My cat had to be put asleep :(?

Question

My kitty, Lilja, had to be put asleep about a week ago because she had cancer. There was nothing more we could do. She was the sweetest cat.. :( We rescued her from a shelter a few years ago when she was a kitten. How do I feel better? I keep thinking of her - she was the best cat in the world.

Yesterday, me and my mother decided to rescue two more cats. They are both kittens, and would have been euthanized within the next week if we wouldn't have adopted them. I hope that is not a mean thing to do considering that Lilja had to be put asleep. I would never try to replace her. My mom said that if Lilja's spirit comes around, she may appreciate the fact that we saved these kitties just like we saved her. Do you think that's true?

I decided to set a picture of her as my desk top background and my mom told me to put little treats out every now and then so if Lilja's spirit does come around, she'll know that we love her. :(

My little brother is grieving as well. How can I help him?

Answer 1

Whether it is a pet or a person there is a time to grieve and then a time to move on. I've lost many pets and many loved ones, my Mom, Dad, my oldest brother, grandparents, friends etc. But the reality is that life goes on and we need to hold on to the good memories and treasure them but go ahead and make new memories with these new kittens and your current friends and family, time is always limited in every relationship so make the best of each situation and always remember the good times!!!

Answer 2

I am so sorry to hear this. It is so sad when someone has to have an animal put down---but, it is better than allowing her to suffer in pain until she died on her own---remember that. I KNOW how bad you feel, and only time, and the introduction of the new kittens will help you recover from your loss. Keep in mind that you gave Lilja a wonderful life that she wouldn't have had if you had not rescued her from the shelter. This also holds true for the 2 new kittens you have now---and how well I know--I did the same thing when I adopted my big boy. He was due to be euthanized the next day--I said "No way, this is too nice of a cat", and took him home,

One thing you could do to help your little brother over his grief, is to explain to him (in terms he can understand) that Lilja had cancer, and there was nothing more that the doctor could do to help her. That you loved her so much (and so did he), that you couldn't stand to see her go through a horribly painful existance until she finally died on her own. Basically, what you HAD to do was one of the most unselfless acts one can do to HELP your kitty--NOT hurt her. Then, if he is old enough, why not allow him to name one of the new kittens and care for her as much as possible--you didn't say how old he is. Once his attention is focused on a new kitten (they can be a handful), he will still remember Lilja fondly, but get used to the fact that there are MANY other kitties that need rescuing too.

Yes, I am sure that Lilja KNEW, without a doubt that you loved her very much, AND, if she happens to be "looking-in", I think she would be very proud of you for adopting these little kittens that were also doomed to be put down--she may also consider them to be her own babies.

Nothing, and no other cat will ever "replace" Lilja, she will always hold a special place in your heart--just like my "Ozzie" did (and still does) before he was stolen. Only time, and the presence of these 2 new kittens will help you cope with and accept the fact that you really DID do the right thing so that your baby wouldn't suffer. Bless you, and my condolences to your whole family in healing--but this takes time.

Answer 3

I am so sorry that you lost your kitty. Big hugggggggs to you. I think your mom is absolutely right about the kittens. I think Lilja would be very glad that you saved the life of those babies. Put lots of energy into the kittens and get your little brother involved too. Kittens love to play and can keep you very busy. I am sure Lilja knows that you love her very much. I think putting the treats out is a good idea. And I think it is WONDERFUL that you saved those kittens who would otherwise not have had a chance. I am sure Lilja is looking down and is happy that you have saved some more lives. We can never replace pets that we lose but we can help others and grow to love them. I have no doubt that these kittens will grow up happy and well cared for.

Answer 4

Sorry about the death of your kitty honey but it happens - i lost both my cats and never replaced them. I just didn't have the time anymore for kittens - I would love to have another one but my life has changed. I don't thing Lilja would mind at all to see the two new kittens. After all you saved them. Get your brother to take an interest in the new arrivals.- Kittens are the most endearing creatures - he'll feel better after a while - have you named them? - involve your brother in this and no matter what name he comes up with just bear it. It's normal to grieve - animals become part of the family.

Answer 5

I too had my cat, Gizmo, put down yesterday. It has barely been 12 hours. She had been getting more and more sick . She was 17 and suffered terribly from inflammatory bowel disease. Specialist could only give me false hope making it harder. I was very lucky to have a Vet who's heart I trust more than anything.
Gizmo was the second cat this year I have lost. I lost16 year old Moose 9 months ago.
It does not get easier but the sadness does somehow get a bit less painful everyday that passes.
Sharing your love with a new kitten will never replace your Lilja. It will allow you to give love to two small lives who may not ever have that chance to play and run and cuddle on your lap.
Your heart will always have a special spot for your Lilja and that will never be replaced. In heaven you will be reunited and the hope is she will have many friends to play with when you all reunite. Maybe she is playing with Moose and Gizmo now? Gizmo never was really friendly with other cats but Moose is a big suck up I am sure he is having a blast!

Answer 6

I want to say I'm sorry -- but I was wondering what you mean by 'spirit'.. Cat's don't have 'spirits'.. Animals dont, period -- as they aren't humans. I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm sure/I hope the time you had with Lilja was good.

Getting kitties was certainly not mean -- but I do think it might've been a little soon, because you 'just' put Lilja to sleep. However you probably didn't have a choice because they were to be euthanized within the week. I think the other kitties, will keep you busy, and your mind will most certainly be off Lilja for awhile anyway.

Your new kitties will most likely help your brother as well. However, he might --just maybe-- think you're replacing Lilja. For this reason, I would explain to him right away, the curcumstances, that forced you to adopt them so soon. If he still doesn't understand, there's not really much you can do but wait, until he eventually gets aquanted with your new kitties.

Picking out the new kitty's litter, food, box, toy, ect. will keep your mind of Lilja for awhile. And I would suggest not letting any of the new kitties, use Lilja's things, as I would tuck them away in a box, so you can keep your mind of her for awhile. Maybe put them in a treasure chest, and in the basement/closet or something. You won't be throwing them, but you won't be staring at them either.

The treats around the picture do seem like a good idea. However, not because I think Lilja's 'spirit' will come around, because I think this will help YOU to remember, that you love her.

There's five steps to losing a loved pet:

1 SADDNESS - This is the first stage you will go thru. It's hard to lose a pet, and this stage you might experience alot of crying/missing sleep thinking abotu Lilja. It's hard to say how long it will last, because it's different for different people -- perhaps anywhere from 1 hour to 1 week.

2 ANGER - Thru this stage, you'll probably be upset, and say alot of, "Why did this happen? She was so good." It will be hard, but you'll make it.


3 REALIZATION - In this stage, you will prolly realize how things like this just .. "Happen".. And you won't be mad anymore.


4 GRIEVING - In this stage, you will (probably) have realized that you aren't to be mad at anyone, and you wont be as sad as the first stage, but it will be difficult.


5 OVERCOMING - In this stage, you will (most likely) just be overcoming, and moving on from Lilja. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying you'll forget her, or that you won't take a few minutes sometimes, just to think about her -- but you will have moved on.


these stages are just 'generally' the stages. You can have others thrown in, ranging from all different kinds. Also, after you've already passed stage five, your brother might be at stage 2. Or vice versa. If this happens, you can kind of help eachother along =) Reminding eachother, "It doesn't last long." And sharing thoughts you had when you went thru the 'good' stages.


Best of wishes

Nikki

Answer 7

Sorry to hear about your cat. I had to put my dog to sleep a while back and it is very hard to deal with.

It is wonderful that you have decided to rescue two more kittens. This doesn't mean that you are trying to replace Lilja, it just shows that you are a very compassionate person that loves animals. Yes, I am sure that Lilja would be very happy to know that you have given a home to 2 other kittens and she would be proud.

I'm sure that you will never forget her. When my dog passed away, I put together a scrapbook about him. I put pictures in it, his dog tag, his collar, and I wrote some stories about him so that I would never forget him. I am also an adult and I loved him so much that I got a tattoo of him on my leg.

I am sure it is tough on your younger brother as well. Maybe the two of you can work together to create your own special scrapbook or some other kind of memory item for Lilja.

Answer 8

My heart goes out to you. I think it's wonderful that you and your mother decided to help 2 other little ones and give them a good home and lots of love. I recently lost a cat that I loved as much as any member of my family. I feel her presence a lot. I'm sure she knows how much I loved her as I'm sure your Lilja knows how you loved her.

Just keep reassuring your little brother that Lilja's spirit is still with you. Time will heal his grief and the two cats that you rescued will do alot to heal the pain.

Good luck and best wishes for a very long life with your new babies.

Answer 9

Your mother's advice is excellent. You saved two kitties from certain death and loves a cat who died surrounding by people who cared. You don't say how old your brother is, but death is a part of life. Tell him basically what your mom said to you . He may be too young to understand death. Many children learn about death from the loss of a pet. Allow him to grieve in his own way for a short time and ease him into his normal routine. Maybe you can make an ornament in Lilja's memory for the holidays.

Answer 10

I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I have had several animals die of old age. It's very sad. The best thing is to always talk about Lilja, talk about all the fun you had with her and all the things only she did. Have you and your brother play with the kittys you have. Thats what I think will help you both..

Answer 11

I'm sorry for your loss. It truly is heartbreaking when a beloved pet dies. I know it sounds like a cliche at the moment, but time really is the best healer of all. Gradually the pain in your hearts will fade. You and your brother should cry as much as you want to and share your memories of happier times with her by talking about her. Making her photo your desk top background is a lovely way of remembering her and you might both want to make a memorial for her at the Rainbow Bridge web site or create a photo album of her.

Thank you for adopting two more cats and giving them the chance to know what it is to be loved in a happy family home. I think Lilja would be proud of you for honouring her memory in this way.

The Legacy - Author Unknown

When humans die, they make a will
To leave their homes and all they have
to those they love.
I, too, would make a will if I could write.

To some poor wistful, lonely stray
I leave my happy home,
My dish, my cosy bed, my cushioned chair, my toy.
The well loved lap, the gentle stroking hand,
the loving voice,
The place I made in someone's heart,
The love that at the last could help me to
a peaceful painless end
Held in loving arms.

If I should die, Oh do not say,
"No more a pet I'll have,
to grieve me by it's loss"
Seek out some lonely, unloved cat
And give my place to him.
This is the legacy I leave behind -
'tis all I have to give.