my girlfriend family have a bad reputation in society.They are three sister and two brother my girlfrnd is the younger sister my beloved have two boyfrnd in the age of 14 to 18 age because her both sister doing the same thing but after my contact with her what i feel she is completely changed she do everything i said and i love her from last 4yrs in this period she donot do anything which hurts me with lots of ups and downs in our relationship our love continues,my mother too much hate there family and not even my frnd support me to marry her but she loves me too much she said that whatever she done in past because she was not aware and not teached by anyone to dont do this what can i do whether i leave her or accept her she also promise that after our marraige she didnot have any relation with there family what can i do pls pls pls help me.........
2007-09-13 22:18:15 · 7 answers · asked by djgoutam78 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
How much stress can you and your girlfriend handle?
From my own personal experience, the in-laws always have a way of starting up a godd old fashion argument, EVERY day. Don't think for a moment that you can live within driving distance from either family, either. I tried and they always showed up to spy and butt in.
The best solution I had was to move far far away. At least the "in-face" contact wasn't there, however, my mother-in-law, bless her nosy intrusive soul, still managed to get under my husbands skin through phone calls and letters. I tired to get him to just not talk about our marriage or financial situation to her, but he did anyway and she always had an answer, "Told you not to marry her!."
The in-laws were not the cause of our divorce after only 8 years, however, they sure contributed to at least 90% of our arguments. I can honestly say it was not a happy marriage, but I loved him and he loved me, in the beginning.
You and she must be extremely strong in order to make it work. You and she must be able to tell each of your nosy family memebers to butt out on a regular basis. It's you and her married, not to them. Are the two of you strong enough?
The biggest problem I had with my husband was that he was always agreeing with his mom and telling me "well, mom said you should do tis or that". I would get angry and tell him it's not of his mom's business what I do and he had better start agreeing with me or disagreeing with me on his own without always having "mom says".
When I told her to butt out, he got angry with me! It was just too much, so when our real problems started with the marriage, there was just too much tension there to save it.
Love wasn't enough for my husband and I. He needed a backbone and I needed patience. Neither one of us got either.
2007-09-13 22:40:04 · answer #1 · answered by peggy m 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How about considering couples counseling BEFORE you decide to get married? Speaking from experience, if you have already had "lots of ups and downs" in your relationship and only been together for 4 years... that's not something you base a marriage on or want to continue. Counseling may provide a way for the two of you to be stronger as a family unit. If the family and friends see you are being smart and responsible about this union, they may be more accepting and much more supportive.
2007-09-13 23:03:39 · answer #2 · answered by Jamie C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey everyone makes mistakes ... she's changed ... give her a break she's needs a chance to be better and to better her life... you gave her that for 4 years. Have faith in your relationship.... as for her family .. you not marrying her family are you???? why should she pay a price for happiness because of her family. You two stand together in love and you will conquer all.... that's how you will earn the respect from your mother and her family. Good luck and hope hope its works out....
2007-09-13 22:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by curious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dear Friend ,
It doesn't matter what ur family , friends or other people think about her , only thing that matters in this type of relation is what u thinks .......
Everyone has a past & i m quite sure even u would have it ,
but l;ife is not lived in past but in present , so just trust her and close your eyes and ask this question to yourself . You would get the correct answer coz our heart never lies....
Best of luck n take care
Pls tell ur decision to me also
2007-09-13 22:49:59 · answer #4 · answered by Panku 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way that can work is if you move far away from either family. Your family will always be criticizing her, and her family will always be a thorn in your side. She will be so stressed and torn, and you will be tortured by your family and the pain they will cause her.
2007-09-13 22:57:31 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u think she is changed than i dont think u should have any problem to marry her people r there to talk and they wil do their job but just coz people r saying u cant leave your love so dont think about anyone and go for her if she is changed accept her
2007-09-13 22:28:50 · answer #6 · answered by S S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever heard of PERIODS???? JEEZ WITH THE RUN ON SENTENCE ALREADY! And what in the heck was the question?
2007-09-17 05:52:14 · answer #7 · answered by Waterwitch E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋