my dad against me sending 3 yr old son to playgroup?

Question

my dad is anti everything.ive just started sending my son to playgroup.he does cry but i think he needs to get used to going to school.my dad is angry and accusing me of wanting to get rid of him.and he says all the carers are wierdos.im still going to send him i just wanted to know if there is anyone else like him in the world.

Answer 1

my mum was like that, one of these old fashioned parents, never sent me or my brothers to playgroup, said you lose them soon enough to school at 4, and as a result me and my brothers had a hard time making friends at school.

My mum soon changed her tune when she saw how much my daughter loved her nursery class, her teachers were wonderful, and now she has settled in great in Reception class at the same school, with all her friends from her nursery class.

In short, tell your Dad to mind his own business, your son is bound to be a little nervous for the first few days, its a big thing, and some kids genuinely do get upset at the thought of being left with other people, but I bet he has a great time the whole session after 5 minutes of tears. A lot of tears at the door are for Mum's benefit anyways. Nursery is great for kids development and to give Mum's a break too!!

xx

Answer 2

Awwwwwww your Dad is just being Dad and grand-dad. He's protective of you and his grand child. I'm sure he'll get over it as soon as he sees his grandson actually 'loving' to go to "big boy school". Give him time. Have him go with you to take him (once your son stops crying when you leave). However if he doesn't stop crying when you leave (usually they stop after 3 weeks tops) then move him to another one. There's something there that he doesn't like at all. As for your Dad...thank him for being concerned and remind him that you love your son more than life itself but feel he needs to interact with other kids his own age. Just being a Dad. Also let him know that it hurts you for him to accuse you of wanting to get rid of him. Tsk tsk.

Answer 3

Have a quiet word with the teachers about how long the crying lasts, it is possibly as someone said just for your benefit. If he settles quickly and plays well don't worry we are sociable creatures and I'm sure your son is fine.

If they do drawings or painting ask your son to do one for grandad, he may mellow a bit if he receives his nursery masterpiece.

I have just had my 3 year old upset because he's NOT in nursery today.

Answer 4

it's so important for children to get used to leaving their mum and interacting with other children before having to go to school!

i've seen it so many times, where children aged four start school and they've never ever left their mums before, they're crying and screaming at the school gates (thats not to say all the crying children haven't gone to playschool, but on average, if they've never got used to leaving their parents they're going to find it much harder!)

my son started playschool when he turned three in May, he was upset at first but now he absolutely loves it! i only did 1 day a week to start with, but now he's doing 2.5 days a week!

introduce him to it gradually and also the best thing you can do is tell him before you go in "mummy is going to give you a kiss and a cuddle and then i'm going to go" then when you get in, do just that and leave, you mustn't stay there trying to calm him or he'll do it more and more everyday because he'll know 'if i cry, mummy will stay'

my mother in-law was the same, but not because of the same reasons as your father, she just thought it was a waste of money (it wasn't funded until after the summer holidays)

To be honest my mother in-law has so many opinions on what i do with my three children, she's always making comments about almost everything and although it's annoying i do try hard not to start arguing with her, i always keep calm and say "i appreciate your opinion, but i think i will just continue to do it my way" with your dad, he is probably quite old fashioned and doesn't realise the benifits of playschool, tell him how it will help your son in so many ways, getting used to leaving you before starting school, giving him a change of scenery, different toys to play with and most importantly he is able to play with different children!

also explain that the staff are fully trained and that there are (usually) cameras at playgroups so no harm will come to his grand-child.

He is obviously worried and doing it because he cares not because he wants to be annoying, but at the end of the day YOUR his mother and you do things your way.

Answer 5

I think you're right to introduce him to other children so when he does start school, He'll know friends form the play group and it won't be such a big shock for him. Is your dad not thinking about you? It must be really upsetting to see your son cry, especially when your trying to get him a leg up in life. I really feel for you.

Answer 6

Tell your dad to mind his own business. Im sure you delight in and love your child as much as i do mine. My son went to nursery at 6 months due to fiscal and work needs. He has come on leaps and bounds socially, physically and mentally!

Answer 7

nope i agree kids need to be play with other kids its important for there development

keep sending your son

i had my daughter in play group since she was 18 months old, she is now almost 7 and she is a happy confident lil girl..

p.s i also done it to get a break, us parents need a break,

Answer 8

I disagree with him. You have to make sure he soicalizes with other children before he goes to pre-k or kindergarten. Hope it all works out.

Answer 9

Sometimes you need time to yourself, and your child needs interaction with others his age.

Answer 10

tell him he's your child not his & that you are developing social skills for your child...stick up for yourself girl...sometimes parents need a telling off you know lol they may not like it but thats tuff titty