How do I keep the Jehovah people from knocking on my door?

Question

Here is a true story. When I was a kid, I was a Jehovah's Witness. My parents made me go door to door selling the Watchtower and Awake magazine, and, if I could really score, the "Truth" book. So I'm bopping down the block, "Good morning sir/ma'am, I am here to share the good news with you", and this one chick, I was like 10 years old, she answers the door completely naked. Well, I had never seen a naked woman before, and it rendered me speechless. I ran away from the door and tried to find my brother who was down the street somewhere. So, here is what you do. Just peel those clothes off fast when you see the Jehovah's Witnesses coming and enjoy your moment in the sun.

Answer 1

At times, a question such as this will elicit dozens and dozens of elaborate schemes to spare a householder an unwanted conversation with Jehovah's Witness door-to-door ministers.

All such schemes are a complete and utter waste of time!

Many of your neighbors have figured it out, and it's really quite simple:
1. Open the door
2. Smile (optional)
3. Ask "Jehovah's Witness?"
4. Receive affirmation
5. Say, "Thank you, but I'm not interested"
6. Gently close the door (slamming is rude, but your prerogative)

Please recognize that Jehovah's Witnesses are not primarily interested in converts, but in working to obey Jesus' command to preach (Matt 24:14; Matt 28:19,20).

Learn more:
http://watchtower.co.uk/e/jt/index.htm?article=article_04.htm
http://jw-media.org/people/ministry.htm

Answer 2

Did you seriously just say that you are not a hostile person after admitting to spraying someone with poison? We come because we obey Jesus command and we want you to have the opportunity to live forever. (Matt. 28: 18:20 and John 17:3) Having grown up not being a witness I just don't understand how taking 30 seconds to answer the door and say no thank you is such a big deal.

Answer 3

In response to your statement.

One of my Mom's best studies actually was a I guess you'd say hippie. The first girl who called on her, was shocked when she came to the door naked. The girl asked my Mom to call back as the woman seemed interested. The woman, was probably best described as amoral. When she read in the Bible that something was not how God wanted, she changed. She became a sister, though they lost touch. I have been trying to find her over the net, but not yet, maybe someday.

So clearly your idea isn't exactly fool proof, or in my opinion well thought out, as that could quickly land your butt in jail. We don't live in a time when things like this can lightly be joked about, because sadly, some people do these things to minors, and worse.

Answer 4

I tell them I'm sorry but I have my own beliefs, that usually gets them to see that they are kind of forcing their own beliefs on me and I don't like it. My brother is not so sweet, we have LDS people always coming around, and he answered the door once, told them he'd go and get his mom, and then he shut the door, went downstairs, and played videogames. No, he never went to get mom, and no, he doesn't know how long they stood out there until they got the hint. Other people I know keep their own 'propaganda' near the door, and when religions come trying to give them pamphlets and other things, they respond by trying to give out the silly random pamphlets that they've collected and keep in their little propaganda pile. A lot of times if you respond in kind, by trying to give them silly pamphlets or so forth, they will see that they are really being quite annoying and they'll stop coming. We also have a problem with newspaper people coming to our door. I usually let my husband answer, he'll scare them off, or if he's not around and I'm not expecting anyone, I just don't answer the door. If it's a friend who knows I should be home, they'll knock or ring the bell more than once. If it's a salesperson or religious propaganda person, they'll most often seem to only knock once. So if someone knocks twice I'll answer the door, once I'll ignore it.

Answer 5

I have found that having some people passed out in the floor in wife beaters and piling the beer cans from the party the night before in a very tall pyramid on the coffee table right where the door opens so they can see them, and opening the door with a bottle of Jack in one hand and a bat in the other also works. Especially if you are a girl!

(My friends and I kept having JW's come to the door one summer when I was about 20 or so...so after a party one night we did this...they never came back!)

Answer 6

That's priceless!

One morning, after a late party at my house (years ago), I heard a knock at the door. Low and behold.... 2 women as well as young children peddling their religion (I'm assuming JW, but I didn't ask). So the one lady says something like, we would like to speak to you about God's salvation.... I was in the middle of a yawn so it took me a second.. then I motioned over toward numerous beer bottles all over the front porch and said - Lady, I'm way beyond saving. Now you better run along or I might corrupts your little ones too! They didn't say a word more, just turned around and quickly left. Never came knocking on that door again!

Answer 7

Yes, God will really appreciate that from you. Wait...Satan will.

Keep it up, smart boy. In the first place you don't sell magazines. They are not for sale. You give them in hopes of spreading godly truths, as it were. Nowadays they ask for donations to help pay for the publishing of the publications they pass out.

I guess Satan is very impressed with you, slob. Armageddon will be a wonderful day as no more blasphemers, hypocrites and scumbags will exist any longer.

Answer 8

My mother never liked the Jehovah witnesses until our father died and they brought us some cake...to this day we didn't even know who they were, how they found out there was a death in he family or where they sprung from.

Answer 9

Let em in, talk too them. Theyll contradict themselves within 5 minutes and then theyll say they have to go when you point it out(or theyll start yelling at you- at that point you can use the shotgun)

They came to my door and gave me that Awake magazine thing... its the funniest load of ... ... ever!

One article "How to live in fear of Jehovah" it showed a picture of a caveman who was freaking out and looking towards the sky... I got a good laugh. Another one was about eating worms

Answer 10

This is what I did once. I invited them in and then started being overly serious with them and asking them insane questions about saving me from the devil and how they would do it and what I could do and if I could travel with them and bring lots of odd things that I thought would help us save others....well, my roommate came down and told me to leave them alone. They were trying to leave and I just kept them there with exactly what they were looking for, but, it turns out, when they find it...it frightens them a bit and they never come back.