I know this sounds horrible.. and i dont mean for it too. i am so happy to have been blessed with another child. I am just scared. Me and my husband have a daughter who will be two in january and she is our life! She is just now to the age where we can go and do just about anything with her.. like get up and ride around town in our jeep with the top off... take her to the park and the best part of my day is at night when she is sleepy she will say come on mommy and daddy and we will all get in the bed and play for a while before she falls asleep.. (yes she still sleeps with us).. things are just so simple and care free with the three of us.. We are having a little boy next month.. and i am scared. scared of not loving him as much as my daughter.. scared of my daughter not getting the attention she loves getting and feeling left out.. and just scared of not having the 3 of us time we do now.. please dont take this the wrong way. we are excited about our baby boy.. just very scard.???
2007-09-13 09:26:04 · 16 answers · asked by Brandy W 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Don't worry I went throught the exact same thing with my second child. My kids are about 16 months apart so when I found out I was pregnant with my daughter I felt so guilty! guilty that I wasn't going to be able to spend quality time with my son who was like a year when we found out I was pregnant. Guilty that I was going to neglect him or the new baby. Would I still be able to find time to cuddle with him and read stories? I didn't resent the new baby, just worried a lot. Having a boy is so different than having a girl at least for me it is. Don't worry. Enjoy the time that you have with your daughter and make it a priority to make time to share only with her. Things are undoubtedly going to change with the new baby just make sure that you let her know that you love her just as much as when it was just the 3 of you. I would still reserve time before bed for lots of cuddles and hugs and stories. Have your husband take the baby for awhile and take your daughter for a walk around the block or go to a park, or just sit and color or read a book with her. Trust me, the guilt does go away. It does get a little easier as they get older. Think of it this way just one more person to hug and squeeze at night!! You will do fine!
2007-09-13 11:44:27 · answer #1 · answered by hazeleyes1279 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have a wonderful home life. Your little girl is very lucky.
I have 2 younger sisters & both just had babies 2 weeks ago, 2 days apart! My youngest sister was very upset & worried about the same thing. She has a 2 year old son & was worried that it wasn't possible for her to love another as much as she loves her son. A totally legit worry. Her daughter was born just after midnight saturday morning. She said that the moment she got to hold her baby girl, she realized that a mothers heart is big enough & full of love to love many, looking at her daughters face she said she fell in love instantly. You too sound full of a mother's love. You'll be fine. Her son has turned into quite the little man since his little sisters birth. although he's only two, he's a helper. He runs to get diapers, "helps" his mom & dad carry the infant carrier from the car to the house. While I'm sure it'll be an adjustment for your daughter, I'm just as sure it'll all work out. She'll probably be so occupied by her little brother and eager to help out too. If you weren't a good parent, you wouldn't worry. Best of luck to you & your family and congrats!
2007-09-14 09:52:38 · answer #2 · answered by PrincessJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know EXACTLY how you feel. My son was 2 1/2 when my daughter was born and the world revolved around him. I was worried about not having enough love for both, but you know what? You will.
I love my kids differently, but just as much. My son will always be my first born. My daughter is my baby girl. I'd lay down my life for each of them or both.
You just have to make sure to make one-on-one time for your daughter, since the new baby will take a lot of attention. Enlist her help wherever you can, getting diapers, bottle, etc. And use friends and family for babysitting.
You will still have time together.
Good luck!
2007-09-13 16:41:26 · answer #3 · answered by mamarat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not even pregnant yet with my second child and I'm already starting to feel the same way you are (in fact, I just asked a question about it myself). My husband and I just decided to try for a second baby. Our daughter is now 2 1/2 and she's the best thing that's ever happened to us. We love her more than anything. Is it possible to love another child the same way? It seems it is very possible as everyone else seems to have these feelings also. You'll get through it and so will I. We all have enough love to go around.
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AvOERtXm2O1WTWCImf8gYePsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070910124509AADCrCI
2007-09-13 17:46:47 · answer #4 · answered by ticktock 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had the same fears as each of my kids was added to our family. But as they were born I realized that I was just as in love with them as the one before. They each are loved equally and each have a special place in our hearts.
A thought that will help the transition of your son joining your family soon...you probably have just enough time to break a habit that will turn bad for you. (speaking from first hand experience) You will want your daughter to have her own bed and her own space! The habit that is being formed with her sleeping with you will cause much frusteration in a very short time down the road. When you have your son close to you to feed through the night and every time he cries or wakes up it makes your daugters sleep not as successful and therefor not only are you cranky from lack of sleep but then you have a cranky little girl.
Most importantly is that you and your husband need your space to be a couple! What happens when she is 4, 5, 7, etc. Still sleeping with you? The longer you allow this the harder it will be for you and her to break the habit!
Good luck and hope all goes smoothly for you!
2007-09-13 16:55:57 · answer #5 · answered by jhg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two children also, 2 1/2 yrs apart, and I was soooo worried about the same thing. Let me tell you, when you hold that second child in your arms, it is still special. You will love your second child. My children have very different personalities and you may find that you do things differently the second time around, but I definately love them both in their own way. You still have close family time, and you can choose to set aside some time to give each child some one-on-one attention. This gets even more important as they get older, even though it becomes more difficult to do.
2007-09-13 16:36:50 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust me love just comes naturally. I too was scared a bit b/c I have a wonderful relationship with my then 3 yr old when I had my baby. I would set special time aside just for him and I as well as have him very invovled in my infants care. He just turned 4 and my daughter is now 9 months and we are a wonderful family of 4 now. She just added so much more love to the relationship of myself, my husband, and our son. You will do fine.
2007-09-13 17:42:53 · answer #7 · answered by cristons_mommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This made me smile because I had exactly the same worries when I was pregnant with my second child. Here's your answer -- it's normal to be worried, but you will be amazed: it seems like you have a finite amount of love to give, and then it turns out you have more. Things are more complicated and louder and crazier with more kids but they are, if anything, even happier. And your daughter will be happy as she grows to have a sibling even though she may be jealous of the baby for awhile. You may not be able to stop worrying, and you may be even more worried for a few months when the baby is born, but it is going to work out and be wonderful for you. Really. Congratulations on the baby.
2007-09-13 16:46:06 · answer #8 · answered by ... 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know dozens of people that felt that way!! Don't worry, your love will be just as great, equally for both. It's just human nature!! I totally get what you're saying, cause I think of that too sometimes... but if that were the case then we'd ALL be single children in all our homes... I am one of 5, so I know it's NOT the case. Your love, nurturing and affection will come naturally and without reservation. Fear not, you'll make great (new) parents and your big girl will be a great big sister!!
Good luck!
2007-09-13 16:33:35 · answer #9 · answered by Alexa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you is not to worry so much about the future and this can be stressing you out which is not good for you and the baby. I guarantee everything will be fine and I'm sure the first couple of weeks your second child will act jealous and even act up but she will get used to her little brother and she will be happy to have him as part of the family.
2007-09-13 16:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by Txgirl23 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋