I can never seem to last a long time w. a boyfriend. I recently just got dumped and a couple weeks ago me and another boy ended it. I can never seem to stay w/ one boy for a long time. which is wat i want the most. I get mad sorta easily but i cant help it. i have a lot of anger in me and i somtimes end up geting mad over stupied things. what can i do to end this misery and have a long relationship??
2007-09-13 09:38:48 · 36 answers · asked by Kelli 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you considered professional counseling...no pun intended...seriously...why is it so important or even necessary for you to have a bf after each break-up w/ an ex-bf? Do you also have co dependancy issues other than anger issues? We all get angry and some get angrier than others. But if you think that's causing you lots of trouble in your relationships then maybe you should seek a professional counselor. It will help you later in life in venting your anger in a positive way. Especially if you plan on having children. You don't want to teach your children by watching you go into fits of anger/rage, or behave irrationally...also, just the think of all the wasted years in or acting out in fits of anger/rage which will cause you major health problems later on in life. Seek Professional help now!
2007-09-13 09:41:07 · answer #1 · answered by metalgods 4 · 5⤊ 1⤋
If you know that you tend to have a temper -then first work on that. Get some counseling and find out "why"your so angry and ways to deal with it in a "healthy way".
Everyone feels angry and frusterated at times - maybe a counselor can help you to work out some off your issues in a private session. Then go out into the world and find someone to share " happiness" with.
You should come to a relationship with something to offer the other person - most people aren't looking for someone who gets mad and blows up at them.
A romantic relationship that is going to last beyond the initial "crush" stage - needs to be founded on friendship
Are you being a "friend" to these boy"friends" or just a demanding , "moodY" B?
Ask yourself if You would want to spend tiem with someone that treats you the way your treating them...
if you can say Yes then maybe your picking the wrong guys or the the wrong reasons to like them.
If you can be totally honest with yourself and say "no" - I won't like to be treated that way... then the "mystery" is solved.
A relationship is a process of sharing yourself with another person - mutual respect and friendship.
Not a "solution" to YOUR problems.
Get your side of the relationship ready ( be a "whole" person)
and the next one just may last.
Good Luck
and serious consider counseling- it shows strength ( not weakness) to be brave enought to look at yourself and maybe even discover that some of your anger issues are "real" - maybe some healing needs to take place
Peace
2007-09-13 09:52:49 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you know that you have some anger issues, get some help for those now. If you are a teen, there is plenty of free or low cost help thru United Family Services in any town (they are nationwide for the most part. I live in a small town and we have them here). It won't take forever, to get the tools that you need to learn about where your anger comes from and how to handle it. My son is 15yrs old and has been thru Anger Management Program that I found thru UFS, and I went with him, as I can still learn new things to. We spent about 6 mos learning why we do what we do and how to change it. Life is much better now! It really helps! Fix it now! Don't go thru your whole life angry and not getting help for it or you will go from man to man looking for something that is within you all the time. There is help! If you don't have parents who can help you, ask a friend's mom or a school counselor to help you get help.
2007-09-13 09:50:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is having a LONG relationship your goal, or is having a GOOD relationship your goal?
Dating is kinda like trying on clothes at the store before deciding to buy them. Not every person you date is going to be a great fit for you. You might not be a great fit for every person you date - there are two of you in this equation, and the other person is also looking for someone who is a good fit for them.
It's never fun being the person who is dumped, but as you get older, it's going to happen. And THANK GOD !! because most of us who are a little older think back on early relationships and shudder to think that we could actually be married to
One thing I would recommend is that you HAVE FUN with dating, use the time together, however long it is, to learn about the person, AND YOURSELF, instead of going into it with longevity as your goal. You also might want to work on the anger issue you identified. THAT is something you CAN do something about.
2007-09-13 09:56:44 · answer #4 · answered by TLH 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You need to take time off from thinking about a relationship and need to get to the source of you not being able to keep a relationship with a boyfriend.
This anger you mention you need to check to see if it doesn't have any thing to do with your childhood as we some times harbor feelings that prevent us from moving forward in life. if you are lucky to have good friends that you can confide in; ask them to give you a fair assessment of your self and don't be offended by what they say. Some times people close to us know that some thing about us is not good and afraid to bring it out for fear of losing the friendship.
Another case is to seek professional help if nothing else seem to happen
2007-09-13 10:01:45 · answer #5 · answered by Premio 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop being a victim. Take responsibility for your own actions. If you get angry for stupid reasons, then you should be able to anticipate the results. Your anger stems out of the fact that you want to be a victim. Until you stop playing that victim role, nothing is going to change in your life. To end your misery, you are going to have to change. You cannot be surprised at the results that you worked to achieve with your selfish anger.
2007-09-13 09:45:33 · answer #6 · answered by SuziChi 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have the same problem Hun. I get pissed over every damn thing . It got to the point where i was going to lose my boyfriend then I was told by a very good friend to write down every thing that pissed me off or got me emotional past and present then I was told that before i became too upset to go to the bathroom or a private area to vent also the most important thing is to discus things with your boyfriend tell him that when you are on the verge of being upset that you will leave the room to calm your self . This has worked for me and I am currently in a 4 year relationship.
2007-09-13 09:52:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Have you ever tried to take at least a month off from any relationship? Well, you should. According to most of the girl magazines, to find the right person you first have to find your true self. That is: you gotta be honest with yourself and try to figure out what went wrong with each and one of the relationships, starting from the very first one.
I know it sound like a bunch of bull, but it helps. You need to know what you are looking for in a guy instead of having constant break-ups.
2007-09-13 09:45:14 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Get some counseling for your anger issues...until you get that resolved you may never well have a lasting relationship. In your teen years, that's not a huge issue, but as you move through adulthood it'll definitely be something that'll negatively affect your love life and any desire you might have to settle down and have a family at some point.
2007-09-13 09:42:33 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your doing something wrong. If its not you then your just picking the wrong guy's. The best thing for you is to control your temper and don't be mean. Guy's love sweeties. But at the same time don't let anybody take advantage of you.
And stay in good shape preferably under 125 pounds
2007-09-13 09:44:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋