I am so mad! I left town for a business trip and made it quite clear to my 17 yr old daughter, no parties, no boys in the house while I'm gone. I came home today to find my home completely destroyed and many items stolen. Oh yeah, big BIG party. The carpets are filthy, the floors are stained with pen ink, there are 3 holes that were punched in my walls, broken chairs, my brand new dining table scratched up. I accidently left my wedding set at home because I had put lotion on my hands and was in a rush and it was stolen. My daughter says she has no idea who did it. I'm ready to call the police and report this incident but have no names. She is grounded until my property shows up. Any parents ever have a problem like this with their kids? Is it best to just put them on lockdown until they're old enough to act responsibly? I cant even believe this happened. She's usually such a good kid.
2007-09-13 16:50:57 · 9 answers · asked by ♥Xty♥ 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If she's usually a good kid, it could have been that she was taken advantage of, we've all heard the story of the kid who wants to have a small party that turns into a huge party where people she doesn't even know come into the home, the home gets trashed and things get stolen! This is a situation that could have been out of your daughters control.
I think you should get the police involved if you haven't already. Your daughter may not be able to tell you all the names of the people who were at the party.
Grounding your daughter until the property is returned isn't very good, since it may never be returned. Putting her on 'lock down' until she is 18 (and then you legally cannot do this) is not really very realistic either. Talk to your daughter without anger.
2007-09-13 17:01:05 · answer #1 · answered by skunk pie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
even good kids can make mistakes. First off, she needs to learn that all mistakes have consequences. Grounding her is a start, but make cleaning up and making necessary repairs her responsibility. That may mean getting a job to pay for major damages. Limit her freedom a little bit, because the friends she is hanging around obviously aren't a good influence if they steal and trash homes. You need to show that you are serious when you tell her not to do something, but at the same time don't be cruel or too hard on her. Let her know you still love her, but you're in charge
2007-09-13 17:05:14 · answer #2 · answered by Megan 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
While she shouldn't have had the party and should be grounded for a while, keeping her grounded untill the wedding sets shows up is unfair because she may not know who has it. A trick my parents used with me is they actually hires a babysitter when I was 16, and I never had univited guests over again after that. What myneighbor does is sets up web cam in every room of her home and informs her son that while she is away she will be checking the cams. If the cams are turned off, or if she sees behavior that he shouldn't be doing, she calls a relative to check on him.
2007-09-13 17:02:37 · answer #3 · answered by MysteryKiss 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my god...that is soo frustrating...I would never do that unless my parents let me or I go to my friends house. I know that I should never mess up with my mom. She would defenitly kick me out of the house and go over my aunt's place for a couple of days. hopefully they did not steal your jewelries cuz that would be hella expensive. Lockdown is not good. On the contrary, she should have more responsability to get life experience. She said she had no idea but her friends might know. Just show her your deception and tell her that you can't trust her anymore. If she is a good kid, she would feel guilty and she will try to gain your trust once again.
2007-09-13 17:44:25 · answer #4 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have your daughter... and hopefully as many of her friends as possible... clean the place up. Call a conference with the parents of her friends as well and explain what all happened. They should be every bit as outraged.
Get the rest of the place repaired and keep the receipts.
Your daughter needs to work off this expense, and preferably, her friends need to be chipping in as well.
This is an excellent learning experience... this is all about consequences and taking responsibility.
The theft and vandalism probably needs to be reported to the police to collect homeowner's insurance.
2007-09-13 18:04:18 · answer #5 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From a mom who has to re-place her front door because a 'friend' of my daughters kicked it in. I say... CALL THE COPS.!!!
Let your daughter know that you will not put up with letting her get away with destroying YOUR house.
She might be a good kid but the people that she is bringing into your house are NOT...
2007-09-13 17:49:31 · answer #6 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd have her grounded as the minimum punishment. But the police should have a talk with her too since she was witness where a theft was committed.
I'd have the police investigate the wedding set theft.
2007-09-14 00:36:27 · answer #7 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm really sorry that happened. But take it from a 17 year old who is also "usually a good kid" : you keep her locked down forever, and you will regret it. She will rebel. However, I might file a police report.
2007-09-13 17:07:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she is usually a good kid, there is a chance she really didn't do it! I would deffinatly call the police!
2007-09-13 16:55:35 · answer #9 · answered by Seriously though... 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋