I don't understand men at ALL!?

Question

Why do they go all keen on you, persuade you to go out with them and then suddenly stop treating you well once you agree?
Why do they patronise you in front of your friends?
Why are they sometimes really sweet and nice and then other times totally weird and distant?
And how the hell can you tell, amongst all this weird behaviour, if they actually have any genuine feeling for you?
Are there any men who can actually articulate an emotion?
Arghhhhhhh!

Answer 1

Hard to say. Men are from Mars.

Answer 2

No offense to women or you, but I don't understand women at all. But, I probably am just saying that cuz I haven't had a serious relationship since 2000 and I never had a problem with girls in high school and college and ever since then, I don't know how to approach them and I never get approached anymore. Sorry..had to vent a little there.

I can't speak for all guys cuz I don't think all of them all like your first question, nor most of of your questions.

But, for one, I think you can tell, amongst all this "weird behavior" that they actually have any genuine feeling for you when YOU are THEIR top priority. Or at least, when they get home from work or whatever, you're the first person they call, etc.

Yes, there are men who can actually articulate an emotion. They're called gay men. Just kidding. I have a guy friend who's gay, so I'm not really making fun of them. Seriously though, you just gotta find the right guy I guess. They are out there and I know you'll find yours! Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds exactly what I just went through. Good luck to us all. I think most of them can articulate emotions, but whether or not they want to is the question. I have met some great guys in my time so don't get me wrong, but sometimes I think they think talking on this level will reveal way too much about them. I've noticed that this type of guy is all about asking personal questions about how you feel, but often doesn't want to give anything in return.

I think they patronize us to and distance themselves once they have gotten what they want because it is a norm for their particular group. So, if guys like this do have genuine feelings, then they hide them so they aren't ridiculed by their buddies. I'll pray for us both to find a mature, caring man. I know they are out there so I'll keep waiting ;-)

Best Wishes

Answer 4

Okay, let me break this down for you honey:


"Why do they go all keen on you, persuade you to go out with them and then suddenly stop treating you well once you agree?"
Well, some guys have to put on their best behavior so that you will be interested and agree to date them. However, once they know they have you, there's no reason (except to respect you) for them to keep up this charade. It's the same reason why people work so hard to impress the other, but after they're dating or married, they get less & less physically attractive (i.e., fat, stop dressing nice) because they don't feel they need to impress their partner anymore.


"Why do they patronise you in front of your friends?"
Well, it depends on what the guy says. YOU may see it as a put down, whereas in his minuscule male brain he thinks he's being playful A lot of the times guys make fun of each other to have fun (this is how they communicate... with insults). However, girls are not used to this so when a guy is having fun with the other guys he tries to incorporate you into his circle by making fun of you as well. It's not to impress them, it's just how they act. Normal, if you will.


"Why are they sometimes really sweet and nice and then other times totally weird and distant?"
And by "weird" you mean...? Guys become distant when they have been hurt or tired. If a guy has worked really hard at school or at his job then afterwards all he wants to do is unwind. I repeat: THE ONLY THING ON A GUY'S MIND AFTER WORK IS TO RELAX. He only needs 30 minutes to an hour. But the problem is, women are ALWAYS ready to talk and when they see their man after he's done working, they ask him all these penetrating questions BEFORE he can calm his mind and relax. Quite frankly, it is seen as rude of a woman to want to talk because she's interrupting his ability to obtain piece of mind.


"And how the hell can you tell, amongst all this weird behaviour, if they actually have any genuine feeling for you?"
This one's a toughy. Guy's tend to be more guarded, so I'm not sure if there's not true formula by which to follow to determine whether or not he has feelings for you. Sorry, I don't know this one.


"Are there any men who can actually articulate an emotion?"
Yes, there are. For example, I feel very calm, with a bit of sensitivity toward the subject of girlfriends because everyday I feel upset (not crippling, but I still feel it) that I have never been in a relationship (I'm 20). Okay, that's a little off topic, but it shows how man IS capable of saying more than "I'm fine".


I hope that helped answer each one of your questions. And remember, our society raises our young men to grow up to not cry, be tough, and bottle up their emotions. It's how we are brought up. Whereas women are encouraged to have a healthy expression of how they are feeling. I'm not justifying men being reserved, but try to go easy on them =)

Answer 5

But even if you are married, it doesn't stop there...... they act just as wacky even then!!! I have a terrific husband... BUT..... he does the same things and I wonder at times why I ever wanted to get married!!! :)

I think that men are capable of genuine feeling, but for some reason, they like to do the "hunting" thing..... while women, as soon as they know they care for someone, they become totally loving and open their hearts and show everything they feel.... and then men don't feel that mad urge to "get" the girl cos she is already "gotten".... so, there's no more challenge of the "hunt". It's ridiculous, but there it is!

(Abject apologies to the mature well-adjusted nice guys out there who don't do that....)

But the thing that seems to work with men is if you take two steps forward, take a step back.... Force yourself to ignore and neglect him a bit; even though you want to hear his voice and talk sweet nothings, let him leave a voicemail message! Don't make it too easy for him to get hold of you.. and let him do some running after you...

It will be very hard (been there done that).... but if you want to keep him, you have to be a tad manipulative! Just a tad! :) However, I'm not saying that you should withhold love or affection, just be a little "hard to get", even though you know you're already smitten!

Good Luck! :))

Answer 6

Most of us can, once we get those raging hormones, egotism and self-esteem issues taken care of. Sadly, sometimes this never happens.
And most of the time we don't understand you either.
Old saying: men are crazy, women are insane.
Most of the time what solves this is communication. Straight-forward, simple plain-speaking, without all the usual games, digressions, mistaken assumptions and emotional hand-wringing.
A hint: subtlety is lost on men.
Speak to us gently and simply, not as if we were children, but as if we were generally easily-distracted. If we answer you, simply and straight-forwardly, accept that answer and don't try to read extra meanings into it.
I know a woman who went into a crying fit because her man told her that he'd like to have lamb chops for dinner. She thought he was telling her he'd found someone else, and all he wanted was lambchops. It's that simple.
So are we.

Answer 7

we like knowing we can over come obstacles (your not just an obstacle to us your a beautiful women and were slobs but come on if a slob can get a hottie we aint to shabby then)

i dont really ever recall guys patronizing there girls. it sounds like youve got an extra special douche bag on your hands

youve never been in a good mood one day and in a bad mood another? stuff happens we can be ready to kick *** and take names on a date but sometimes something happens that takes the wind out of our sales.

it shouldnt be to hard to find out if someone has genuine feelings about you. some guys get nervous and start acting weird because there so nervous

yes there are plenty of guys that can do all this you ask you just havent met him yet. its ok to be frustrated.

try going out with someone who is not exactly your type or who isnt the qb for the football team or a guitar player in a punk band go for the band geek.

Answer 8

This is a lot depends on the stability. Some has very less n some has a lot.Also the reason why they get interested in some one.And again I will not say that this is particular with the men.Women's also have the same nature.However exceptional cases are everywhere.

Answer 9

We (men) are weird, Katrina, and we ain't gonna change! When you understand that, then your one step ahead of the game. It's sad to say, but for a lot of red blooded American males...it's not the kill, it's the thrill of the chase. Human males are just another animal on the planet. We pick up on the female who is waggin' her tail and spraying her scent ,and we have to.....well, you know!! Then the thrill starts to diminish, when the waggin stops! By the way, men are not the only ones who change once a relationship starts.
That leads me to a question of my own....... I don't understand women at all !? What did you expect!

Answer 10

Once I realized that most of my interest in women was sexual, I stopped pursuing them almost completely. I've been single for coming on 10 years now because I haven't yet found a woman with whom I really feel a special connection. Most guys aren't willing to make that kind of change; I think many are torn between their sexual desire and their unwillingness to get too involved with the wrong woman.

Answer 11

Men are hard to understand, and sadly enough...we will never understand them! As much as we try to, it just cannot be done!
Some guys are just in it for the chase, when they want you, they HAVE to have you, just to say that they can get someone to fall for them or even to brag about to his friends. The most disrespectful men even make bets with their mates to 'bag the girl' - rude - so you have to be careful and not give in yet, "let him climb the mountain" as my mummy always says!!
They patronise you infront of their friends purely to show off and sort of brag about having a girlfriend.
Like women, mens moods change frequently, they're not gonna be sweet and nice to you 24/7, just like we're not! You just have to let them get on with it, and if they're distant it doesn't always mean something bad, they might just be chilled.
And i'm afraid that men don't really show emotion us much as women, you'll never know when they're upset because they're too stubborn to admit it or show their feelings! You just need to wait for that moment when they look into your eyes give you that look - you'll know the one i'm on about, you will experience it!