What do you do when the first family of the church is out of order?

Question

What do we do when the children of the first family is out of order and nothing is being said to them?They can pretty much do what they want to do and say what they want to say.The mother of the children does not try to make them obey or respect others.What do we do? Only spiritual people answer only rude and crudeness will be reported, thanks!!!

Answer 1

all this according to the word of God

first pray for them....(pray for those that curse you, bless those that spitefull use you)

go to a brother that has caused in offence against you, if not received take another brother with you, if still not received, take before group/church...if still not. cast them off as your brother

in all the brother terms i used i mean the parents, not the children

Answer 2

Are you seriously threatening to report someone for being rude or crude when what you are saying is extremely out of order. First of all what is a first family we are all brothers and sisters in Christ. If you don't believe we are all equal than the question here is not what to do to misbehaving children, the question here is are you at the right church. After you establish that then you truly need to evaluate if the situation is as bad as you think or are you just an old timer who doesn't want any noise at church? Church is not outlined in the bible. By the way "spiritual people" is a clear indicator that you are probably not at the right church. Being spiritual has nothing to do with believing that Jesus Christ is the true Son of God and that he died for us on the cross. The church is out of order not the children.

Answer 3

This is definitely a complex issue. Is it alright to scold other people's children?

(Also, I'm assuming that the issue is that the children are disrupting services. If they're acting up during the rest of the week, it's their parents' responsibility.)

If there are other like-minded people in your church, you may want to get together one or two and confront the parents about it. If they still refuse, and if the children are disrupting services, they need to be scolded by whoever catches them at it.

Do some research on 'inter-church conflict' for more ideas.

Answer 4

I assume you mean the family of the pastor?

You should speak with the pastor, alone, and explain your concerns. Explain that he is being looked to for an example in how to raise a family, and that his children are expected to set an example for others in their peer groups. Recognize that filling the dual role of spiritual leader of the community, and father of a family is, indeed, very trying, and offer to provide whatever support he needs to fulfill both obligations.

If that doesn't work, speak with him again, but with a couple of elders, deacons or other influential parishioners who share your concerns by your side. And repeat the same support, concern and offer of assistance.

If that still doesn't work, then perhaps your pastor should shift his focus on getting his family in good order, so that he can later help provide guidance for the rest of the congregation as they try to get their families in order.

Answer 5

Ask the Lord to lead and guide you in seeing them the way HE sees them and if you are truly discontent with this chaos; you might ask the Lord how to pray for them?
We have been subjected to such a family in a church group but they weren't the pastor's family, yet in leadership. It was miserable for everyone. We moved and of course began a different congregation. As far as I know, they are still in leadership and no one has ever dealt with the problem.
It is NOT an example of GOOD leadership. I think God is very clear in 1 Timothy 3:12..., and if you look up the word "deacon", it means simply "servant". So those who SERVE in leadership truly should be examples.., then, 1 Timothy 3: 4-5; and again, this is NOT a special "office" as some denominations specify, but the SAME word as an OLDER WISE SAINT approved and appointed to leadership in a congregation.
After prayer and seemly no solution, you might think of going where you are not distracted.

Answer 6

That's a really tough one! Does your church have elders & deacons too, or is it just the pastor in charge? If there are elders and deacons too, then maybe you could start by going to them and telling them that the childrens' behavior in church(do not specify which children yet) is getting disrespectful and could it be addressed from the pulpit?

Like, "Since we are supposed to worship in a manner that is decently and in order, we ask that you train and teach your children this. Please be respectful to all members and discipline your children as needed."

This would be worth a try. Give them a chance to get the message. Then, if need be, you may have to call them on their behavior. When you actually witness them acting up, say to them, "We don't do that!" or " I think you need to stop that and go find your mommy".

If they get mad, then that is really on them not you. As long as you aren't mean to the child when you say it, then you know you are okay. The Bible tells us to "train a child up in the way he should go, and when he is old, he will not depart from it."

If they confront you about getting on to their child, I would quote this scripture and tell them you are doing it in all Christian love and humility.

Good luck!

Answer 7

I don't know. I have never met a first family of a church. I have friends of many religions and none of them have ever mentioned such a church position. I am Catholic and I have never heard or met a first family. No disrespect for your choice of worship, but what constitutes a first family? Volunteer work, financial contributions, did they found the church? I think they should have to behave in a reverent manner like the rest of us, especially since they are "special".

Answer 8

What do you mean by "first family?" Are you referring to the pastor's family? I would talk to the pastor & the wife...maybe they don't realize what their kids are doing behind their backs?

My dad is a retired United Methodist Pastor & back when I was a kid the youth leader watched me like a hawk. She would have her young daughters SPY on my best friend & me & they'd go back & tell our youth leader what we talked about! Once, my friend & I were passing a note about the guy that my friend liked (who was also part of the youth group) & the youth leader caught us & read the note out loud to the group! It was so embarrassing! To this day I still don't know why that woman had it out for me.

She wasn't the only one, either...there were a few other staff members who seemed to treat me unfairly when I was a kid. I bring all this up, just to make the point that kids will be kids despite who their parents are. Pastors kids seem to be held to a higher standard than other kids. Are your pastors kids really being out of line, or are they just not acting how you think pastors kids should act?

If they are lil terrors, though, I'd definitely talk to their parents.

Answer 9

The phrase "first family" is commonly used in the United Pentecostal/Apostolic Church. If you are UPC, get used to it. In that religion, the rules only apply to the congregation, not to the ministry. The ministry and their friends and family can say and do whatever they want, and everyone else has to tow the line and pay their tithes or else be threatened with eternal damnation. That religion will never change, so if you're in it, put up with it or get out. I recommend getting out. I have never regretted leaving.

If you're not UPC and you're in some other church, pray about what is happening, pray for the family and pray for God's will for your life. Maybe He is calling you to pray, and/or maybe He is you to go somewhere else.

Church is supposed to be a haven and rest for God's people, and it's a place to be encouraged and taught God's Word. It's not supposed to be a source of stress, frustration and backbiting. The fact that you call your pastor's family "the first family" makes me think you are involved in a very controlling, self-righteous religion, in which case God is definitely calling you out of it.

The true church of God is not perfect, but it reflects His unconditional love to believers and non-believers alike, and it's a place of peace. I pray God's best for you. Seek Him first.

Answer 10

I'd say the best thing to do is worry about yourself and try to make sure that you are doing the best you can. Taking on the responsibility of worrying about others' behavior is a burden you should not bear. Jesus loved the little children, called them to Him, and blessed them.