, or look for a room mate and share the expenses.
Your parents are giving you a huge hint by treating you like a child by giving you a curfew.
YOU ARE YOUR responsibility
I know you'd like to hear someone sympathize with your situation and tell you that YOU are right, but honey sometimes you need a rude awakening. and this may be it. You NEED to make a life plan for your self.
Do you have any career goals? put them in motion, and follow through. It sounds to me like you have been a bit irresponsible in the past that's what got you into financial trouble so now is the time to Rebuild your future and make your parents PROUD of you. Lots of Luck
2007-09-14 03:35:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No offense, but as a parent, I can see their point. They don't want you waking them up all hours of the night. If you don't want to live by their rules, at 25, you should be out on your own anyways. Midnight is NOT unreasonable since you are living with your parents who are, I'm sure, in bed before then. Why should they have to worry if you're all right, in an accident or whatever. Or be woken up at 2 or 3 in the morning when you come home. Don't like it, move out and live on your own like you should be anyways!!! You're old enough to be on your own. Get a second job if you need help with your money situation instead of running home and expecting your parents to bail you out and then complaining about your parents rules!
2007-09-14 03:30:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, their rules are very strict. After all, you are 25, and you said you haven't given them a reason to worry, however, it's the rules of their home, and if you live there, those are the rules you have to abide by. I know it doesn't give you any consolation. My sister is 35 yrs old and has a 10 yr old son, that my mom adores, however when she and her bf (the father) spend the night at my mom's place, they have to sleep in separate rooms. It makes absolutely no sense, but it's the house rules. I'd suggest you find a way to afford to live on your own or with friends.
2007-09-14 03:15:03 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Live in their house, you follow their rules.
Period. It's called courtesy.
Besides, being home for midnight is a good thing...keeps you from being fired for being asleep at work the next day.
Anyway...try approaching your parents about extending the curfew to 2AM on Friday and Saturday evening. Just remember to be polite and not wake them up when you come in.
EDIT:
Rent or no...their house, their rules. Unless you're living in a "detached" appartment.
2007-09-14 07:51:50 · answer #6 · answered by jcurrieii 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you can get through these financial difficulties and move out very soon. Until then, if you're paying rent they shouldn't be telling you when to come home unless you're coming in at 2 in the morning and waking everyone up, being loud and stuff. If you're coming in quietly and not bothering anyone they shouldn't have a problem with it. If you're not paying rent that puts you in a bad situation because you're kind of dependent on them. If you keep having problems and disagreements with them like this it could really hurt your relationship with them so I hope you can get this resolved soon. Good luck
2007-09-14 07:05:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you are under their roof and they are your parents then they get to make the rules. Its only because they care about you and don't want you hurt. What if you went to some night club and God forbid something happened to you..ALL that they have done for you will equal to 0..You are an adult and you should understand that it is unsafe for women to be out past midnight. Either move out or abide with the rules.
2007-09-14 03:28:26 · answer #8 · answered by imsweet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to get your own place. They see you as a kid but you are an adult. They also worry about you and since you live with them you have to respect their rules whether or not you think it is fair. Maybe your judgment of "boyfriends" haven't been all that great so they are trying to make sure you don't make the same mistakes. It sucks, it isn't fair and they are treating you like a child. BUT you chose to live there instead of becoming a responisble adult. Get an apartment with a roommate (NOT your boyfriend).
2007-09-14 03:26:40 · answer #9 · answered by spinster wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are supose to follow your parents rules, from like age 1-18. You are your own person. They shouldn't be telling you what time to come home even if your living with them. They just don't like the fact that your getting older and your going to do your own thing. They want you to still need them. They are feeling a little left out!
Talk to them and tell them how you feel about their rules. Ask them if thier parents had the same rules for them.
Good Luck!
2007-09-14 03:15:47 · answer #10 · answered by Don't be taken for granted! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To me it looks Ur parents are conservative. It is generally found in Indians/Muslim families. They r always extra cautious about their children specially grown up daughters. I don't know where u come from. U also said Ur parents are not religious that does not matter, they r by nature conservative because they grew up in that condition. They r doing curfew sort of things for ur well being. They take u to be still immature and irresponsible.What can u do, as long as u r with them u have to follow their rules. Taking u for Indian/Muslim I ventured to answer in his manner,hope u won't mind. To rid yourself of this do something so that u can live independently.
2007-09-14 03:39:21 · answer #11 · answered by nazbak 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋