I really want to tell a great friend of mine that I am starting to have different feelings for him. He’s been a friend for almost five years. We always talk at least once or twice a day and go out for dinner and/or drinks on the weekends. We spent the whole summer (weekends) on his boat which is pretty nice and very special because we have alone time with one another. He is very good to me and very respectful of my feelings which I really admire. Our relationship is such that we talk about each others likes/dislikes, personal and professional careers and at time the kind of relationships we look for.
He is much more outgoing and often tries to attract and/or see if he could connect with a girl that he admires from afar. He is sometimes successful that he would date the girl(s) a few times and have fun being around them. I catch myself feeling jealous or put out when I hear things like that or can’t figure out that it may seem obvious that I am attracted to him. I must admit our relationship is like buddies/pals where we talk about almost anything, no holds bar in the kinds of subject matters that we talk about.
We are both in our late 30's to early 40's so we are not young but obviously still have the same concerns that it may change the dynamics of our relationship if he does not feel the same way. I need advice as to how to either approach the subject or if I should just wait it out to see if it unfolds on it's own?
2007-09-13 02:50:17 · 10 answers · asked by LES 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I took the leap recently( almost 3 months ago) and have never been happier. It helped that we were friends first. First thing first you must you have to ask yourself if you're willing to risk your friendship and then you some how have to find out if he feels the same way. With my relationship I told Kris how I felt in February and gave him time to think it over. In the mean time I was busy with my life and vice versa. I think what took him so long was the fact he was afraid it would hinder our relationship as friends but it has worked out in the end. As I said I've never been happier. BTW I went him he didn't come to me. It was the thrill of the chase that made the experience that much better at least for me. Like should I cross this line or not? But as soon as I started to see him in a different light I knew I want this man I must get this man and well the rest is history. good luck BTW I'm 28 he's 31
2007-09-13 02:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by Noneofyabusiness 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to make sure that the feeling is mutual to save yourself from getting hurt or disappointed. You are both mature and definitely open to another that I see no reason for you not to share your "real" feelings to him. Although there are two expected results once you confront him: 1. He may share the same intensity of love (more than friendship) then good for you!!! Worth pursuing 2. What if he doesn't have the same kind of feeling? Will you risk losing the established friendship? It will be an awkward situation if the feeling is not mutual. Although I have some acquaintances who started as good friends and ended up as real couples BUT some don't always work out that well. For me, I'd rather wait and let time unfold the real feelings you have for one another. You've been blessed with such a unique friendship and don't want it to go to waste.
2007-09-20 19:19:01 · answer #2 · answered by addicted too 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this man is looking for women from afar in front of you then there's something you do or have that turns him off with regard to romance, and that's serious. Usually men are jumping all over the woman to get her privately, if he hasn't done that over five years then he's just not interested in you as a mate. This "interest" is what keeps a man in a committed relationship. So I would suggest you keep this friendship and look elsewhere for a mate, and once you find a mate then drop this friend. Frankly, I don't think there is such a thing as "waiting it out to see if it unfolds" the unfolding has already happened and it's not pretty.
2007-09-20 20:13:28 · answer #3 · answered by sophieb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite him over and cook dinner for him, if he is a good friend
you can be honest with him I married my best friend and we are extremely happy honesty is the best policy maybe you can find a nice card that you can give him also you never know he may feel the same way only one way to find out be honest its obvious he enjoys your company
2007-09-13 03:00:37 · answer #4 · answered by susandeangelis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest and open, don't try to be cool or suave, just go for it. Don't come on too strong, just tell her how you feel, and let her decide. If she isn't interested...take it like a man and keep being there for her, if she is...good for you and I wish you both the best.
2016-05-18 05:30:11 · answer #5 · answered by santina 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
from my point of view i'll say dont tell him
rather ask him what kind of a woman does he like and ask him to discribe her,im telling you if he feels the same he will describe you and he'd ask you the same question
2007-09-21 01:08:06 · answer #6 · answered by doctor 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just talk to him.... Maybe he likes you to but is having the same worries as you do
2007-09-13 02:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by Andrew 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him honestly.
2007-09-20 19:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by ethan 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just be honest with him, let him know how you feel
2007-09-20 23:42:22 · answer #9 · answered by cheri h 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well.......i think you should go for it theres nothing to lose......GUD LUCK
2007-09-20 22:46:15 · answer #10 · answered by saima u 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋