we have been together 2 years - hes been seperated nearly 4,, Ex not in a hurry although with someone who is also seperated and not in a hurry to divorce but i still dont feel like a 'proper ' partner!! I have printed all papers from local court website and have found out costs shall i pass them to him,, We are very happy together but fed up with this 'oh he can pay, she can pay slack attitude- LETS MOVE ON!Dont they want to divorce? does he love me as much as her? they had 3 kids? although now in different countries.Last time he mentioned it she accused me of pushing issue.Although he denied this it was true... HELP?
Additional Details
23 hours ago
I not too bothered at mo about marrying but its gets to me that he has a wife although i feel like his wife!!
2007-09-13 22:43:38 · 10 answers · asked by Australia 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I this this will bring up a lot of different points of view and so i don't think there is a right and wrong answer.
Some would see this as a lack of commitment to you in that he is making no moves to getting divorce, it could be said he still has a small part of him thinking there's a tiny chance of going back.
Others will say it is because he has gone through a traumatic time with the break and doesn't want to go through a divorce just yet while he's still feeling a little sore.
Then there's some who will see it as not the most important thing right now, it can be done when he's getting around to thinking about getting married again which is no time soon.
I could go on, there's many different reasons for and against this argument it really is something you need to think about from your point of view and what YOU want to happen.
If your not happy with the current situation and him not wanting to sort it out at this time then you need to find someone else but you have to consider where he is right now in his life and can you give him a little slack until he is ready?
Your probably feeling a little insecure with the relationship and him getting divorced would help resolve this, it would be a sign of commitment to an extent but pushing and pushing him will only make him dig his heals in.
Only you can decide this one.
2007-09-13 23:01:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I certainly understand what you mean. I have news for you, however, she will always be considered his wife because they have children together. He will always have contact with her, an put her and the children's needs first. That what men do when they have children with someone.
My ex had a bit#h who took him for everything, but he treated her like gold because she was the mother of his children. His family even included her in Christmas and sent her birthday cards,etc. I was with him longer,and treated him better, but I still felt like the outsider!!!
I just wanted you to know that things won't change that much just because they are divorced, as long as they have children together. You will always be the other woman, especially at family functions such as birthdays and weddings.
2007-09-13 22:52:20 · answer #2 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's inflicting too lots soreness for you, son't situation approximately what he wanted. you in basic terms have lots time to stay a chuffed existence and in the journey that your substantial different isn't likely to help you reside a reliable existence, particularly after 17 years of being with one yet another. circulate on and start up living a chuffed existence. you will desire to discover a activity which will take afterward once you start up getting dissatisfied. Carpe Diem. you may no longer administration the previous yet you additionally could make your destiny. do no longer waste time. sturdy luck
2017-01-02 04:42:51 · answer #3 · answered by kickliter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're better off sitting down with him and asking him what his plans are for a divorce?
see what his answer is before you start reacting,he must love you if he's been with you for 2 years but don't try and compare yourself to his ex wife as you'll only run yourself around in circles doing that! what they had is obviously over and he's with you now,so stop worrying and be happy.
2007-09-13 23:15:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it was me i would give him the papers and ask him to think about the whole picture (that should include how you feel about the situation) give him a bit of time to think things over (men need to mull over things) and then gently bring the subject back up explaining to him how its making you feel and if that doesnt work then get him to sit down and explain to you why he wont get divorced, he probably doesnt have any really reason why and any reasons he does give you, you should be able to counter back.
2007-09-13 23:49:13 · answer #5 · answered by leambi 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk about it tell him how you feel. If your unhappy why don't use just pay. Get your partner to fill out the forms and send them to his ex. Why still be married if they are not together?
2007-09-13 22:53:57 · answer #6 · answered by sonia h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't push him into it, and definitely don't show him the application forms!! He'll dump you for trying to run his life.
Ask him, informally, if he's ever going to get divorced - but don't over react, regardless of the answer.
2007-09-13 22:47:46 · answer #7 · answered by mark 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
he doesnt mplan to marry you if he has not divorced his wife there must be issues he still has with her and feelings
2007-09-13 23:16:18 · answer #8 · answered by treatau 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious??? Leave his ***! Take a stand and let him know it is either you or her. Don't put up with this. If he truly loved you he'd divorce the "ex"
2007-09-13 22:47:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
Don't waste good paper on him.
2007-09-14 01:14:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋