I hide chocolate from my husband, and he gets all mad when he finds it and tells me I'm hoarding,?

Question

But I'm only hiding it because I'm on a really good healthy diet now, no "out" food, no junk, and I'm exercising regularly but sometimes a woman just NEEDS some chocolate. I know giving into a little chocolate occasionally isn't bad. I hide it because my husband gorges himself on any sweets he can get. He is getting severely overweight and hates when I make a comment about "Are you sure you want to eat that?" but, not like that. Like, nicer. Lol. He just... I feel like he's self destructive, and I don't want to have NO chocolate at all, but I can't regulate his - I'm not his mother!!! - he has no self control and I have seen him eat a sleeve of oreos like nothing, with our son's whole milk when we were out of our skim. Yuck! He eats ice cream, cookies, anything! I just want my own goodies to treat myself, not come home after work and eat everything we have in the house so that it's gone. You know? What do I do? Keep chocolate hidden, or gone entirely? How do I approach him about this?

Answer 1

Wow. Your husband has the emotional maturity and self-control of a 5 year old. What would you do if you wanted to have an occaisional treat but didn't want your 5 year old to throw a temper tantrum every time he saw you with candy or cookies. Hide them from him, of course. Your husband needs to learn self control. He needs to understand why it is that he continues to punish himself with something that should be good for him and bring him pleasure. Tell him bluntly that the chocolate that you buy belongs to you to eat gradually, when you want. Tell him that as soon as he learns to stop treating food like it's an addictive substance, you will be glad to keep it out in the open. Tell him when he develops adult eating habits, you won't need to hid the chocolate anymore. I would recommend buying just a candy bar or two when you feel like eating chocolate, so if he finds it, he can't gorge himself. For your husband, I would recommend counseling so he can figure out what emotional void he's trying to fill with food.

Answer 2

Hoarding defined:

Collecting and putting things away in a guarded manner.
www.alz.org/Resources/Glossary.asp

It is the act of holding money. If the desire to hoard increases the result will be (assuming that no new money is created) that money incomes will fall. Conversely, if there is a fall in the desire to hold money, incomes will rise. If an increase in the quantity of money circulating brings about a fall in the velocity of circulation or an increase in the volume of trade, then the increased quantity of money need not be accompanied by any rise in the price level.
www.indiainfoline.com/bisc/jmeh.html

Hoarding is the storing of food or other goods. Hoarding of food is a natural behaviour in certain species of animals. It occurs in two forms: *larder hoarding, the collection of large amounts of food in a single place (a larder), which usually also serves as the nest where the animal lives. Hamsters are famous larder hoarders. ...
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hoarding

Technically you *are* hoarding. Since he seems to get into a snit everytime he finds one, don't hoard them... When you want to treat yourself, walk to the corner store and buy yourself a chocolate bar. Alternatively, if you know for sure he never goes into your dresser, put your stash there.

If you WANT to start a fight over the matter, ask him why he's trying to eat himself into the grave. Ask him how he's going to feel when he realises that he'll probably never see your kid(s) grow-up.

Talk to a councillor about your husband's behaviour. Is it sudden, or has he been doing this since you can remember? He may have had something occur and he's depressed.

Answer 3

My guess is that it has nothing to do with the chocolate - he is upset that you have the self control to only have a piece of candy, not the entire thing. He is also probably upset that you are taking control of your weight and your health, and he probably feels helpless. Keep your chocolate at work (or in your car, but that could get messy). You need to speak frankly with your husband about your concern for his health and his happiness. Perhaps he should consult with his doctor and a nutritionist. You can't force him to quit his bad eating habits any more than you can force a smoker or an alcoholic to quit. But you can express your concern, refrain from nagging, and encourage him to take whatever steps he is ready for (any type of exercise or limitation of sweets).

Answer 4

For starters don't buy any sweets or treats to keep in the house. This sounds hard but it's one way of regulating the amount of goodies that's in your house. And also you might want to tell your hubby that if he continues to eat like that, that diabeties and high blood pressure can be the ending result of all his happy sweet eating times. Talk to him and try to get him to exercise and diet with you. Good Luck!

Answer 5

That's a tough one. You're definitely entitled to have some chocolate around, but I guess it's not really right to hide it from your husband. Maybe keep some at work (if you work), so you can have some there. But, your bigger issue here is that your healthy ways and his unhealthy ways are going to continue to butt heads, and it could present a problem in your marriage. You guys need to work on it now, before it gets out of hand, especially since you're new to the healthy diet thing. Trust me, it was a huge problem with my ex-husband and myself. Try to work it out on your own, and if that doesn't work, try to get some counseling. Because if you think about, being healthy is a completely different lifestyle than not being healthy. It doesn't stop at snacks: dinners become more difficult because he'll still want crap, and you'll want lots of veggies, when you want to go for a walk, he'd rather sit on the couch. Before you know it, it gets out of hand. Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to warn you. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Buy some nice, somewhat expensive chocolate. If he finds it tell him it was a gift from a girlfriend for helping her with something and you were keeping it for a treat for yourself after a good week of working out. That you want it to last because you only have a little square each week or so. Sounds like you need to take him to the doctor and have you and the doctor talk to him about limiting his snacks. He's going down a road of behavior that'll be tough to change. I like to gorge now and then and I tell myself, "small portions, your getting a belly". Once he understands maybe he'll change his eating habits and cut down.

Answer 7

you should definitely sit down and talk to him about your concern that he's getting severely overweight. bring him to his doctor even just so that he is aware of his weight and the negative effects that can come from it: obesity, heart disease, etc. when grocery shopping, try not to get so many sweets. you can still buy sweets; in fact, there are many kinds of sweets out there that CAN be relatively healthy for you such as wheat thins, graham crackers, yogurt, and low fat oreos/icecream/cookies etc. i wouldn't hide chocolate from him b/c that only seems to make him even angrier? whenever you're out of the house or when he's not with you, you can consume your chocolate there. hope this helps!

Answer 8

He has to be responsible for himself just as you do..Buy what you want when you want it..don't keep it in the house..if you really need it, then go to the store and get it..saying anything about your husbands weight except I worry for your health is just the excuse he needs to over eat..He will come to his senses on his own..good luck.

Answer 9

Eh, keep a bar in your purse for those 'when a woman needs it' times... he does at least respect your space enough to not go digging in your purse, right?

Or, maybe hide a bag of the little bite size ("fun size"?) individually wrapped ones where he can't find it easily...BUT, if you snitch one, then share and go hand him just one. On the condition that if it goes looking for them, then the sharing deal it off and no more for him. ; )

Answer 10

I think the easiest thing to do would be to not have it in the house entirely. You guys want to treat yourself, go out for some ice cream or something that is away from the house.