My family and boyfriend were invited to a wedding. Mom had too much wine to drink and came on to my boyfriend, putting her hand down his pants so he got hard, sat on his lap and said I love you Ryan, I love you.
I got him away. But next thing I go away and she has got him drunk, buying him drinks. I go home and find them in bed together. Both naked, her on top of him. I don't drink. He remembers and says he is sorry. Mom has no recollection of it and says I am making it up. She often does and says things and has no recollection of it the next day.She has stopped drinking now but I have her granddaughter on the way and want her to be a good role model for her. What can I do? I am 30. My boyfriend is 32 and she is 65.
2007-09-13 21:05:15 · 22 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Well, when your mum obviously has a drunk problem and has a very poor behaviour due to the effect of the alcohol, how do you explain and try and understand YOUR boyfriend's attitude??
Should not your question be: Should I forgive my BOYFRIEND???
The way I see it, HE is half her age. He is fit. You never mentioned that HE had a drink problem, so how come he's been taken ADVANTAGE of????
Yes, your mum has some work to do on herself. No question of that.
But, are you going to blindly put all the blame on her and not have a little CHAT with your UNRESPONSIBLE and IDIOT of a boyfriend? Soon to be father???
2007-09-13 22:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, who is the father of your baby? Is it the same boyfriend?
Obviously, they have been disrespectful to you...was there no consequence for him?
I am confused, as this is definitely not a normal thing.
So what do you think you should do? Just forgive and forget?
I suggest, family separation may be in order... I mean if the family dynamics don't work.... why should you continue on with dysfunctional family behaviour which isn't working. Sounds like mom and boyfriend have never accepted responsibly to begin with so why do you allow them in your life? Exposing your child in this will only allow dysfunction.
It is okay in my mind to say NO MORE... and not allow a next time.
Remember... you only get what you allow. Advice mom to seek counselling... but you are not responsible for her problem... leave that to her.
Be tough... you will be a mom soon. Set a standard and moral behaviour, this will go a long way to set boundaries and consequences. And never ever let anyone disrespect you again. You are worth more. Aren't you?
2007-09-13 21:38:50 · answer #2 · answered by Say 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
D/LIANE
Plain simple-- no forgiving none. It is more of getting ur act together. U dont need this type of mother and u definitely dont want this type of man who will have sex with 65. And u speak to any drunkard-- they know what they are doing-- but take shelter saying they did it becos they were drunk.
Anyhow, if u can live on ur own, is the best-- for at least you will buy ur peace, get hold of urself and above all a life for the baby u have-- which will be far away from the ppl who are assoicated with.
2007-09-13 23:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by TROUBLESHOOTERKILLROY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh that is totally disgusting. She has no morals and drinking is not an excuse. I'm sorry dear but I have gotten drunk off my -ss and I always remember the next day what I have done. I think this is her lame excuse, and she is 65? You need to distance yourself from this woman for hurting you in this way. This will most likely destroy your relationship with your baby's father and your baby doesn't deserve this. This woman doesn't even deserve to have her granddaughter in her life but that it totally up to you.
2007-09-13 21:18:38 · answer #4 · answered by marie s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, I am so sorry for you , you poor thing. She will never be a good role model for her, & if you are still with Ryan you are in dire need of somewhere else to be. I forgave my Mom for basically the same thing, & how does she thank me she did it again, she confessed that last year, but she has a mental illness, your Mom may have one too. They often self medicate ie drinking. I'm sorry but I think I would have to stay away from both of them for awhile.
2007-09-13 21:18:03 · answer #5 · answered by thepeacelover01 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Are you serious? If this is for real…
You question if you should forgive your mother, but not one word about rather or not you should forgive Boyfriend? And it kind of sounds like maybe you did forgive him. Do you really believe she forced him to get drunk with her (after this other thing occurred, so he should have immediately walked away from her since he knew what she was like) to the point that he was so incapacitated, he was completely unable to fight off her sexual advances? I’m not buying that, and if you do, then Lord help you. Expect him to cheat again. Of course, I’m sure it won’t be his fault.
2007-09-14 01:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by kp 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If your boyfriend loved you he would have avoided your mom the second she came onto him, kick him to the curb. Your mom was an idiot and you know how she is, find a guy that doesn't mess around with your mom. I mean come on., I wouldn't rely on a woman like that as a role model for my child, ever.
2007-09-13 21:32:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Break up with your boyfriend. Don't tolerate this kind of behavior from your mother. Tell her she needs to stop drinking if you are going to have a relationship. Not a lot of room for alternatives here.
2007-09-13 21:13:20 · answer #8 · answered by digidoodle 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Well I'm glad your mom has stopped drinking, thank god. I hope she stays that way, and as far as your boyfriend, it takes two, and he is just as guilty as she is. I wouldn't trust him. Find someone else. I only hope your mom has realized that she made a huge mistake, and I really hope she doesn't let it happen again.
2007-09-14 00:28:58 · answer #9 · answered by bostonchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, BREAK UP WITH THE BOYFRIEND. Secondly, this is terrible, ask yourself if you're really willing to cut out the person who raised you as a child and has cared for you all your life. It's you choice.
2007-09-13 21:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋