My parents come from a culture that's very community/family-based but I instead seem to be the opposite. I prefer quiet nights at home, small groups and individual attention. No one else in my family seems to mind a house crowded full of guests but for me it drives me crazy. I prefer the space and the quiet-ness. As a result, my entire family thinks I'm this mean cold-hearted person. Am I in the wrong here? Should I try to be more open?
2007-09-13 19:06:50 · 14 answers · asked by ohsnap 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Not at all wrong, and they should respect your wish for solitude. Not unless you absolutely abhor meeting your relatives, even for short visits. If that is the case, then something might be wrong with you.
But if you have no trouble socializing when the occasion calls for it, and just prefers solitude more than they do, then that I think is perfectly normal.
2007-09-13 19:26:17 · answer #1 · answered by Monique 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
you are absolutely not in the wrong. You perfer what you prefer. As long as you're not lonely, wallowing in misery, bored, and depressed... because you're alone.
It's perfectly okay for you to enjoy more intimate gatherings, or just the pleasure of quiet solitude. It's very sad that your family interprets this as you being coldhearted and mean.
That indicates to me that your appreciation of quiet alone-time is something that began early in your life, and because of this, you may not have developed good methods of communicating openly with your family members. I am not trying to be insulting here, truly.
Or perhaps they're not very perceptive or in tune to who you really are, as a person.
either way.. try to explain to those members of your family (are you talking immediate family here, or extended family, like cousins, inlaws,, yadda yadda?) that you love them dearly, but you simply do not enjoy being in the midst of chaos.
2007-09-13 19:10:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I can see WHY you'd rather be alone: crowds drive some people crazy... all the gossiping, etc., and expecting you to be the same... but it's also behavior large families just don't get. They MAY see it as a silent message that you are with holding your love for your family members themselves. Let them know that's not true.... you just don't feel comfortable in big groups... then play it by ear as what to say next. You, me, and everyone else is entitled to privacy... Good luck.
2007-09-13 19:24:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
I'm the same way and I don't think I'm a freak at all. Some people just happen to be more solitary than others. One thing that's nice about being like that is that you don't need others to entertain you because you can find your own forms of entertainment. People like us might be alone but we are never lonely.
2007-09-13 19:11:48 · answer #4 · answered by RoVale 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you aren't wrong. Individuality makes us what we are. If you prefer less people than that is your make up as an individual. Don't worry about what others think. Those that are close to you know how you feel.
2007-09-13 19:15:55 · answer #5 · answered by uphill climb 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No you shouldn't even attempt to change if you are happy. As a matter of fact, perhaps you should even take your own family a "few at a time" rather than suffering through long family get-togethers. It sounds like you are an adult, you can give yourself permission to act like one and do whatever you like.
2007-09-14 05:49:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Although they say,"No man is an island". You cant help it. We need time for ourselves alone. To ponder , wonder , enjoy being alone.
yes, sometimes you need some space , to relax, feed your mind and to know more about yourself.
Go to a far away place or vacation , that when you come back you are more revitalize to be with them because you had enough time being w/ you alone
Good Luck!
2007-09-13 22:54:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am exactly like that. Nothing wrong with it and nothing wrong with family gatherings, but make sure it's only about once a year. More than that is stressful.
2007-09-13 21:17:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong. I think you should try to be more open in explaining how you feel to your family. Describe to them in a way that they can understand how you feel, and why you feel that way. From your brief description of the way you feel it does not sound as if you have any hard feelings towards your family.
2007-09-13 19:12:04 · answer #9 · answered by Paul Dayton 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
No, they're wrong for thinking that everyone should be fine in large groups.
Extroverts can be a real pain in the a** sometimes.
2007-09-13 19:13:09 · answer #10 · answered by bestonnet_00 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋