is it fair to raise your children in your belief structure or religion or lack thereof without presenting all?

Question

beliefs/religions/lack thereof?

just because you believe in something (or nothing) doesn't make it true, but only true to you.

i think to only teach your children your personal belief system is in fact closing their minds to all of the other wonderful possibilities that exist

what do you think?

CJ - part of being a parent is doing what's best for your children - not what's best for you!!!!

please live up to your responsibilities of being a parent if or when you have kids

sassinya - how about showing the children similarities rather than differences. this would be much more positive and beneficial

ricardo - i'm pagan. my kids have always been taught about other religions and are truly free to choose for themselves

alleninthehills - go back to the hills, that way of thinking is disgusting

blueink - are you some kind of troll? i know tons of pagan parents, and NEVER have any of them said such strange things. your kids are going to need therapy no matter what? umm then you may want to rethink your parenting tecniques.

Answer 1

I have just recently experienced this argument with my youngest son. I am Pagan, but was once a Christian. There has been questions over the years, most of them have been fairly easy to answer. The harder questions came after they lost their half-brother three years ago to heart complications from Downs Syndrome.

I can't even remember the specific question but we ended up on the subject of Christianity and going to church. Also in the conversation I was asked what I believe in. I was very honest with him, but also explained that it was a faith I came to after taking time to inquire for myself after I became an adult. As the conversation went on, he asked if we could start going to church (christian church). I told him it was something that I myself was not comfortable with because of what I now believe but that if this was something he truly felt he needed to do, then we could call grandma and I know she would be "totally stoked" to have him go to church with her. The conversation was left with me telling him to just let me know when he wanted me to call grandma.

While it is important to allow your children to experience things for themselves, I think it is something that shouldn't be introduced to your child until they ask. I personally feel that if you teach your child too many things about religion at one time, you are going to create in them a confusion and a frustration that could cause more "problems" than it solves.

When portrayed and utilized in its purest forms, religious doctrine can indeed be a positive and sometimes necessary part of a persons life, but I think it is something that each person should explore in their own time and at their own pace with NO ONE telling them which one is any better than the other.

There are many truths and many paths that lead to the Divine. Children should be given the opportunity to explore as many of the paths they wish to explore, as long as these paths cause no harm. However, their exploration should be at THEIR pace, not ours!

Answer 2

I very much agree, I am teaching my children about different belief systems and hope they will find what they are comfortable with.
However I will add that most are still likely to follow in the footsteps of their parents in the end. I think either way kids are more likely to believe as their parents did, but at least by teaching my kids I know they will understand other religions and be more accepting of them no matter their choice.

Answer 3

You are right in so many ways. I was just about to ask that question sister!

In my opinion, It is fair to teach your child personal beliefs to an extent. I'll teach them my pagan ways until they reach the age of 13. After that they have a choice to what ever spiritual path they want. I'm not a parent, but If i have kids one day, I want them to be happy. The only one and right path is a path that we are all happy with. I don't care if they choose christianity Athiest and Satan. It matters not to me as long as they are happy with what they want. As a parent you know what's best for them, but what ever choices they make, you must still supervise them until 18. But I can still keep them away from their friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, or their path, ONLY if they are getting themselves hurt or in trouble. If they are doing drugs and killing people, I will take them away from whatever i think is causing it.

Answer 4

Yes, it is not only fair but wise. The premise that Christianity is only true for me is false. If Christianity were only true for me, I would not believe it--it would merely be an idle fantasy. The truth of Christianity depends on historical events--a miraculous birth, a coherent new revelatory message about God, a well-documented history of miraculous works of mercy, equanimity under death of torture, and resurrection from the dead.

Because these vindicating events actually happened, it would be irresponsible to treat Christianity like some personal fantasy rather than the history of the world that necessitates a personal response. But it is an exaggeration to say that instructing children in Christianity closes their minds. Of our four children, only two are active Christians, and of these, one is conflicted and the other has joined an evangelical church. Thus, as a matter of fact, they retain free will to serve Christ or not.

Cheers,
Bruce

Answer 5

I agree with you.
When telling my younger children about one of my beliefs i also include another side to it. For example When speaking about the summerlands i will also say " Other people believe there is a place called heaven where you can go if you are good , but if you are bad you go to a nasty horrible place called hell"~"I dont believe that the Goddess or God would want to punnish us like that but some people do".
So yes i think it is wise to tell your children the whole story of religion, not just your chapter.
Ariel

Answer 6

I am a Pagan, but I am unable to teach my children about my religion for obvious reasons. However, relatives have been teaching them Christianity, which is bugging me a little. Its okay for right now though because atleast Christianity teaches of how to properly behave and treat others. However, I think it will be more important when they are old enough to think critically about religions that I will introduce them to different world religions. As a Pagan, I don't believe in pushing any faith on anybody.

Answer 7

I believe it is impossible not to raise your kids with a foundation of your own belief system. I have tried to raise my kids with the attitude that knowledge is great and they should first find that, then decide what they believe. It has worked well for them. They all have their own copies of the baghadavita, catholicism, protestantism, native american beliefs, etc. I have taken them to different functions (mass, sweat lodges, etc.) at different religions because I believe that it is important to understand beliefs so that you may best understand their own beliefs. I also believe growth comes best in opposition - it helps you define your system of beliefs.

That being said, it is a personal choice, and you have to honor what others may choose for their own as well. As such, I also have my kids study philosophy and psychology so that they might know how best to communicate respectfully with others.

Answer 8

Religion is the politics of a belief. It has nothing to do with the belief in a Creator as most people do, even people who hate religion. Everyone has the same gates to their spirituality, dreams and visions (Numbers 12:6). Not everyone uses them. What you are liking is probably her integrity (self-honesty) and her ability to see through the lies and opinions that infect society and (hopefully) religion. If we want a peaceful world we have to expect that many people's views we can agree with except those who wear opinions (based on half truths and lies) like a badge or shield. Everyone dreams, and that input many times per sleep is the primary Source of our truth, success, creativity, health and good relationships, and timely knowledge on many subjects as well as cautions and warnings of things harmful or endangering to us. Does that help open your mind to the world and other wonderful people in it?

Answer 9

They have their whole life to decide which way they will go. Every parent no matter what they believe instill their beliefs in their children because they think that is the right thing to do. I do not believe that closes anyone's minds. We all have free will - even children. If a child asks questions about other beliefs or lifestyles I believe you should answer those questions honestly.

Answer 10

If you have children, they are going to be raised in whatever religious structure you practice, or do not practice at home, no way around that.

No parent however should force their child into accepting a religious path simply because they the parent thinks its the one the child should follow.

Live your religious lifestyle or lack of it, but love your child enough to allow them to question without condemnation. Love your child enough to allow them to pick the spiritual path that calls them.