Do you agree that most people do not have many relationships they have one relationship with many people?

Question

In the sense that the issues you have in one relationship are the same issues and challenges you have in all relationships?

Answer 1

I think a person could keep having the same issue because those are their issues they haven't dealt with (for example, always feeling jealous). Still, a relationship takes two people and the other person could contribute to issues in a relationship as well, issues that would be non-existent with a different person.

Answer 2

Hi,
If the same issues repeat themselves in all relationships or in a succession of relationships, it is likely this has more to do with the person concerned than the actual relationship. When patterns repeat themselves, they're not learning from lessons in the past. They're just inviting the same kind of situation or maybe they keep being attracted to the same kind of person over and over again. This could be a habit they've unconsciously got themselves into or it is a comfortable rut they don't really want to get out of. If for instance a person always forms relationships with 'domineering types' then complains because their partner won't let them think for themselves, perhaps it's because secretly they hate making decisions and would rather leave it for someone else then if the other person makes the wrong decision, they can blame them for it ... and so it goes on!!!!
There are so many different types of relationships in our lives. Romance, friendship, working relationships, social acquaintances. In my life these are all different. In longterm relationships, issues that occur need to be dealt with for the couple/partnership to move on. All the relationships in my life present different types of challenges or more importantly challenge me to be a bit different as I grow older. For instance I seem to be taking on more responsibility and playing a more central role in community life when my instinct drives me to hide in the background! But in playing a leading role I am discovering more things about myself and my relationships.
Polly

Answer 3

I`m not sure but, a relationship is more than just the one person and every one brings all sorts good and not so good into the relationship. I suppose its the depth of the relationship in question. If you experience the same issues in various relationships then its time to look inward for some personal development. I say this because the prominent factor in any relationship is the self.

Answer 4

I think this is not totally true.

Since issues you have with one person may not be relevant in context of the other person. Simply because the first person was selfish while the second person is genuine and trustworthy and even loves you selflessly.

So issues you have with one person lose their importance simply because you got a better person in your second relationship. You still may have some issues with the second person since the world is not 100 % perfect but they will be of different kind and easier to resolve without much pain or suffering since the person is kind and loves you selflessly.

So i can not totally agree with "the issues you have in one relationship are the same issues and challenges you have in all relationships". In fact only a very small fraction of issues may be common and hence I have to mostly disagree with this statement. Simply because the people involved in different relationship are different and of different kind.

The fist person might have tried to swindle you and use you while the next one might love you and make your life happier and better. So the statement you have made is not universally true.

Only if you run into same kind of person again and again, who is usaully selfish and tries to take advantage of you and use you then your statement will seem to be true.

But it may not be the case always ! Experience is a big teacher. Life is a big teacher.

Advice : If you have had a painful relationship or friendship with one selfish individual then break up if you have not already broken up and in future avoid relationships with such individuals. They can be found to be of similar kind or similar mentality through their traits and their behavior and interactions. >>> They will tend to behave in similar way with common underlying traits even if they use differnt words, statements and try to interact and behave differently. You will know, with small interaction their traits are mostly similar. Avoid them and wait and look for better person.

This is a proven way to avoid pitfalls in future relationships.
Even if wait seems to be long, i would suggest it is better to wait and avoid hardships of painful relationships.

Do not compromise if you find that the other person is having same traits as the one due to which painful issues came up.
When you want to say "No" do not say "Yes" to the relationship. This is the best way to avoid hardships and painful relationships once you have found out about the common traits of "selfish individuals". Sure way that will lead you to happy relationship.

Answer 5

Yes, many have one relationship with a succession. It's a sign of immaturity. They have learned nothing from preceding relationships. They have not changed, either. Which means they have not had a relationship at all. Repetitive issues and challenges signal repetitive behavior in either or both persons concerned. One such behavior is repeatedly seeking people with the same psychopathology for one's "relationship" - and that's usually the key to the particular immaturity of the seeker. But as GB Shaw said "when we learn something it feels as though we've lost something". Most people will not "lose" any habit, belief, or attitude, in order to learn. It is like a little death. Now, there's a thought to extend, even without hope of Heaven!

Answer 6

I totally agree with this. It's funny that you mention this, as a matter of fact, 'cause I was just having a conversation with a friend of mine about this very thing TODAY........

I think that whether your intentions are favorable or not, inevitably, you end up facing pretty much the same things in relationships. Once the ooey, gooey "I LOVE you" phase is over, you end up facing real-life issues like children, finances, death, taxes, and chores. But the tricky part is, are you going to realize that every relationship eventually turns out that way therefore you make a smart decision as to whom you'd like to "brave the storms" with, or are you going to just move on, break up, and repeat the same pattern, never realizing there's a pattern there at all?

Of course, every relationship dynamic is different, and you've got to go for what works for you, but ultimately, if you're with someone long enough, you'll go through the same things. It's how you deal with it that dictates the break in the cycle.

Answer 7

Hi Rena, I have only had two proper relationships.My first love was Beth,We shared many good times together.we were getting married date set and everything,a lovely child was soon to be born, but destiny was not mean,t to be.They both died from a rare illness. Just like that,this was one week before marriage.I do truly believe that if she was,n,t took away from me, i,m sure that we both would still be together.My most recent Girlfriend Sarah, Now this situation is so very different.The first two years were very good, but i was heart broken again.She betrayed me with my best friend.She ran off with him too.So i am all alone once again.But truthfully all relationships are different ,And it is true that people can carry baggage, through to the next relationship.But with re,plenteous love, can start the healing process again. for both persons involved. To clean the old wounds from each other.To be reborn in new beautiful love.

Answer 8

I disagree. People grow and change, situations change people. Maybe it's not like that for you because you have this fixed.mindset. You're constantly look for something that isn't real and when you don't find it in one guy you move to the next guy looking for this same "thing" in a different guy. A lot of women are like that. That's where sayings like, "all men are dogs" comes from.

If one continues to bring their old "baggage" into new relationships, they'll end up just like the old ones.

Answer 9

Different relationships with different types of people. Say there are 5 types of people. You've known hundreds, but they all fit into one of those five categories. So you've had five relationships. Some overlap so you could have five different relationships with slight derivations.

It is not a total thing though as you are proposing.

Answer 10

I'll disagree with this one.
Although you are the same person, each relationship is not only different, but calls on different facets of your character and personality.
I imagine that you can only have one relationship with yourself, like it or not--although you can change inwardly, by experience and happenstance, you are still the one person you know you'll go to sleep with and get up with.