i have a 6 month old daughter and she is the cuttiest i have a big problem though her daddy doesent come to see her. the last time he sor her was 7 and a half weeks ago he doesent phone or anythin her daddys family doesent come to see her what do i do can any one help please
2007-09-13 06:36:06 · 21 answers · asked by sam h 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
M.A.U.R.Y. SHOW
2007-09-13 06:40:02 · answer #1 · answered by gusgonova 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OBVIOUSLY he was not ready to be a Daddy, and his family feels the same way - there is NOTHING you can do except offer them the chance to be involved in her life, but you have to understand they have the right to say NO. These are the kinds of heartaches women face when they decide to be a single Mom, and THE reason I am so totally against it. That cute little baby does not deserve to be without the benefit of her Daddy or his family because you chose to have unprotected unwed sex.
2007-09-13 13:46:56 · answer #2 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know where he is? Send him a picture of her and let him know how important it is for him to be a father to her. Do not discuss how you feel about him, just stick to the fact that she needs a father. Do you still have feelings for him? If you do, you are going to have to put them aside and just focus on the relationship that your daughter and him should have. Does his family know about her? Send them a picture also. Let them know that you want them to have a relationship with her. Maybe he is telling them something different....Could be he is denying paternity and they do not want to fall in love with a child that is not their grandchild. You need to be mature in handling the situation. Put your daughters needs above your own. If you know you have done all you can to get him and his family to have a relationship with her and they choose not to, then you will need to move on and take it as a lesson learned. Focus on giving her the best life possible, emotionally, physically and spiritually. Someday you will find a good man and he will love and cherish you and her. Take it slow and use wisdom in all your choices. All you do and say now will effect this child. Be Wise! God Bless!!
2007-09-13 14:57:13 · answer #3 · answered by kymmy_kins 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey, dont make an issue of it now, however, keep note of the when he has seen her - A DIARY - of your daughter and her dad - and document all visits, all monies received all gifts etc - take pics of them together so you can have evidence - if it comes to that, hopefully not.
Right now, i am guessing money is not a problem for you and your daughter but if it is talk to him and if the result is positive fine but if not then u have to seek her interest, formally - MEANING - legally....BUT DOCUMENT ALL interaction with him and you and him and his daughter.
This is not paranoia; its called reality and being prepared.
My advice about the lack of visits - call him and talk to him about it - just the visits - if he is unreceptive to the idea then you cant force it - i mean you already have sole custody - since u r the primary caregiver - the mommy.
Just love her, everday and teach her values and morals and if she asks about her dad eventually - have an answer ready.
You know what u r doing a great job and keep doing what u r doing - she is doing fine.
2007-09-13 13:53:35 · answer #4 · answered by Trini Trixie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummm.... my son is 4 and his dad sees him maybe once a yr. Noone in his family even knows my son exists I don't think. His dad was 47 when I had him, we had dated for 5 yrs off and on, so he wasn't immature and our relationship was not a casual one and he had other children so it's not like he didn't know how to take care of a child. My son's dad just point blank did not want my son. Too bad, not my problem. I still make sure he pays child support and I try not to bash him to my son. Someday, I know my son's dad will feel regret and will attempt to reconcile and I don't want him to try to use me as an excuse, like I kept him from seeing our son. My son is beautiful, funny, loving, smart. Everyone that meets him loves him. I met a guy about 18 mos ago and we got married. He is wonderful to my son . I know it hurts to have your child be ignored or unacknowledged by their own father. I used to think about it and wanted to cut tires or blow **** up. It seriously caused me to cry rivers. But, time has passed now and it has gotten easier. In fact, I like the fact that I have no hassles, no custody disputes, no dealings with him at all , no hassles or fights. I can take full credit for how cool my kid is. I honestly never thought my son would have a father figure and it really tore me up, th guilt. Kids can be raised by one parent. I actually got such a confidence boost by thinking, "Damn ! I am doing this and doing a good job! " ( I have no other family I speak to either so I did it TOTALLY ALONE !) Noone can "make" him see her. You shouldn't have to. I'm sorry this is happening to you but it sounds like you are going to have to get a thick skin and toughen up and raise your daughter. DO NOT beg or try to force him to see her.Move on and focus on the fact that you have a beautiful baby. You can't make someone do what they don't want. BUT, you can make sure that asshole pays child support so you can care for your baby. Get a court ordered wage garnishment where you don't have to deal with him, you just get your support. And if he doesn't pay, he'll go to jail where maybe he can think about his poor choice to not be in her life. Myabe he will come around and have a change of heart, maybe he won't. Either way, you got a beautiful baby.
2007-09-13 14:13:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have two beautiful sons who are now 6 and 11 and they haven't had their fathers in their lives in a while. I have talked with alot of friends who are dealing with the same and we have yet to come up with an answer. Right now you need to worry about your child and take him in for support. From there he can get visitation if he wants...alot of times they come around and sometimes they don't just make sure no matter what that you don't speak ill of her father in front of her. always let her know he loves her and keep the door open to it. Just dont let it become a revolving door for her sake.
2007-09-13 13:52:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, maybe this guy is comfortable with things the way things are. you need to tell him everything is changed now, he has a Daughter! Maybe he is still coming to terms with it all, and doesn't want to come and see her because he feels ashamed he hasnt come before. Ring him, and invite him round. Make sure he comes round, and make him dinner. Explain the situation and speak to him asking why he doesnt want to see her, if he wants the best for his daughter he will see her. If he isnt living with yiou and you arent together anymore suggest to him that he could be an "uncle" to your child. Then he wont feel as much pressure, and when she's old enough he can explain everything to her.
2007-09-13 13:43:38 · answer #7 · answered by Zorro. 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can't really force the father to see your daughter. But file for Child Support. Even if you were not married. He will regret it later on. Send him pictures of her every so often, it will keep him in contact. That is what I did only because my daughter's father was in Florida and I moved back home near family in Wisconsin. I told him he is most welcome to call her or write to her. He does neither and now he regrets it. Because my daughter doesn't want anything to do with him. All because he was never there for her. I don't want her to hate him. So I told her that he's going to try to do better he's going to write to you. she didn't believe me cause he says he will do something and not come through. But I am still trying to keep him in her life. You have to keep him in her life. just send pictures and when she get's old enough tell her about her father and if you have pictures give her one to keep. or put it in her room in a frame. And when she get older like 6 or 7 years old call him and have him talk on the phone. but if he doesn't want to be around her you really can't do anything about it or his family. But do seek child support from the father. good luck !
2007-09-13 17:12:35 · answer #8 · answered by jennajade 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, you need to be saying "our daughter" not "my daughter". Maybe he is not ready to be a daddy. Maybe he will never be ready, and you need to prepare yourself for that possibility.
No matter what, he is responsible for the child, and if you have not already done so, you will need to apply for child support through your local child support bureau.
My two younger boys' father rejected them, won't have anything to do with them. They hate him for it. They grieved terribly.
I hope this is just a misunderstanding and he comes back and is a great daddy for your daughter. Call him up and ask him what is the deal, is he going to be a part of her life or not?
2007-09-13 13:49:37 · answer #9 · answered by Pixie 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She is six months old, he has no attachment to her. Not everybody has an automatic bond. Plus maybe he doesn't want an attachment. Maybe he's running away from it. No matter what he's doing you shouldn't worry about what he's doing. You can make him do a thing. Except pay. It's probably better you know about him now then after a few years of getting you butt kicked.
2007-09-13 13:44:44 · answer #10 · answered by Chuck J 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This means that he doesn't want to assume any responsibility in the up bring of you baby , I am sorry to tell you that you but you are on your own !
Who needs a father like this anyway! What makes me sad, is that when this man is old and as no one else to care for him ,then he will remember that he has a daughter ,this is unfortunate!
You will make it on your own if you work hard on her up bringing .
Keep telling yourself that and you will be fine .
2007-09-13 13:53:22 · answer #11 · answered by bornfree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋