Should I be offended?

Question

just started a new job, and this guy that works with me, works in another room, and when he passes by , he always looks in the room,(but I guess that might not really mean anything) and everytime he passes by he always come in and chit chats, and he'll ask me what I'm doing(even though there are two people in the room) and he'll sit in my desk, and look at my computer, and ask ME stuff about politics, and news..I mean it's very casual but he always asks me if I went to lunch yet, and today, me and another co -worker sit in the same room and while they were talking I started doing my own thing typing my other friend on the computer, and he stood behind me and kept hitting my chair...and I'm thinking why does he keep doing that, and then he asks me if I know of a good church, because he hasnt been to one...'s been herein the city for almost eight years ...I'm confused as to why he's playing dumb and being nosey.. Well anyhow what do you think

Additional Details

26 minutes ago
plus...he came into my office and he was dancing and stuff acting silly, and I made a little joke, and he laughed so hard and he put his arm around my neck and gave me a small little hug...and asked me if I was watching the awards show, or if I had been to the county fair..because he notices that I be on all the websites...do you think he's just a brownoser or something else?

Another thing, is that he always comes into my audience talking about food,like he'll say"O h damn I want to go this restaraunt"Or do you know where I can get some fried chicken"?and he'll always ask me where did I go for lunch? And today I bought a cup of noodle for lunch and he's like'Oh how can you eat that it's so full of sodium" and I know I'm a little chubby so I'm started to wonder..is he trying to tell me something..keep in mind I've only known him for two weeks.geesh!

Answer 1

To me it sounds like his really goofy way of trying to hit on you.

Answer 2

Ok, so I agree that he is either hitting on you specifically OR that it could just be a normal (although annoying) behavior.

Obviously, the man has no boundaries. Since you are new to the job, you are an easy target. However, even though it is only an annoyance now, it can easily escalate. Although it may sound extreme, this is sexual harassment. He is slowly doing more and more intrusive things to see what he can get away with.

My advice would be to casually ask your co-workers (who have seen him in action longer than you)! Simply "So what's the story with 'John'?" will probably be enough to get some info. That way you can better evaluate his intentions. Either way, you still must draw the line in the sand, so to speak. Set a boundary. Being firm and assertive is not rude. You might find that by simply addressing the issue with him will help the situation. Even if he is harmless, his behavior is still not appropriate in the workplace.

Good luck!!

Answer 3

Considering the amount of time you've known each other, I'd say he's being intrusive. He may or may not mean to offend you, but if it were me, I'd be a little upset by the interrptions.
Maybe it's time to give him the talk about, this is work and I'm new here and want to do a good job. If he doesnt take the hint, be a little more frank with him. It's always possible that he's hitting on you, but mixing work and play is never a good idea. Personally, he sounds like a jerk to me.

Answer 4

He's trying to be friendly - and to get to know you - but he's going about it in a really stupid way.

Talk to your supervisor about Tom's interruptions and ask her what would be the best thing for you to do. Tom may be the nephew to the president or maybe he's fast-tracking to E-VP so you really don't want to make an enemy.

BUT explain to supervisor that you're concerned since you're still on probation etc. and want to do a good job.

AND THEN - with supervisor's approval, of course - when Tom comes in for his usual interruption you can bat your eyes and politely say, Tom, I wish I had time to chat with you - but I have a project that I need to finish. Can you come by later? Better yet, when you see my plant on this side of the desk, I'm available to chat. When it's over here, I need to be working. Thanks so much - I'll see you later on.

then place the plant on the "do not disturb" side and politely turn back to your work.

Answer 5

Sounds to me like the guy is flirting, in a weirdly awkward sort of way. He definitely sounds like he's not used to asking someone out...it's almost as if he's trying to get YOU to ask him out! If you are interested in him (and can get past the fact that he's looking at what websites you've been visiting- that IS a bit creepy), you may have to give him stronger signals that you would be interested in going out with him. If you aren't interested, it's time to turn into a human ice cube!

Answer 6

he must be the office perv. Every office has one, they try to make it seem like a "no big deal" situation to see how you handle things before they sweep in to offer their beds.

At my old office the final line was when the guy brought in a vibrator catalog and was asking the ladies which one we preferred. He was fired.

Answer 7

He has a crush on you. Its pretty obvious, he talks to you all the time, acts silly around you, laughs a lil too much at your jokes.

Answer 8

This guy sound so ridiculously corny! he is clearly hittin on you but going about it in his own unique weird way! get to know him, he seems fun you may end up liking him back...

Answer 9

I once had a stoker act like that. I think the guy is loony and I would give him a very cold shoulder.

Answer 10

Sounds like he might have a thing for you.