and i,ve been single for most of that time but recently had a sexual relationship with his friend who treated me like ****,it caused a bit of a rift between me and my friend but as always he has stood by me,thing is i do love him but can't imagine having sex with him,sometimes i think shall i just do it and see how i feel and/or risk our frienship even more,i think it's because he's a kind man that im not 'clicking' with him i stay single because i tend to go for men that treat me bad.i was in care as a childmum didnt want me/like me and i didnt see my dad for 17 years and he doesnt bother with me i think thats got something to do with it.he hasnt met anyone either in last 6 years but is round my house 3-4 evenings to watch telly eat drink t etc,what is going on? i live a mad live!what do i do?
2007-09-12 21:34:16 · 7 answers · asked by talks good s hit 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well sounds like you know the answer. You aren't comfortable with men that are available to you. Having sex with him will freak you out at first, because you don't know how to be with someone who doesn't keep you on the edge, but is that how you want to stay forever?
If you go for it, be honest with him, and be prepared for some anxiety as you leave your comfort zone, but hopefully your body and mind will eventually take over and you will find a nice man can bring you both physical and emotional pleasure.
2007-09-12 21:52:21 · answer #1 · answered by Mystic 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Eh, you know perfectly well what you are doing. He's your spare tire, your doormat. You are keeping him around for the emotional comfort he gives you without any of the woes of actually being in a relationship, including dare I say "putting out". Tastes great, less filling. Have cake, eat it too.
The only problem is, if you think he will stick forever in such an unfavorable arrangement, you've got another thought coming! He is beyond a shadow of a doubt, waiting for you to come around, and the rift from your last escapade can only mean his patience is growing thin.
So anyway:
If you feel there is enough attraction between you, which should be the case given that you "love" him, and feel like a change of pace go for it!
If he simply doesn't "do it" for you because he is too damn nice, tell him RIGHT AWAY, so he can find someone more deserving of him, and you can keep getting your "bad boy" fix.
However, keeping him around in limbo for your own selfish purposes is NOT what friends do to each other. In fact, f*** "friendship"! Your "friendship" with him is a baloney arrangement, a steel collar around his neck tied to a chain whose other end is in your hand.
2007-09-13 05:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's very hard to know what advice to give; he may well be keeping himself on ice for you, waiting for you to fall for him, or he may be satisfied with a non-sexual relationship. But you presumably do want a sexual relationship - just not with him. Sometimes these friendships are ok until one party or the other demonstrates that they have a sex-life, then it all falls apart. I would try and avoid giving him any indication that you ever will sleep with him - men in love can read a lot into the slightest of things. Also try and keep your sex life separate from him - if you're sleeping with someone else don't rub it in his face. Eventually you may find that he simply gets bored with waiting and either makes a move on you or starts looking elsewhere. Either way, I'm sorry but I don't see you being able to keep this sort of friendship going forever. If he's in love with you, it's not pure friendship on his part, and although I believe that you do love him and his company, he's making you feel loved and valued and attractive without any emotional commitment from you, maybe it's not purely friendship on your part either.
2007-09-13 05:05:00 · answer #3 · answered by keys780 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't mess with his head, if he's such a good friend, then he deserves better than that, if you don't like (or love him )sexually, them just remain as his friend, don't sleep with him just for the hell of it as it may end up as a disaster and you will most likely lose a really good friend as a result.
2007-09-13 05:14:54 · answer #4 · answered by Rainbowz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There's no mileage in a sexual relationship with this man. He's a good friend but you don't fancy him. It'll only end in tears and regret.
2007-09-13 04:41:03 · answer #5 · answered by Stella S 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Go to bed with him, but tell him it's a trial run to see if your feelings change. If they don't, then tell him so. If they do... Bingo!
2007-09-13 04:38:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
just do it and find out dont leve him hang in on find out if its yes or no dont be a teaseing *****
2007-09-13 04:41:04 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋