Two years ago my ex-wife passed away. At the time my kids lived with her but now live with me. My wife now and the ex never got along. Anyway, here is my question. I have alot of old photos that are of my kids and their mother. My kids would like to have a picture or two to have around in their rooms. But my wife doesn't want them out in the open(I feel this way too). I thought that once they(the kids) were out on their own that they could have whatever pics they wanted. Is it wrong to do this? Very confused on this sometimes. Please help!!!!
2007-09-13 03:42:22 · 13 answers · asked by Scott R 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I appreciate the answers so far. But to let everyone know I did not say I wouldn't allow them to have them. They have pics of her.
2007-09-13 04:30:02 · update #1
Compromise
Children can be very sensitive when it comes down to their parents; especially if one is deceased. I suggest that you support them by having them put up a picture of her in their room. Since you and your wife don't feel comfortable about having her picture up in the general community, maybe you could say something like, "Why don't we put this picture up on your bedroom wall, so that your mom can always watch over you." Or something to that affect.
I hope this works for you.
2007-09-13 04:10:36 · answer #1 · answered by Tredigity 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There's nothing wrong with the kids having pictures of their mother around their room. It doesn't insult or disrespect your wife or your marriage at all. Don't punish the kids because your wife and ex didn't get along.
You're wife needs to be an adult. This was their mother. She has passed. Come on.
This should be a list of your priorities in order 1 father 2 husband.
2007-09-13 11:22:52 · answer #2 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is wrong to deny them photos of their mother. She is deceased and your children are grieving. You and your current wife have to respect that without any animosity. Remember you are the adult here.
Here is a suggestion, allow them to keep a framed photo each preferably next to their beds and with the rest help them make a scrapbook or an album. I don't think it will hurt to allow them a photo.
2007-09-13 11:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by erica2368 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think it’s very selfish of your wife and you to deny your children the right to have a picture of their mother in their rooms.
On what grounds do you possibly think it would be ‘ok’ to forbid that? What difference does it make that the pictures are 'in the open' (and by the way, they wouldn’t be, they would be in the children’s room)? This is their mother who they love and is now deceased (she is no threat to either you or your wife).
Don’t be a jerk.
2007-09-13 11:49:36 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was their mother, you and your current wife should put aside your own feelings, and consider the kids. As long as the pictures are in their rooms, I don't see a problem with it.
2007-09-13 11:06:21 · answer #5 · answered by ♥sick n tired♥ 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think your kids should have a right to have there mothers pictures around it will help with the healing process if there in there rooms what does it matter they need there memories you cant just shut it away.
im sorry to say but your wife is wrong not to let them have pictures of there mum.
i would never have forgave my dad if he done that to me when i lost my mum soooo please let them have some pics there in there room and out of the way so what does it matter
2007-09-13 11:02:11 · answer #6 · answered by kathill73 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You might put the photos in albums for your kids to keep in their rooms in a private place. And explain to them that for now this is the best plan but when they have their own place they will be able to do as they wish with the photos. I think it is very important for your kids to have these reminders of their mother available.
2007-09-13 10:52:52 · answer #7 · answered by Puzzler 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Why would you not want to allow your children to have pictures of their dead mom in your house?? What could have possibly happened in your marriage to deny this woman's existence???? Guess what, she did exist --- your children are the proof. Their world has been turned upside down ---and you are denying them this "little" bit of comfort?? I think you and your wife need to grow up and think aboout what is best for your children. After all, you are supposed to be the adults in the household -- though, your action certainly don't reflect that.
2007-09-13 11:17:08 · answer #8 · answered by Maria H 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Been in that spot. But that is the kids mother, and she deserves to be known by them, If your relationship to your present wife is not adult enough to handle that perhaps you should have a long discussion with her over the fact that its not an issue in your relationship but in your kids relationship to their mother.
2007-09-13 11:04:37 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is still jealous of a dead woman? Have alittle compassion for your children who lost their mother, and put a couple of small pictures in frames and put them in their rooms. Children remember kindness and pass it on.
2007-09-13 10:58:05 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋