Does my girlfriend secretly hate me?

Question

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I met this girl and we really hit it off, did loads of fun things together for 3 weeks but then she moved away. She came back to pick up some stuff&stayed with me.I asked her if we could be together properly,but she seemed funny about it even though we'd been sleeping together, said she was bad at talking about things.Eventually she agreed and we been together 2 months now. But last week we were going2sleep &she suffered a panic attack, said it was brought on by something i did but wouldn't tell me what. She also said that she has made the mistake in the past of getting together with people out of guilt, because they pressured her.
Then again, 2day she text me saying she's frightened of actually liking me. What the hell is going on? What should I do?

Answer 1

i think she is frustrated with her past. she is trying to find someone to blame, you are living close to her so you are the first person who will be blamed. and I think she needs some personal moment, only for her, I mean she needs SPACE.

Answer 2

She has suffered from being hurt in a previous relationship. This would explain the panic attacks, which happen when she thinks about being in a relationship. If she gets together with people because she feels pressured, then the problem is hers. However, because of her past, she feels scared about walking away. You should be empathetic; however, you should also give her the time she needs to figure out where she stands in this relationship. The suffering was probably bad enough that she will be haunted for years.

Answer 3

She doesn't hate you she just has obviously been hurt in the past. She fears that she may make a "mistake" by becoming committed because this causes her vulnerability. If I were you I would just try to take it nice and slow. She has agreed to the relationship so just tell her that you won't pressure her about taking the relationship further and if it is ever something that she would like to do then she needs to bring it up. I hope it all works out for you!

Answer 4

Sounds like you need to call it off until she gets her head/ feelings sorted out!! She had a panic attack over something you did, but couldn't tell you what you did wrong? What the...? She can't communicate with you or be honest! She's frightened of 'actually LIKING you?" Does she usually sleep with people she DOESN'T LIKE? I'd get out while the gettin' was good, dude!

Answer 5

i think you need to sit down and have a long talk with her! tell her that if she doesnt like you then she needs to tell you so you can both move on with your lives! tell her the only thing she should feel guilty about is continueing the relationship under false pretenses! tell her that you really like her but if shes not feeling the same way you dont want to hold her down! any decent girl will tell you the truth! its not fair for you to be in a relationship with someone who is just with you because of guilt! and i would definaltly ask her about the text! what the hell is she doing with you if she doesnt already "actually like you?" good luck! and if it doesnt work out dont worry because you will find a girl who truly likes! <3

Answer 6

So.... what do you LIKE about her?

You make her sound like she has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Why are you still messing with her? You know that she has major problems. Yeah, you're attached to her, but that doesn't mean anything really. In reality, although your feelings are strong, this fling is just doomed to fail miserably and leave you wishing it never even begun. I think you already know better than to believe in this relationship, you just haven't accepted it yet. Yes, she deserves your sympathy; no, she does not deserve your time.

Answer 7

you're obviously dating a very emotionally distressed person. the best way to handle situtations with people like that (being that I used to be one) is to let her know that you really like her, but you don't want her to be with you for any other reason other than the fact that she likes you. explain to her that since she's prone to panic attacks, you don't want to cause her anymore stress than she already has. you just want to spend some time with her, have fun with her, and if it turns into someting bigger than that, then that's fantastic- but you don't want her to feel guilty about this let alone panic around you. explain to her that you really like her and you really like spending time with her.
Then, next time she comes over, just hang out. watch Tv, etc. nothing involving sex. if she approaches you, go for it. Panic Attack triggers are usually something that the person associates with (conciously or subconciously) not being safe. (not neccessarily to say that all panic attacks are triggered this way)
make her feel wanted - but not in an overbearing whiny way.
Listen more to what she says, ask questions - let her know that you are genuinely interested in her (not just for sex) and you should work out pretty well. let me know if you need help any other way

Answer 8

Patience and time. We always want to DO something, but a lot of times the victory goes to the guy who can keep a light hand on the reins. Just watch and enjoy.

Half of what makes it fun is the unpredictability.

Answer 9

as a woman , i would probably react the same way your girl did .. the reason being , too much too soon .. we girls also like a bit of a challenge .. a bit of a bad boy attitude .. back off a little bit and let her work it out on her own and she will come back looking for u .. "i'm scared of liking u " .. please .. i know so many girls use that line .. seems like u are very sweet guy .. try being a li'l aloof and see what happens .. my guess is she will be more comfortable with that .

Answer 10

I think she is playing games with you. It all sounds like a big game. Maybe a playing hard to get type of thing. Maybe a ploy for attention type of thing. I suggest if you are not into games you throw this fish back, there are plenty more in the sea.

Answer 11

Sounds like she's going through some serious sh*t , she may or may not want you to support her through it , if she shuts you off it means she needs her space to sort herself out , sounds like she was not ready for a relationship but just gave in and had one
You like her - you can't help that , she must have liked you too but maybe she's got baggage she hasn't dealt with thats why she's scared - but thats not fair on you - you need to be with someone who wants to be with you 100% without doubts...no one should have to cajoule another person into a relationship just coz we like them