Well I think he fancies me! What do I do, I'm not gay or bisexual and it's driving me mad. He keeps coming over to my desk and leaning very close to me. I've tried not looking at him and I can't move back because theres a wall behind me. He keeps smiling or staring in this horrible way. Help please! He's a great guy and I like him as a collegue but thats it. I like women.
2007-09-13 11:09:11 · 21 answers · asked by Rich 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Did you ever see that sketch in the Fast Show? "Very flattered, but not I'm gay?". Maybe your aftershave is just irresistible?
2007-09-13 11:13:57 · answer #1 · answered by Private Erin Coolidge 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Lunch or the like is definitely in order - someplace out of the worklplace where the two of you can talk. It may well be that he's just an overtly friendly co worker or he might be gay or somewhere in the middle. So, make the opportunity to talk with him and bring up a variety of subjects to see if you have enough in common to be friends who understand and respect each other. After all we can all use good friends.
And don't be afraid to bring up his close approaches and ask what they are all about. If he admits he likes you then thank him for the compliment, inform him politely that you are a little taken aback by his getting so close and ask him to like you but not to get quite so close in future (at least until you get more accustomed to it).
2007-09-16 14:34:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My little brother is gay, and he was doing the same at work to both the girls and the boys!
He is a very tactile person, and the girls never minded cos they never really noticed. Anyhoo, one of the lads concerned made a complaint to the manager, and obviously he was hauled up to explain his actions.
My brother was mortified - he never fancied this bloke in any way or form, and certainly hated the fact that he made him feel uncomfortable - he thanked the manager for makin him aware of the sitution and approached the fella concerned.
He apologised for making him feel uncomfortable, but made it qwite obvious to him that he is not a monster, and if this bloke had just asked him to not get so close - he would have been fine!
Please speak to the person before complaining to anyone. He won't be offended or hurt - however if that doesnt work - go to your management!
2007-09-17 10:14:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be very careful with him, but make it as clear as you can that you are just not interested. Some gay guys do seem to think that they can wear you down, or that deep down you're gay too. Have had this situation myself, and the only way I could resolve it was by saying unambiguously that I am straight, married, 4 kids etc but that I didn't see any problems with him in just being friends, going for a drink, talking about his private life if he wanted to, his upbringing etc. But that at work he just had to back off a bit. I would never do anything to make anyone unhappy, so some care is needed.
2007-09-13 11:26:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a similar situation once with a gay woman. I just started talking about a guy I fancied. She got the message.
Just mention how much you fancy a girl you know. There must be someone you like.
2007-09-13 11:16:12 · answer #5 · answered by Copper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just likes you as a mate, i mean if he were not gay would you think anything of it.and gay guys do not fancy every guy they see u know. you need to have a quiet chat with him,tell him you're straight, and be clear you open to friendship,but thats it.Or maybe its you who havethe problem you've just heard the word GAY' and you feel vunerable, grow a pair and chill, be honest and i,m sure you won't have a problem.
2007-09-13 11:29:15 · answer #6 · answered by hesofine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it dont mean he likes you in that way
you should make it clear that your not that way but dont be mean like oi i aint gay just say somethin like your seeing your girlfriend later or you could say that a man tryed chatting you up last night/on the way to work and that you had to explain that you wernt gay to him then the guy that likes you can get the message with out you crushing him
good luck with what you deside to do tho
2007-09-13 11:20:54 · answer #7 · answered by animal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to be direct with him. Tell him outright that you don't like this attention, you are not comfortable with it and you are not interested in him in that way. Be firm, kind and above all discreet. You want him to clearly understand that you are not interested in him, but you don't want him being on the receiving end of nasy homophobic attention at work either.
2007-09-13 12:00:24 · answer #8 · answered by Orla C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Start talking to him about women you like, or tell him about your girlfriend, or girls you think are hot. Bring in a maxim magazine and when he comes in just start looking at it and showing him pictures of beautiful women. OR, just tell him you're straight, just so he knows. Or when he comes in your personal space just get involved in your work and tell him you're really busy, maybe that will make him go away!?!
2007-09-13 11:17:47 · answer #9 · answered by brigadoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive met one or 2 people like that at artwork and none of them have recognized gay to me. maximum of them are fortunately married adult adult males with families and have grown up a splash. maybe they do fantasize yet might particularly shop it to themselves. additionally in the journey that your pal grow to be gay, might it actually matter variety to you? What distinction might it make? TBH, i think of you may desire to be getting on at the same time with your artwork and worrying much less approximately anybody else.
2016-12-13 08:22:34 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋