My husbands belonged to a poor family. After getting the job he has done a lot for his family like sisters marriage, made house, and a lot more expensive things. His brother’s only intension is to extract money form him. After getting married we moved to USA.He continued to sending money .Just because of this we fight most of the time. Then I took his best friend’s help. He then convinced my hobby to send a fixed amount of money for his family. His family got too much furious seeing this changing in my husband. But he is very kindhearted and always thinks +vely whatever his family says to him. They always put pressure on him to send money to make more houses, car etc.His family members started talking rubbish against my family and he believes that. If I try to defend my family then it becomes worse. His family members say me lots of bad things but never argue. I respect them always. But at least my husband should understand me what they are. Please suggest how to convince him.
2007-09-13 23:10:29 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Sorry, but it sounds like you may be in a 'situation of abuse'. Do you think they will ever change?
You must make up your own mind whether you want to keep tolerating this.
Unfortunately, you don't say whether you can support yourself, or if you get divorced, whether you could be deported from the USA.
These and other big questions need to be investigated in a sane, calm and rational way, so that if you are forced to leave in a hurry, you are not overloaded emotionally or financially, or surprised by events outside your control. Some questions may need legal advice, such as your ability to stay in the USA (especially with the current 'political climate'), if that is what you want.
You don't say whether you have discussed this with your husband. His best friend doesn't sound very sympathetic to your story, if he only convinced him to send more money. If you haven't yet discussed it, you need to bring it up carefully and sensitively.
If you have, and you have asked here, then you need to consider what will happen if the marriage shows signs of coming to an end.
In some cultures, what he is doing is only what his mother trained him to do. In Modern Western European cultures, such as the USA, while his behaviour is admirable, he should consider the needs of his own nuclear family first, especially if his relatives back home are just using him as a cash cow for unnecessary luxuries.
2007-09-13 23:22:19 · answer #1 · answered by fooles.troupe 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not know. Really, it sounds like your husbands honor belongs with his family, and I think you knew that before you got married. Now you are having a hard time dealing with it.
A lot of families are close knit, and it is hard for the spouses to deal with this, they are close knit becuase of religion or they just want to do everything for them while they can't see them.
It must be terrible for your husband to not see his family, I suggest you talk to your husband, and don't holler, don't kick, don't scream, and do not blame, communicate!
You need to settle this before it festers into something bigger and ruins your marriage. I am sure your husband does not want that to happen and neither do you, you are upset, you told us, now please tell him.
2007-09-13 23:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by carriegreen13 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you talk with your husband with love and tell about yours feeling for his and his family members also. if you have children you can suggest for children future and value of money for coming life. you can take help from your family members and suggest them they do not argue with them.
2007-09-13 23:29:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to put his family's loyalty to the test.....ask them for a bunch of money.
2007-09-14 01:07:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can give him examples by telling the stories and this is the only way to come to the right path.
2007-09-13 23:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by sonu 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there is onle solution and that is to get out of your relationship this only will end up in divorce
2007-09-13 23:14:02 · answer #6 · answered by treatau 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell your hubby to pick one?
2007-09-13 23:19:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋