My boyfriend is a very sweet guy, this is what attracted me to him, but on occassion i notice that he lets his daughter get away with murder. I dont know if this is out of guilt or what by i know that him allowing his daughter to manipulate him and our realtionship is driving me nuts. The girl is only eight, but very smart. Our relationship has drifted somewhat because of her and i have asked him why he allows this and sarcastically he aswered, "because i am spineless and a whimp", i just nodded my head in disbelief. What makes this situation so bad is that he is caring, loving, and wants to make sure that u are happy, but deep down something is not right. His daughters mother left her with him to raise and he has sole custody. I know his daughter does not want me around. My boyfriend knows how i feel about her and i know that he feels torn and does not want me to leave, but what do i do?
2007-09-12 20:44:28 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, an 8 year old child does need to be treated gently and you shouldn't be so harsh about it. You should lighten up and let him spoil her a little if he wants to.
2007-09-12 20:52:51 · answer #1 · answered by the Boss 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it's been shown who he values more. If he dosen't grow a backbone this girl will totally dominate his and your life if you decide to stay with him. Unfortunately he was left with full parenting resposibility not out of choice and does not possess the neccesary skills. Perhaps you can have a chat with him and explain that by not telling her off when shes naughty/rude or whatever she will only grow up self centred and manipulative. Ask him if you can help discipline her but that he needs to back you up and not wimp out. If he can't or won't do it then this will just store up resentment in you and the nice sweet guy will turn into the stupid spineless idiot that you will lose all respect for. Your relationship will break down anyway. If you can get in on the disipline thing and he will be firm and back you up then this little girl will come to realise that you are a permanent fixture and she has to share Daddy's love. It won't be easy at first though. Expect tantrums from her but stay strong and don't give in. Either of you. If he can't do it then the best thing to do is leave.
2007-09-12 21:03:45 · answer #2 · answered by Michele 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it fairly relies upon on the activity. if he works at a warehouse and lifts packing packing containers all day he isn't a whimp, yet while he's an accountant and he says his arms harm or something like that than he's a whimp.
2016-10-20 00:31:00 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dumped a " Spineless Wimp " once.
Yours knows what the problem
is, and he's not fixing it.
He may feel weakness because her
Mother left, and he pleases her to keep
her happy with him as a Father.
She will get worst as she gets older.
Talk to him. If he doesn't get stronger
with going against her wishes,
I would leave.
2007-09-12 21:11:12 · answer #4 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to try and bond with his daughter, just find something that you had in common with her when you were her age and exploit it. Then when you have a good enough bond then she will start to treat you nicely and then everything will go fine, and you can convince her how much you love her father....
2007-09-12 20:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by q&a99 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋