So...i think the best way people can give me a an answer is if i explain the situation. I met some guy when i was a freshman and he was a junior. Now, three years later...he's back in school because he still hasn't graduated. He's been involved in a lot of deep stuff(drugs, drinking, cops, etc) But now he's got himself cleaned up(that's what he says) He say;s he likes me and i like him too. But not enough to date him. I would rather stay friends. How do i make him understand that without hurting him?
2007-09-13 09:32:55 · 20 answers · asked by ღAmorღ 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just tell him the truth. The truth may hurt, but you can't lie because what if you decide to go out with another guy and he sees this. Just tell him that you want him to concentrate on just making himself better. Tell him that you'll always be there when he needs someone to talk to, but the timing isn't right. Its been a long time and so much has happened.
2007-09-13 09:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by Angela M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with him and tell him that right up front. Let him know that you're not looking for a relationship... that you just want to stay friends.
He'll appreciate and respect you hearing that now... instead of later on feeling like you lead him on. Just be straight forward with him from the beginning.
Good luck girl.
2007-09-13 16:39:02 · answer #2 · answered by Shorty 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to be honest, otherwise your not going to let him know right. You can try off by saying, "I really like you but I'd rather be friends for more time." Hopefully he will understand and if not, let him know your not being mean but you'd like more time.
Later, check if he was actually telling the truth and if he is "cleaning up" and changing, ⺠Good luck, Honey!
2007-09-13 16:38:17 · answer #3 · answered by Janda Panda☺ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you would love to be his friend and hang out with him but because of his history with drugs, etc. he would have to prove his sobriety before anything more could happen. If he doesn't think he owes you that, then you don't need him as a boyfriend in the first place.
2007-09-13 16:42:39 · answer #4 · answered by DEB 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him if he is still clean in a couple of years from now you will consider it but right now you can't take the chance that you will get hurt and don't want to committ emotionally. It is up to him if he still wants you as a friend.
2007-09-13 16:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by curiouscanadian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you've enjoyed your friendship with him for all these years and you're scared that having a relationship would mess things up. If he says that nothing will change, then just tell him you feel more comfortable keeping things as is and that you don't want him to take it the wrong way or be upset with you.
2007-09-13 16:37:27 · answer #6 · answered by I no 2 much n 2 little 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you just tell him the truth. You dont want to be anymore than friends with him at this time in your life and his. If he wants more then you cant be friends either...that just wont work...he'll hurt more. being rejected hurts. there's no way to not hurt someone in these cases. but drawing the line should help him to move on.
2007-09-13 16:40:21 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say you think he still needs time to clean his life up, right now you are focusing on school, and its not the right thing between the two of you!
2007-09-13 16:36:08 · answer #8 · answered by Steph 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's not way how to not hurt him while saying "Let's stay as friends." You just have tos ay that you're not interested and that you're sorry that you don't feel the same way. Good luck. =)
2007-09-13 16:37:45 · answer #9 · answered by cat_heros@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him it's not about him right now, it's about you. You're doing things in life right now and you're not ready to devote time into a relationship, and you wouldn't want to cheat him out of a good relationship.
2007-09-13 16:42:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋