How do I ask without being rude?

Question

When my husband told his parents that I was pregnant they promised us a crib and other things that they had in storage from his sister's last baby. His mom also told him she would have a baby shower for us as this is his first child. In the last few months they've had a falling out over something stupid and now his mom is saying she isn't having a shower and hasn't given any of the stuff she said she would. I'm 32.5 weeks and would really like to have the babies room ready soon but I have nothing. I want to ask her if we are still going to get the things she has or if I have to go out and buy them. How can I ask her without being rude? I know I still have time but we're on a tight budget and I need to know so I can accommodate this expense into my budget. I don't want her to feel pressured and back away from us even more but I really need to know if we're still getting this stuff. Any ideas or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

maybe call her and ask "how big is that crib you're giving us, i want to make sure i make room for it in the baby's room?" or tell her you are tring to get everything lined up and you were wondering what exactly she has in storage so you know what you still need to buy..good luck in laws can be tricky.

Answer 2

You said the falling out was between your hubby and mom, so you should still be able to ask her for the crib, just say: I know you said a few months back that you had a crib we could barrow for your grand baby may we please have that as we're trying to get his/her room together.
Then see if one of your close friends is willing to throw you a baby shower. I would just not ask the MIL about a shower.

Answer 3

Is it actually the sisters crib and stuff. Can she help to mediate the situation.

Also you really dont need a crib until a few months after the baby is born. Id say spend $40 for a sleeper for in your bed.

Although that shower thing is pretty shady of her, when you offer something like that, I think that she should have followed thru.

Answer 4

Same thing happened to my daughter best friend. and the way she fix it was writing a letter to her mother in law.
the best way possible is to let her know how you appreciate her friendship and how much you like to have her around for when the baby comes into this world/tell her you want the family together for the event and not apart. and if she still resisting so go to consignment stores they have great prices and all that stuff in good condition.(Good luck).

Answer 5

pretty much say it the way you just explained in oyur question, you nicely offered to allow us to use the baby items from his sister and we are now comming closer to the due date, i understand your not on good terms with us but if i'm going to have to buy these items that do cost a grate deal then i need to know so i can budget.

Answer 6

family's can be so much fun! sorry to hear you have to go through the drama...

If you are able, I would assume you need to buy them (not sure how bad the falling out is).

But, if you are on speaking terms with your MIL, I would ask her if you need to buy the things- and I would say the same thing you did in your question- that you don't want her to feel pressured.

Good luck.

Answer 7

Yes,being that it's the sisters stuff,call and ask her instead.

His mother should not be taking it out on you and your baby.

Answer 8

purely advance an Aunt or Uncle of yours and the place they stay, back in England or the place ever...when you have informed a element or 2 approximately them or another family members memeber, ask...the place is your loved ones from...bypass from there. that's no enormous deal fairly.