"I Don't Want What Everyone Else Is Wearing?" Is this a common attitude?

Question

I heard this on a jewelry store radio ad for, you guessed it...The Ring. The store sold a wide array of designs so you could allegedly find a "unique" (i,e., less likely to be duplicated by anyone you'll meet) piece.

When Miss 'Zilla's haughty tones issued the "I don't want what everyone else is wearing" statement, I immediately started hoping the groom would pull a male version of the Runaway Bride. This poor sap is going to go in debt up to his eyeballs for her One Of A Kind (not) sparkler. Oy vey. Run, groom, run.

Is this the prevailing attitude today? I Want What I Want Because I'm Worth It?

I *ASKED* if it was the common attitude today, Ms. X. Your response was not a question or answer, incidentally, and you are free to block me.

Answer 1

oy vey is right
I married the man not the ring . I was very specific about what I wanted. No diamond for me, thank you very much. My grandparents were married for almost 50 years (til death did part them) and I wanted exactly what my g'ma had - a little gold band. Bless him, that's what I got - that and 11 anniversaries so far.

Answer 2

It's just natural that everyone wants their one day to be special. There is nothing wrong with that.

Sadly, the wedding industry and advertisement prey on people's emotions and guilt people into paying a huge mark up just because it's lableded "wedding", "unique" or special.

What people don't realize is that those rings, wedding dresses etc. are made in mass quantities and they are all the same, so there is really nothing "unique" about it... but hey, they sucessfully made you thing that your "ring" is one of a kind and makes one happy, well good for them.

If it's not a limited edition Tiffanny setting, a custom made jewelry or a certified vintage Gucci piece, there is nothing "unique" about a ring that people sold over the radio with a whinny voice.

I see through all that marketing crap and don't let myself get fooled around.

EDIT: After attending so many weddings, I've been having a real hard time trying to find different options from what everyone else is doing/wearing. I've been to 6 weddings in one year, that leaves little room for creativity. Yes, women do get preocupied about being accused of "copying" their ideas. Trying to come up with something new or different is giving me a headache. An no, I don't want to wear what everyone else is wearing either and there is nothing wrong with that.

Good luck

Answer 3

Well, yeah, I DO want my ring to be different. Notice I didn't say "more expensive" or "bigger" or "flashier". But I really don't want what everyone else has. My ring is a family heirloom from my fiance's family. It is a 1920s art-deco style ring that you couldn't find now. I love a lot of things about the ring (while the diamonds are small, and its appraisal value is relatively low, it has such history and connection and meaning, which are way more important), not least of which is that I'm not going to see it on anyone else's hand. So, while I do want what you suggested, it is not for the reasons you supposed. It has nothing to do with a sense that "I'm worth it", and everything to do with I want to be me.

My fiance was concerned that I might not like the ring, and he wanted me to have something bigger and more expensive--he talked about having the stones reset, or getting a different ring altogether. Finally, one day before he gave the ring to me, and before I'd seen it, I told him that even if I thought it was the ugliest ring on Earth, I wouldn't trade it for anything. It is not the ring's looks or cost that are important, it's the meaning. He stopped worrying about it then and believed even more firmly that he's getting a good wife. And, I do just happen to like the ring (that no one else has)!

Answer 4

First of all unique does not have to equal outrageously expensive. Every woman wants to consider herself as a unique individual - I would hope the same for men. That being said she doesn't want to have her engagement ring, which is supposed to be a special thing between she and her fiance, to be as common as the next gals. There is always a little something even about a solitaire - the cut, the prong setting, the band, SOMETHING special to her.

As for the prevailing attitude question, tying it in with 'I'm worth it' - isn't everyone worth a little bit more to that certain someone? If you wanted a special ring for the one you loved, wouldn't going out and looking at as many as possible be 'worth it' for the person? I guess what I'm saying is the definition of 'worth it' is relevant to the people involved.

Answer 5

GRRRRRGGGRRRRR!!!!!
I wanted something a little different but lets face it, it's all been done and nothing to originally anymore unless you get something completely bizarre and off the wall. I got an oval diamond that he could afford- I love it! We picked it out a Tiffany's and then had someone else knock it off :)
I just wanted a nice ring- no whining, no demanding- just something that looked nice for everyday wear.

I think this Whiney Zilla bride's are coming from the younger generations. We are paying for our whole wedding and everything in between- when it's your money your spending- I think reality sets in quickly. You don't whine and cry when it's your money :) only when you spending some elses!!

Answer 6

All the rings I see brides wear, tend to look exactly the same, so I'm not seeing this attitude. In fact, when we went to jewelry district, every jeweler was trying to sell us the same ring because it was what everyone was wearing, not because it was the most expensive.
Unique to me means not having a typical diamond, but some other stone instead. I didn't want to wear what everyone else is wearing, so I told my fiance if he wants my opinion, I want a sapphire ring. And that's what I got. He didn't go into debt, and anyone who would go into debt over a ring, isn't mature to be married.

Answer 7

Well, kind of. I can only tell you from personal experience. I am a person that strives to be unique and doesn't like to be seen in ANYTHING (including ring) that anyone else has. Yet, my fiance and I set a budget and I gave him 1/2 of the money up front. I knew that his budget wouldn't allow for the ring I "dreamed of" and I knew that if I was going to be specific about what I wanted we had to come to an agreement somewhere. I wanted a ring that is classic, yet glamorous. Something I can be proud of and wear FOREVER (no up-grades in the future). And I specified pave style. From there he went and picked out "the perfect ring" all on his own and proposed last Sunday. I could not be happier, period.

Answer 8

Who says he's going into debt?????

That's a huge generalization. You don't know everyone financially situation. Most man decided months in advance that they are going to propose to their girlfriends. Therefore, they begin to save. Most men (smart men anyway) would
pick a certain amount (say $1,500 comfortable, but then save up and extra $1000 or so.)

Second, I think if you love someone then you should be able to express your desires. It's OK not to want to be like everyone else. In fact, aren't we raised it not right to be a clone of the next girl. I would say, that I would like something unquie to my boyfriend.

We have been dating 3 years and I'm not a Zilla. But, if asked I do have the right to let him know how I feel. After such a long time, he should KNOW my tastes. If he doesn't like the fact that I prefer to be original, then I'm not the right girl for him.

Most men LOVE their women and will take their suggestions well. They won't get offended. Women are hard to shop for.

I think you need to check your generalizations at the door.

Plus, you played right into commericalism. It's the media that is telling women, there rings have to be unquie. And you feel for it.

Answer 9

I'm not going to generalize, all I can tell you is my attitude on the subject. I don't really care what is trendy or unique, I care about what I like. That applies to everything - not just rings. That being said, my ring is not unique. It was my great grandmothers. When we went to get it sized our jeweler told us they still make the same setting. Do I care? No, because it means more to me than that. I would think/hope most people feel the same way.

Answer 10

Every woman is worth having a unique ring. But that doesn't not mean that the man will go into debt. My boy will not be spending any money on my ring. (I want to use my great-grandmother's ring that she left to me.) But, yet I will not find any other person with that ring. If we were not using that ring I would still want something that is unique. I wouldn't want to show my friends my ring and them be like, o wow...that's just like mine (or my friends).