I think I have been spoiled in my past relationships - with thoughtful men.
My current boyfriend, who I have been seeing for 10 months, has never really done the whole romance thing, which I accept because that is just the way he is. However I started to get a bit fed up because I have been really helping him out the last few months - taking him to work at 5am, picking him up etc, without so much as a thank you really.
I came outright and said to him "I think you should buy me a present or something!" "Some flowers wouldn't go amiss, you hav never bought me flowers"
Last night he presented me with a bunch of flowers and said "whatever you ask me I will do". However I dont' really want to have to ask him to do nice things for me. What do you think?
2007-09-12 22:25:03 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You asked him to do this, he did and you've expressed displeasure with it because you want it to have been more spontaneous (if I'm understanding you correctly). Ironically, you want him to mimic the behavior of guys who are all (for whatever reasons) your exes. Why would he possibly want to follow that route? (It doesn't appear to have worked out well for them.)
2007-09-12 22:40:52 · answer #1 · answered by Captain S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he has never been taught how to be romantic. It sounds like he is taking his clues from you. He doesn't know what you would really like and doesn't want to offend you so he waits for you. On the plus side, he did go out and buy you those flowers and told you that he was willing to do whatever you asked. Since you take him to work maybe you could leave him a little note in his lunch box telling him that you really loved the flowers. In about a week give him another love note that he can read at work. This may start up his romance gene a little. Keep the notes going and you can drop occasional hints in them as to little gifts or dinners. You will have started something special with him and hopefully he will learn to be more romantic.
2007-09-13 05:37:18 · answer #2 · answered by firemouse23 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's never been in a really serious relationship before and isn't too clued-in on how to behave?? Maybe try watching a romantic film together and use the opportunity to say things like "it feels great for a woman to be appreciated like that" or "doen't it feel great when someone you love does nice things for no reason"........He just needs a little gentle guidance - he's obviously willing to learn so be his guide!!! Good luck.
2007-09-13 05:53:36 · answer #3 · answered by cautious 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he has never shown his feelings to anyone before so finds it difficult. sometimes men just don't think and anyway there is more to life than gifts and money. if you are really unhappy you should move on. he obviously loves you to say "whatever you ask me i will do". lots of women have to give their men a nudge in the right direction.
2007-09-13 05:41:27 · answer #4 · answered by blue_lagoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"whatever you ask me I will do"...that means love. Many guys are really that clueless!!! Don't expect him to read your mind. If you want chocolates, just say it (because that's just the way he is) and thank him for his "thoughtfulness". The book "Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" is a good read :)
2007-09-13 05:45:18 · answer #5 · answered by Tin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some guys just don't get the concept of being 'romantic'. Its the same concept as some people are really good at math but are horrible at art, and in contrast, some are really good at art, but are horrible at math.
2007-09-13 05:31:11 · answer #6 · answered by Joe T 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
so now he's being spoiled with a thoughtful woman and you have a problem with it. How often did you say thank you when your thoughtful man gave you something??
2007-09-13 05:34:38 · answer #7 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be honest with him about how you feel. Some guys just don't get it. Ask him to get advice from somewhere else about how to be romantic. Don't be harsh with him though
2007-09-13 05:38:10 · answer #8 · answered by Rose 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it has to do with personality match.
obviously both don't match and both of you need to meet in between somewhere or go each other way.
I reckon you first have a chat with him and state your expectations. Ask him to state his. Obviously if he said he do not expect anything from you or dunno (and I do not mean just gifts), then maybe both of you need to relook if both of you should continue onwards.
2007-09-13 05:34:29 · answer #9 · answered by sydneybeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him Schwinn!
2007-09-13 05:38:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋