Please don't judge but I take recreational drugs. I have cut down on use considerably since splitting with emotionally abusive ex (who is a dealer). I now go clubbing once every six weeks or so, and might take 2 xtc pills. I have distanced myself from ‘our’ group of friends cos seeing him still envokes strong feelings of hurt and anguish over the way he treated me (bully, control freak, pusher). However I miss my friends. A lot. There is an engagement party of his best friend and the woman I feel close to. I want to go, but don’t want to see him. When I think of him it makes me feel sick inside cos he made me so depressed and hating myself. When I think of missing out on fun times with friends, it makes me feel sick also. When I was with them I felt like I had a family, that I was loved and fitted in for the first time ever (I’m 27 and have had traumatic upbringing). However, I wonder how much of that was cos I was with him, how much was cos of the drugs etc. I really want
2007-09-14 00:20:20 · 12 answers · asked by rollacoasta 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
to go, but it wld involve an overnight stay & 36 hours of partying where I know I will take lots of drugs, & several different types (not heroin or crack) – it’s the way every party with these people goes. I like the fact that I have left it all behind, & am enjoying doing other thing with my life. However miss the parties, miss my friends & think if I snub the engagement party I might just alienate myself altogether. I have cut the ex out altogether, changed numbers, blocked e-mails, so am anxious about being at a party where he is. I don’t know what to do. I feel like that part of my life is over, & I forced myself into that position by cutting the ex out. & it’s sad cos I miss everyone so much. & I kinda miss the hard-partying. I don’t know what to do. It all just hurts a lot. But it’s been 4 months since we split, &I just don’t trust myself around him on drugs, He manipulated me, but I still blame myself. Do I try and put a brave face on for my friends? Or cut losses?
2007-09-14 00:21:35 · update #1
this my sound harsh but it is a honest opinion...first of all grow up you are not a teenager no more!!....2nd of all why would you want to go anywhere near where your ex would be if he was so cruel to you...3rd of all its not your friends (so called friends) you miss its the drugs and the partying....at your age you should be sorting your life out and finding better things to do than to go partying and taking loads of drugs!!...have you not thought that all this bad feeling you are having is due to taking mind altering drugs???....they make you depressed and emotional...they all turn people mad so be carefull!!!!....I think it is time to start a new chapter cut your losses and find some friends that dont take drugs....and some hobbies that will fill your time....new college course anything just to start a fresh!!.....I could carry on but I will stop now
2007-09-14 00:37:28 · answer #1 · answered by cukkoo 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would say stay away. You are brave - telling the world that you are a drug user does require some courage, and coming away from drugs requires even more. Gather up that courage again that allowed you to get away from your 'ex'. As you know you can not stay away from drugs if you go there, you better wont, because it will be even more difficult for you to return back to normal once you retrun to 'old friends'.
I know it hurts to change your friends. But there is always a dawn after every night and the DEEPER THE NIGHT GETS THE CLOSER IS IT TO DAWN ... So just accept this split as a necessity to find something better ... Think about your future relationship. When you really find someone who loves you, will you want him to be the husband of a girl who has such friends ??? Cut them out of your life, it will hurt ... may be for an year, then you will stand in front of the mirror and say "Thank God! I didn't go that day". Trust me, I have broken relations with my best friend and after 2 years of misery stood in front of a mirror and said "Thank goodness I cut her off my life!".
But if you feel really bad about not meeting them, then try mailing them or calling them, where you wont come face to face with them, so that they cant lure you too much. Tell them you dont want to meet your ex ... they will understand, provided they ever were your true friends
2007-09-14 00:50:31 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, people with a traumatic upbringing are instantly attracted to anyone making them feel wanted and welcome. Abusive people and drug dealers and all other misfits haul them in by the dozen. Anyone who wants to be your real friend would not like you doing drugs or anything that drags you down.
Don't do this to yourself any longer. You deserve a genuine break. Seek professional help, the doctor should advise you. Go to adult education classes and get qualifications, Join a local theatrical group. It doesn't have to be acting, you can work behind the scenes. Find SOMETHING that will enrich your mind rather than destroy it. It will be difficult, but you are worth so much more than these people. This party will be of no benefit to you, and deep down in your heart you know that.
I really wish you well xxx
2007-09-14 09:41:13 · answer #3 · answered by Thia 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As I read this, you miss your substance abuser friends, and events that revolve around substance abuse. But you don't want us to judge you.
If I'm not going to judge you or the lifestyle that you clearly do not want to abandon, then I say you might as well go, see your friends, shoot up, take your X, and have at it. You know the consequences of this life and that you could easily end up dead or bankrupt at the end of the line, or knocked up with a child that neither you nor the father can support. Go for it -- this seems like what you want to hear.
If you don't want to read something that you will probably perceive as "judgmental," stop reading. You know in your heart of hearts that you need to knock this sh*t off. Stop the drugs, make a clean break from the "friends" who live this lifestyle, get professional help for your depression, and get control over the "traumatic upbringing" that is still causing chaos well into your adult life. I know you're not going to take this advice, but there it is anyway.
2007-09-14 04:16:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well done for breaking out of this abusive relationship and cutting down on your drugs. I have never experienced either but I know many who have and so I have an idea of what you have acheived.
To answer your question, you have to weigh it up. What is more important to you, your health and sanity or a party? The party will end but you may be back where you started. I'd say there is no choice at all, but to choose life and stay away. Try and find people who will support your decision and make alternative, safe, arrangements for the night of the party so you aren't at home feeling low or tempted to go.
Hope it all goes well for you
2007-09-14 01:46:07 · answer #5 · answered by good tree 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If you want to start a new life, you must make a clean slate. You must have cut down on the intake of drugs, but if you keep socialising with people who take them you will never get rid of the habit.
You might be able to see your friend you have not seen for a while in this engagement party, but is it going to make you happy if your ex is there and you have just said that part of the fun to members of your peers is taking a cocktail of drugs, if you want to start afresh, are you sure that is the environment you should be in. So if I were you, I'll consider my options very carefully.
I know it is painful to loose friends, but if you start afresh you will make friends and those kind of friend are the one who are going to appreciate you for who you are, not what you have to offer or do.
2007-09-14 01:13:04 · answer #6 · answered by soraya 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Cut your loses and stay the course on your new life. I'm not judging you but the drugs your are doing will turn your brain into mush and make you look much older before your time. Find something in your life that makes you happy and won't destroy you. There are people everywhere that can offer you that same kind of friendship if you offer it to them. Find something else you are interested in that is healthy. You might even find even healther friendships and a great man. Good luck!
2007-09-14 00:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by Muley Bob 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as though you, yourself, do not have any pride in your drug use, so why put yourself in situatons taht are only going to encourage you to use?
I appreciate that you had friends that you and your ex share/shared, but it sounds to me like he's a bit of a loser and that you are managing to put your life back on track.
Personally, I'd continue with moving on (and away) from these people, and any that you really want to stay in touch with, contact them individually and see them on your own terms in an environment that doesn't encourage the yearning for drugs.
If you can do it, you'll feel great about yourself, get a new circle of friends and the lousy feelings you have about your ex will become history!!
Best of luck!
2007-09-14 00:32:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well I would say that if you love yourself don't go. Yes, it will be very hard and yes you might alienate yourself, but if you want to change your life around and not be in that lifestyle any more, then you need to let go. It's very hard because it's been a habit in your life, but you need to stick to your guns and stay away from them. Do you have any family or other friends that aren't in this crowd that can help you and stand by you to support you going through this? Because you will need a lot of support in order to change and leave this lifestyle behind.
2007-09-14 00:32:44 · answer #9 · answered by lastcaress21 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
When I first started to read your question I thought go have fun , But as I read on I see you dilemma you will have to much contact with him and he will have you right back in that situation. You are doing so great right, now you have gone cold turkey. So lets not go three steps forward and two steps back, maybe you can get together with your friends at a later date lots of luck
2007-09-14 00:38:22 · answer #10 · answered by Jan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋