How can I help her???PLZ REPLY?

Question

My best friend and I went through a rough patch Christian wise.
We both felt God wasnt important had serious doubts and the devil kept building. It got worse until I really couldnt take it anymore so I prayed and got into my bible. It helped so much and I feel like me again. It is amazing...my problem? My friend is where i was but it gets worse. She doesnt want to read the bible or pray or she does but it isnt a big deal to her if she doesnt. I am worried she has done some odd things like scrathing herself and idk what else. How can I help her? She said she doesnt want to talk about it and isnt ready but she wil come to me when she does but I fear it may take to long. I try to talk to her w/o shuffing God in her facer like he was shoved in mine but idk what else to do. I want her to feel as I do. I want to keep it up myself. Any advice? Please dont rub your athiesim in it if that is ur plan. PLease dont.I know God is real and if you dont believe it you wont have a happy ending.

She was a great christian like 1 yr ago I was in her position and she helped me see what I was missing and what I needed and I guess I really want to return the favor... I dont want to push her, I told her that,I dont want to end up being a preacher to her who only rubs God in your face so I know I need to pray for her and be there but isnt there anything else? I just love her so much I dont want to lose her to the devil. I can't let that happen. Does anyone understand? =/

The scratching thing was a one time thing she said but my point to it was she is doing worldly things. I think I convinced her to stop the scratching. That does have to do with family issues and for that she said she wants to see her counciller again.(which is what I plan to be someday) I am still a teenager and so is she if that helps. Plz dont judge us for our age,it doesnt matter.

*counselor

Answer 1

I hope my testimony can help you...
I was born a rabbinic Jew, and I was born into a family where we didn't speak of G-D. I had an uncle who was very religious in the rabbinic religion, and I idolized him. If not for him, I used to think, I would not have held onto my religion---as I said I used to think that way..Now, I know better.
When I was 16, I dated a woman whose mother and brother were "Hebrew Christians." It was the first time I ever heard of those things. I really did not know a thing about Jesus/Yeshua back then.
In college. my friends were all irreligious-not sure if they were atheists, agnostics or other, but they were not really spiritual for the most part. Although I had one room mate who was president of the Campus Crusade for Christ. Now, this was 1974-over 3 decades ago.
Michael was a strange character-not what you'd consider the typical spiritual type. He believed that an ice pic stabbed, a knife slashed, so he sharpened ice pics so they could do both...I couldn't believe that this man who was some Son of G-D actually was sending a dude like this to be the head of the Campus Crusade--a man who appeared one way to the public, but in the privacy of our dorm room, was like Charles Manson...
I had a chance, though, to read his books, hear his tapes, although I mistreated them when we had fights...but I know now, this was part of the plan...all of it is part of the plan, and Michael, as crazy as he was, was in my life for a reason...to truly start me on a Christ walk that lasted 30 years...but during that time I had a chance to look at the world, not from hindsight but from what was prophesied would happen.
I had bene physically and emotionally abused as a kid. I was in a hellish 1st marriage. I spent years in relationship and love addictions. Man, I was in a bad shape for a long, long time.
There was something though that kept me hanging on...something that kept nagging at me...and I know now it was the Hand of Jesus refusing to let me go.
I was born again, in a way I thought I would never be. I understand fully the meaning of salvation now. I have recovered from those addictions to the point where I am, at 54, back in college getting my Masters. I am divorced, and remarried to a great Christian woman...and we are both Messianic Jews.

Four years ago, I did not truly know how to pray except for the standard prayers. Today, I am the Online Intercessor for my congregation, and a Prayer Warrior for another congregation. I have come to see that those put in my path were put there as much for me to learn from them as I was put in their path for them to learn from me,.

You are able to see from your friend who you used to be, and that is something that will probably enable you to grow. It took me nearly 50 years to see the light, and 53 for me to truly understand it---so be patient, pray for your friend, and know that it is never too late.

I can;t recount all the stupid, childish things I used to do---and the anger, temper, I used to show at times. I can't count how many things I did that were stepping stones to where I am now, even if at one point I was not aware they would lead me here.

I dated an alcoholic who wa sinvolved as a singer in her church, which led me to go to a church where I learned more about the Books tying in than I ever thought possi ble--and it led me to an awareness I never realized I would have,

I have spent 15 days in jail for poor driving habits, and it was in jail that i first learned about Paul's journeys.

My addictions helped lead me into being a student, and helped me be admitted.

I have learned not to judge others, and to pray, to pray as hard as I can, and to trust that whatever happens in another's life is part of G-D's plan for them, and not for me to control. My family still does not believe as I do, and I have tried-sent them books, tapes, other things--I just have to let the pain of seeing them out of the spirit go...I need to do what is best for me, and be an example. As my wife says, "We may be the only Bible someone sees..." So, stay in the spirit, and keep living as you believe He wants you to---and trust Him...Pray to Him, serve Him, and know you won;t ever be Him....You can lead someone to the trough, but only they and He can decide if they will drink from it.
Don't judge her...show her who you are...and let it be if she decides to stay...it is not for us to determine that, and it is for us to love people in any event. Don't fall away and one day, if you have not already, you will feel something like you have never known in your life...and it will be a wonderful feeling...and that is when you know that you truly are enlightened...and all you can do is pray that others know that ligfht...and love them (you don't have to like them) even if they are not..
You grow stronger each day, so the atheist does not affect you, because you are aware He is your defense, you will not be moved...
I hope this helps you...Testimony always helps me.

Answer 2

Just as you see here, people have to make their own choices. It is sometimes hard to watch those we love do things that are dangerous and just as hard to discover they do not believe the same things we do. But all you can do is decide to be her friend, respect her choices or not. If she ever does show interest again, then you can help her spiritually. You might be able to tell her that, you aren't giving up on your pursuit of spirituality, and that you really wished she would resume with you. Then tell her that you've been praying for her and about it. After that if she is all disgusted and turned off you'll have to back off!

It's her choice ultimately, and in the meantime have some faith. She has her whole life to go out in the world and discover other religions and to find her way. You have found yours it may just be that you need to accept this.

As for her hurting herself, you might need to convince her to see a counselor or maybe consider telling her parents about it. Before you do either thing, make sure you have all the facts and get some advice yourself from a minister or school counselor or someone knowledgeable who can help you make a wise decision.

Answer 3

I'm more into 'answering' than 'asking' here on Y!A and, like you, some of my responses do get quite verbose.. However,... ... when I do post the occasional question, the respondent I am most likely to award the, albeit dubious, award of "Best Answer" to is the answer that I feel was the result of someone who took the time to proffer a 'thoughtful' answer to my query. That's the reason why I usually scroll to the bottom of the page of answers and work my way back up; for the more serious answers are usually the last ones posted. I've even been know to give a BA to a response that I disagreed with, - and only because I felt the effort given to 'create' that answer was more worthy of the distinction than than any one-liner posts I may happen to agree with. I do have a few pet peeves, though: I DO NOT LIKE COPY/PASTE ANSWERS: C/P excerpts within an answer are fine,.. but to offer just a C/Ped piece from, say, a WIki article is NOT an answer: It is plagiarism...:-)) 'TEXT SPEAK' AGRAV8S ME: Y!A is a Q&A forum, not a chat room. There is plenty of time on here to completely spell out the words to an answer. SPELLING COUNTS, - AND SYNTAX MATTERS: We all make mistakes, and that's okay,... ...but there is little excuse for the deplorable orthographics I frequently see displayed here on Y!A, - particularly when there is easy access to the 'Check Spelling' feature. LONG ANSWERS ARE NOT ALWAYS GOOD ANSWERS: I've found that the intolerably lengthy answers are usually the result of of an over-zealous 'cut-and-paster'. I will give a thumbs-down to such answers in order to facilitate my access to other answers. I think that's about it...:-)) So, MumOF4,... ... if you see that I've posted a question, feel free to answer it with 'maximum verbosity', and know that your response will absolutely be given my attention...:-)) -

Answer 4

Pray 1 John 5:16 to God...it is a promise that you can pray for life for someone. What that does is give God permission to work on that person because He is granting YOUR request for her even if she does not ask. God does not force love but waits until asked. I will pray that for your friend also. The biggest thing besides that is for you to be a shining example yourself and then she will want the happiness you have. You have the heart of an intercessor...with compassion for people. Let that grow and there will be many you can help.


† On-call Prayer Warrior †

Answer 5

Well dear, I feel your pain. I was in a similar situation with a girlfriend I had once. It was very hurtful to see her spiralling out of control. But you know what? In the end, I had to pray for her and then let go of her. It is a hard, hard thing to do when you love someone. But you can't save her, she has to see it herself. A lot of times, people like this are jumping over the edge and doing stupid stuff because they are running from pain. And hurting people hurt people. So my advice to you is keep yourself where you should be, drawing close to the Lord, and then pray hard for her. But then when the praying is done, let her go. Put her in God's hands. All the worry and controlling behavior that you can do will not help her, and it will probably only push her further away. I tell you, I went through hell on earth with that relationship until I learned this lesson. You can't change people, but you can pray for them and see God do a miracle that He gets all the glory for in the end.

Answer 6

When you say she is "scratching herself," do you mean cutting? If so, then she needs psychiatric help. There might be things going on in her family life that you don't know about. She might have a disorder such as depression or anxiety. Could you persuade her to talk to a school counselor or some other trusted adult? (I assume you are still in school.) Just keep being her friend even if she does do weird things. Sounds like she needs someone to just stand by her and offer a shoulder to cry on. Here is a link to a website that explains self-injury and how it is treated.

Answer 7

Let your friend find her own religion
Christianity is not for everyone
Eventually she will find a religion that suits her or maybe she will be an atheist and there is nothing wrong with that. But no matter what, she's still your friend. Just always remain there fher when she needs you. If you feel it will help her, go ahead and pray for her. Just please don't abandon her because of her religion or lack thereof. It sounds like shes going through a difficult time and needs you to be there for her.
About the cutting...talk to her about that. If she won't talk to you but you know she's doing it, go to an adult. Yes it will be hard and she may be upset with you, but its whats best for her in the long run.

Answer 8

I would start by praying for her all the time. Just be the great friend that you are and show her the love of Jesus through compassion. If she knows that you are open to her, she will come to you when she reaches the end of her rope. She is still in the hands of God, and He is drawing her constantly to come back to Him. She has not lost her salvation. You just stay as close to Him as possible, you will see her change and come back to Jesus, God will answer your prayer.

Answer 9

Honestly, her religion is not your business. I have lost many friends because they decided that I needed their God in my life. I do not, this is not my path and they tried to force it on me. It leads me to mistrust them, because I can't see a good friend making decisions for my life. Realize that she's happy with who she is, and there is nothing you can-- or should-- do but pray. This is her life and you should not try to do anything to force her to live how you do.

I am Agnostic-Pagan. My fiance is Atheist, my best friends are a Lutheran, a Christian, a Jew, and a Mormon. My mother is Buddhist. We all get along great, and we don't force our religions on each other. We realize that the only way that we can peacefully coeexist is when we learn that what path is right for us is not right for all.

Love your friend and be kind to your friend, but realize that just because Christianity is for you it is not for everyone. You are young, and she has a lifetime to find the correct path, as do you.

Peace.

Answer 10

#1 is pray for her; constantly and I'm sure the Christians here will, too. Mine is being sent up. You may talk to your minister and get advice, but do not allow her to persuade you into anything. Tell her satan laughs when a child of God goes astray; God weeps, but with arms opened wide.

Answer 11

Just be yourself. You are doing a good job by not shoving God in her face. You need to just model a good Christian life with Christian values. You can not make her a Christian.

You can pray for her, and invite her to your church. But you need to also talk to her about her scratching and destructive ways. Don't do it in a judgmental manner. Just let her know you love her and care for her.