There's a girl I've been talking to a lot at work lately. For several weeks, we've been having lunch together nearly every day, and she and I spend hours every day just talking (when we really should be working :)). I know that I like her a huge amount, and I've told her several times (in passing) that I think she's beautiful and I'm really comfortable with her and enjoy the time we spend together. Despite the subtle compliments, I'm not sure if she realizes that I like her in a romantic way yet. She often talks about how unhappy she is with her husband and about her home situation. She had a pretty crappy wedding, and her husband isn't very romantic or attentive. She seems to talk about affairs a lot (but indirectly, e.g. as stories about friends etc.). She has mentioned that she thinks about having an affair or leaving her husband sometimes. She has no children, which would make me feel somewhat less guilty about things... Should I tell her that I like her?
2007-09-12 22:08:49 · 20 answers · asked by Retro Fluff 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Just to clarify a few things - I don't know for sure that she likes me romantically either (I'm hopeless, I know), we just spend a lot of time together (I suppose that means she likes me, but maybe it's just as a friend or a sounding board?...). I should also say that, rather tragically, she's the closest I've come to finding someone in my life that I really connect with. I've never felt the way I feel about here with anyone before. I think about her *constantly*. The whole "there's plenty more fish in the sea" argument doesn't really work for me, since I've found that to be evidently false in the course of my life, I'm sad to say... :/
2007-09-12 22:32:42 · update #1
No. I know it's hard, but if you have real feelings for her, you will help her be stronger, not weaker.
Marriage is hard, don't take advantage of her frustrations. She obviously wants to live in a fantasy. When the fantasy of her marriage faded, she started seeking a new one - and you're it, for now.
She needs to grow up and appreciate what she has, not just complain about what she is missing.
Let the marriage live or die on its own. Don't interfere.
2007-09-12 22:18:45 · answer #1 · answered by Mystic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Imagine after you married her and she is talking to another guy about you!
Marriage takes two to work. If she spends more time calling and chatting with her husband and do something romantic for her husband, maybe he will be excited and do the same for her.
I can't imagine how romantic or attentive a husband can be with a grumpy wife.
Imagine you are her husband! You must be looking at the wrong things when she is complaining her hubby!
Watch out! Don't fall for the trap! She is supposed to solve her own problem, not you.
For you, you need a real partner who cares, love and make love to you. Obviously, you already know the answer, :)
2007-09-12 22:22:42 · answer #2 · answered by sydneybeach 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with rc. consider the innocent one here...her husband. If she is really unhappy in her relationship then i would be advising her to get some marriage counselling. Marriage takes work, i believe in using any resources and doing all that you can before walking away. If you really like this girl then look out for whats best for her and be a friend. BUT don't get involved until she is 100% availiable and right now ....face it she is NOT.
2007-09-12 22:28:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i do not think it's a good idea to have an affair. where would be the future for you in that. if you want a permanent relationship then it's best to tell her you like her but she would have to be a free person e.g as in seperated or divorced. the latter one would take much longer. if you both are looking for fun then go for it, but when real feelings come into it, someone will get hurt(probably you.) she probably already knows you like her and she obviously likes you, but you need to think about what you want from this. hope that helps.
2007-09-12 22:21:29 · answer #4 · answered by blue_lagoon 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to justify it, she had a crap wedding, huh it's about love not the ceremony, attenitive or romantic stupid little stuff. If you are feeling guilty now about things you will feel 1000 times worse if you go through with it, and also leave for a very unconfortable situation at work. Don't piss of god, he control's carma :) Be a man and step away.
2007-09-12 22:27:48 · answer #5 · answered by shadycaliber 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My advice to you, do not DO IT. that would be the dumbest flow you ought to ever make. you in common terms comprehend her via the internet , you do not comprehend for particular that she is telling the completed actuality. She continues to be married, in spite of no remember if or not they're intimate. discover yet another lady. somebody this is married and is messing around with different adult men or women everybody isn't precisely human beings of solid high quality and values. circumstances like this are often cases finished of heartbreak and empty supplies. bear in suggestions this what is going around comes around i could drop her like a warm potato and tell her the reality as to why. seem for somebody else. i think of which you deserve greater useful.
2016-12-16 18:55:26 · answer #6 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, I think so but be clear about what u are doing. Think about would u want someone to do that to you if you were the husband
2007-09-12 22:13:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa! i think you should tell her that you like her but dont go for the affair. then its her decision to divorce or not. Dont force her to divorce if she likes you also rather tell her that you'll be waiting for her cos in future she will blame you if your relationship doomed.
2007-09-12 22:21:45 · answer #8 · answered by fine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell me the old old story, heard it all before, so easy to convince one self that there are grounds to cheat on, if they are married, stay clear, it could be you.
2007-09-12 22:18:41 · answer #9 · answered by joe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does her hubby have a gun? Best check that out cause he might get very mad if he finds out. He just might shoot the boys off.
2007-09-12 22:15:07 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋