if he knows you like princess cut and white gold, but proposes with round cut and yellow gold, do you say yes?

Question

Or if you said yes, do you go ahead with a marriage?

Updated with more details....

Of course I love him, that's not even a question. And for all you who think I'm a gold digger, you couldn't be farther from the truth. It's not like I want a BIGGER ring, I just want to wear what I like.. After all, I will be wearing this ring for the rest of my life.... Now, This may seem shallow, but it was made very clear to him what I like. As a matter of fact another gift he gave me was gold and I told him I loved it, but would have preferred white gold. (everything I own is white gold).. Which leads me to think that 1) he either don't care enough about what I LIKE, or 2) he doesn't listen to what I tell him, or 3) He's trying to change me into what he wants/likes. (the ring in this case). I've tried to talk to him about it but he came back and said I never like anything that he buys me. This ring is just a simple situation that may be a clue to future things that may come down the line in our relationship.

Answer 1

It sounds like you're really afraid that he doesn't care what you think (not a selfish b****). IF you care more about the ring because you only wanted the ring, no don't marry him.

BUT, are you really upset that he didn't get you what you told him you wanted? If so, then consider why. Did you really make it clear (men aren't very good at subtle hints)? Was it a ring of sentimental value (his mom's or grandma's)? Maybe there's a good reason for his choice.
Or did he just get what he liked? If that's the case then beware that he'll always do that (don't try to change a person, it won't happed). If he didn't pay attention to what you specifically told him, then take note. Most men spend forever looking at and choosing an engagement ring. Why would the love of your life not painstakingly ensure you're going to love the piece of jewelry you wear every day?

No a ring is not a reason to marry or not marry someone. But keep in mind, you may be having doubts that may or may not be serious. Do some "soul searching" and keep in mind that it's easier to face the embarrasment and heartache of a cancelled wedding than of a divorce. However, an engagement is a time that people start getting nerves and cold feet, and your mind could just be in overdrive with worries about your choice in marriage. Have a longer engagement (at least a year), call it off if you're not 100% sure, and realize this could just be nerves.

Hey, you're wearing this one thing every single day. Shouldn't you have something you love?

Answer 2

Oh dear...is that all it takes for you to call off the wedding that this dear guy got you a different cut stone and a different gold color? That is really shallow of you don't you think? If it is so important to you, what I would do is take him aside at dinner and tell him that you love him, want to marry him but you always dreamed of a princess cut stone set in white gold and could it be changed? What I want to know is why didn't you make it clear to him that if ever he wanted to propose with a ring, you wanted to pick out the ring together. If it were me put into this situation, I would accept the ring as a token of his promise of marriage and love and love him for being so thoughtful..and learn to love the ring you were given.

Answer 3

You have to realize that rings, especially the more elaborate the cut and type of metal [if we're not even talking about the type of stone] are very expensive, and maybe all he can afford right now is a small cut and lesser gold. If this ring is only going to be between you too, it should not matter what kind it is.

Sounds to me like you [or whoever] wants a certain type of ring to show off. One thing you have to really ask yourself: Are you getting married just to show off the rock to your friends, or are you getting married because you are truly in love with this person? If your answer is yes to the first one, then please spare your future husband and find someone else.

Marriage is between two people; not two people and their flock of friends. It should not matter what kind of a ring it is, but what kind of a feeling you get from it.

Answer 4

I know everyone is saying you don't want to hurt his feelings, but eventually, at some time in the future, it will come out that this ring was not to your liking. Then he will be even more disappointed because he thought you loved it and you have to go through the expense of redesigning. You want to show off your ring and if you don't like it, then no one is happy, you or him. I didn't like the ring my husband gave me and I waited 30 years to get the one I wanted. You're saving for the house, then kids, vacations, college. I never wanted to spend the money on me. So, I waited til the kids were done college, all paid for, and then went guilt free and got the one I wanted which I love. Don't wait 30 years. And don't wait until he proposes and ruin the moment. Be honest with him and tell him you saw the ring and that you absolutely love the fact that he took the time to shop and wanted to surprise you, but the ring really isn't your style and would he mind if you went shopping together. Then he can still pick a special time to propose but it will be with a ring that he knows you love and you will love to show off. You will soon be husband and wife, you should not be afraid to be honest about something as important as your engagment ring. Some are saying it is just a ring, no it is a symbol of your love and commitment to each other and YOU WANT TO LOVE IT!

Answer 5

uhoh, you made that very clear to him and he came up with this other ring. havent you answered his proposal yet? i would ask him where he got the ring from. really. did he dig it out of his mothers jewelry box? i would ask him in a really nice way, maybe say it doesnt fit right and can we go to the jewelers and have it sized, and then see what is up with the jeweler. so, if you are really having this hard of a time that you are thinking of not accepting his proposal over the ring, if it was me i would very directly say, what happened to white gold and princess cut.? and see !!! what he says. maybe he did not know it was that important to you. simply a case of a guy not understanding rings. get to the bottom of it. i am not going to yell at you for only wanting a certain ring, i know others do that here. i want you to just find out what happened. and, maybe even where he got the ring he gave you. it would bother me, personally. i would want to know.

Answer 6

Wow. You sound very materialistic. I have a friend who has been with her man for 4 yrs and he doesn't even have enough money to buy her a ring. She loves him and he says he loves her, he finally asked her after so long but with no ring but they are planning a wedding. Don't you think she wants a ring but she told me their love is strong and an engagement ring is materialistic. Don't be shallow.

Answer 7

I'm marrying HIM, not the RING. Of course I would say yes. Honestly, if someone said no just because of the ring then they don't love the person enough to marry them anyway, so maybe it's for the best.

Answer 8

You cannot be serious,

Consider the facts:
-At least he had enough sense to propose with a diamond ring
- Men are clueless when it comes to shopping
- If you are mature and love him, it really wouldn't matter what shape or color the ring is.

But quoting Samantha Jones, "wrong ring, wrong guy"., but in this is case is more like: "Good man, wrong woman".

Good luck

Good luck

Answer 9

If a person bases whether or not they would say yes to a marriage proposal solely on the cut and color of the ring, then maybe marriage is not for that person.

Answer 10

Is this a serious question? Of course you say yes. He proposed. Do you love him? I wouldn't care if my man proposed to me with a plastic ring out of a skill tester machine, I'd marry him because I love him, not because of the type of ring he bought me. I'd be questioning whether or not my man should marry me if I was only with him for superficial reasons. What makes a good man is his heart.