My fiance and I have been invited to my fiance's co-worker's wedding in October. It will be very small, but the ceremony is going to be at a time that my fiance and I can not go to because that morning is my fiance's 4 year old's dance recitial, however we can make the reception. Is it rude just to come to the reception?
2007-09-13 05:54:40 · 39 answers · asked by Jasmine 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Trust me, if it weren't for the recital we'd be going.
2007-09-13 06:07:03 · update #1
Wounded Duck, this is his daughter's recital that's she has worked so hard on. We would LOVE to attend the ceremony, but we can't.
2007-09-13 06:08:56 · update #2
This may help: we don't know the co-worker or his fiance that well. He just started working for my fiance last month.
2007-09-13 06:13:13 · update #3
Ok alot of the answers were all basically the same in todays society couples invite hordes of people to their wedding to show off not because they genuinely care that all of these people are there. So many people are on here complaining that they dont want cousin becky at their wedding cos she is a rude bi*ch but mom says she has to be invited. No it is a wedding ceremony that is about the couple getting married not about the show of people at the ceremony. Being a newer acquaintance of your fiance unless they are really good friends the co-worker is inviting as a come share this day with us and not feel overlooked or slighted in anyway not as I truly want you to be involved in my new life with this person.
The recital takes precedence and as earlier stated by many people alot of the ceremonys are more intimate and then the reception a great big party. I am sure that the couple will understand the daughters recital taking precedence and will be happy to have you attend the reception
2007-09-20 06:24:08 · answer #1 · answered by galixcysmagic 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What i would do is explain to the bride and groom, tell them that you feel really bad, but you have this prior engagement that is important to you both.
Tell them you wish you could be there but would still like to come to the reception if that is ok.
I am sure they would be fine with it and understand. It would be rude if you didnt go to the wedding and just went to the reception for the free feed and booze, without a legitimate reason. But you do have one.
I think it would be good manners to explain it before hand so there are no misunderstandings.
Truth be known tho, they probably wouldnt notice if you were at the wedding or not. Most weddings there are so many people it is overwhelming. You could never say who was or wasnt there.
2007-09-13 11:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by bluegirl6 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not rude at all, it's a very typical thing that some people don't attend the wedding and just go to the reception. It's very important to attend the recital -- your fiance's daughter will only be 4 once, and it's my policy that family comes first!! usually on the RSVP card there's a place to indicate whether you will attend just ceremony, just reception, or both -- or neither.
so go enjoy the recital -- then go enjoy the reception!!
but DON'T enjoy ANY guilt!!!
2007-09-13 07:56:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
In general, yes, but in this instance I believe your fiance's daugther's event takes precedence over the wedding.
Here's the point that most people miss about weddings - it's about the CEREMONY not the party. By being invited to a wedding you are being asked to share in the public commitment that these 2 people are about to make. The party is merely a bonus to celebrate their profession of love & fidelity.
If you are only going to go to the reception, be sure that you make it abundantly clear to your fiance's co-worker that you WOULD be at the ceremony if it weren't for the recital, but that you would like to congratulate them and celebrate by attending the reception later on.
2007-09-13 06:07:25 · answer #4 · answered by amazing_creation 3 · 7⤊ 0⤋
Don't just skip the ceremony without communicating WAY AHEAD OF TIME to the bride and groom.
Your fiance needs to write a polite note or email to the bride and groom outlining the time conflict, and ask them permission to go to recital first, and then join them at the wedding reception. It is ONLY OK IF they say it is!
Normally, if you are invited to both, you NEED to go to both-- people who just skip the ceremony for the heck of it (slept in, aren't interested) are being RUDE RUDE RUDE. But, with a conflict like this, you can communicate ahead of time and try to ameliorate the situation.
2007-09-13 14:13:43 · answer #5 · answered by Etiquette Gal 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a legitimate excuse for missing the wedding. So no, I would not consider it rude. But it would be considerate for your fiance to mention to the co-worker that you will be disappointed to miss the wedding so that you can attend the recital. They'll understand.
What would be rude is if you just blew off the wedding and only went to the reception.
2007-09-13 13:05:21 · answer #6 · answered by ds37x 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When my best friend and my boyfriend's best friend got married in April, my boyfriend was only able to attend the reception because he had to work that day and couldn't get out of it. The bride and groom understood the situation and were just happy he was able to make it at all on their big day!
Since we're only talking about your fiance's co-worker in your case, I think going to his 4-year-old's recital is much more important. Tell your fiance to explain the situation to his co-worker, and I'm sure the co-worker will understand.
Good luck!
2007-09-13 06:02:51 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
first of all no matter what anyone says i applaud you and your fiance for putting family first - going to the daughter's recital is far more important than a wedding ceremony.
and i think when your fiance sends his r.s.v.p. in he can put a note in saying that a prior engagement prevents your attending the ceremony but you will both be pleased to attend the reception and toast the happy couple!
2007-09-17 19:42:50 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say it's fine, best to ask the couple. Inform them that the daughter's recital is at the same time as their ceremony but you would still be able to make it to their reception and that you would love to be able to come and congratulate them in person on their marriage but if they would prefer you to not come to the reception if you can't make it to the wedding you would be more than understanding.
2007-09-13 06:15:50 · answer #9 · answered by Manny 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Not at all. Because of scheduling conflicts many people cannot set aside an entire day for someone else's wedding, unless they are actually in it. Most rational people realize this, or at least they should. Have your fiance explain it to his co-worker and there should be no problems.
Enjoy the reception!
2007-09-13 06:04:15 · answer #10 · answered by Cory C 5 · 5⤊ 0⤋