My little sister? boundaries?

Question

Ok i no i am askin a lot of questions u do not have to answer. Anyway my little sister is 12 and i already said i have full custody. I am 24 and pregnant. my mom died 4 years ago. and my dad is in jail 4 killin her. But getting back to the subject. My lil sis is starting to like boys and she has a bf. She is goin to the movies with him alone and i alredy told her she can kiss him. shoot i had my first kiss when i was 10. Again she is only 12, what r some boundaries i should set for her?

She has a bedtime and is a straight A student. She even has a job. She is a babysitter for all the neighbors with kids. So plz don't tell me im a bad parent cuz im really not

Answer 1

I'm sure you want you little sister to love you but now that you are her parent you have to be just that her parent. You can't be her best friend and her parent figure at the same time. In the end you are doing her more damage then help if at 12 she has no boundaries and you allow her to go out in to the world what do you think will happen to her? She doesn't have enough life experience to make a proper decision. Does she know what to do when she is pressure in to drink drugs or sex? And I'm sure she will say " yes I know sex all that stuff is bad and I'm too young". But she is. She is only 12. Would you want her to come home and tell you that shes not a virgin any more. You already have a baby on the way do you really want to raise hers and there are way to many 12 year olds out there having sex. In then end you have to do what you feel is best but remember she is still a baby, and she need a guide not a friend she has them at school.

Answer 2

You should want her to do her homework, first thing. Second, when I was her age, after doing homework, I'd help with the dinner, wash the dishes, my sister would dry. The next week she would wash and I'd dry, and put them away.
If there was time before bed, we'd play cards or board games with friends over, or watch TV together. Getting ready for bed and school the next day, by choosing what to wear the next day. Sometimes talk on the phone with friends.
Boys were only allowed on the front steps, just to talk. No dating until age 16. You should know, by your own experience that dating early could mean a bad start. Are you married? You didn't mention that. All boys want is sex, and if she is kissing already, she'll be pg. when she's 13 or 14. Put a stop on it now. Keep her busy with chores in the house, if she doesn't have enough homework to keep her busy. If she still has free time, get lessons in something. A sport, piano lessons, something extra to do, that she is interested in.
Get on the computer. Go to girlsense.com That's a lot of fun. It has games, boutiques, buying and selling clothes, for play money. Designing on models. My 12 year old goes there. Just keep busy and No Boys. They'll only get you in trouble.

Answer 3

first of all, i think 12 is a little too young to date, especially if he's an older guy. good boundaries for a 12 year old girl are: group outings only (do yourself a favor and tag along; even if it means taking a friend and seeing a different movie or doing some shopping while they hang out at the mall. she's too young to be out on her own right now); home by dark unless she's at a friend's house, at a school function, on a group outing and has your permission first; no phone calls after 9 p.m., no computer in her room (television and phones are up to you, but my opinion is, if they're not old enough to get a job to pay for the phone, they not old enough to have one); give her regular chores and expect her to maintain good grades. spend time with her. if you can't have dinner every night, commit to a few nights a week and a special 'sisters outing' every week. she lost her parents too, and it's probably pretty traumatic for her. let her know that family is still important and you two have to stick together.

as far as kissing boys....she's going to do it anyway, but sit down and have 'the talk' with her. make sure she understands that the choice is hers, but every choice has a consequence. sex equals emotional involvement, pregnancy and STDs.

Answer 4

For one thing what is a 12 yr. old doing having a bf? Get her into activities at school, sports, babysitting, etc. She is still a child. Let her be a child. No she should not be thinking about kissing boys. She should have a bedtime, curfew, concentrate on school. You need to be a role model for her. If you don't get a handle on things now, she will be a teenage mom. Then what are you going to do. You'll have to raise her and her baby. Have fun with that. I think it would help if you got help as far as parenting classes. Get some support. It is out there if you want it. Oh and I do give you alot of credit for doing what you are doing . It will be well worth it for all of you. Good luck.

Answer 5

12 is a little too young to start feeling the way a boy can make you feel when he is kissing you. She should be putting all of her energies into school, so that hopefully there may be
a scholarship on the horizon. Boys aren't going anywhere, but being a teenager will leave fast.

Answer 6

First of all I wouldnt let her go to the movies alone. My daughter is 13 has a bf but they have to be in sight at all times. No one on one in bedrooms. Kissing is ok so long as she is comfortable with it. Make sure she can come to you if she feels unsafe. We have in place somthing called a Kids Contract. We have a set of rules that she must abide by and if she breaks them then she is in trouble. She will repeatedly tell you but everytime my daughter says that I say thankyou as I know she will thank me later on. Also you are the Adult. Make sure she realises that even if you are sisters.

Answer 7

Perhaps make it that she can't go on "alone" dates with him and can only go in groups? When I was younger that is what we girls had to do, group dates first, and we didn't really starting single dating until about 16.

Also have her check in if she is going to be gone for extended amounts of time, if she is with her friends, and they are going to go somewhere else, make sure she calls you so that YOU know where she is in case of anything.

Telling her that she can kiss was supportive of her exploration specially since she's coming into puberty, but remember to tell her that she doesn't have to feel PRESSURED to kiss anyone, or do anything else. Good luck!

Answer 8

No kissing first of all. and second i would not let them go to the movies alone do you know the way little boys minds work nowadays. this little freak wants in her pants i can see it already protect your sister with everything you have.

Answer 9

Sis you should never of told her she could kiss the boy. She is about 3 or 4 years away from that even.you let her go to the movies with him alone? i can`t believe that. She is to young to have a boyfriend. my wife didn`t let our girls go on dates until they was16.