An ex- friend of mine went and said some really horrible things about me behind my back when we were friends. Then tries to say she's sorry and I refused to forgive her. Then she start calling me a fat *** (although she's three times as big). I've told her that straight to her face so it's not gossip. Anyways she has been a total errr. I'm not even going to say it. this was a year ago and I'm the one every body thinks should apologize. What do you think? Give your opinion and explain it please.
2007-09-12 20:02:03 · 7 answers · asked by casey p 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I had to read your question twice. But, let me see if I can
explain something to you. It is only your reaction to any-
thing negative that causes a problem; not the thing (or in
this case, the person.)
So, because you have the choice to take offense to what
someone says about you, or just shrug it off, the choice is
also yours to even associate with this "friend" of yours,
or tell yourself something like: "Hey, it's only their ego
talking!" And many people with do that. Many people
have a need to feed their ego in order to feel a sense
of security. (It is a completely false sense of security--
because they're lying to themselves and they're taking
out their fear/anger on someone else.)
Should you apologize to her? No--not if you have more
relevant things to think about; because all that really
matters is the here & now; not what anyone said to you
or anything that happened last month, four months ago,
or even four years ago.
I hope that helps, Casey.
Peace.
2007-09-12 21:06:08 · answer #1 · answered by Pete K 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know sometimes it's hard to let go of old friends but how good of a friend is she really. I would say just ignore her and continue on your way. If she knows that her insults don't bother you she will probably first get angrier but then eventually just start to separate. With friends like that who needs enemies.Laugh at those silly comments, that's going to eat at her more than anything. As far as an apology goes I say let bygones be bygones. If you can just forgive her in your heart then that's enough, move on and forget about it. This will make you the bigger better person. The ruder her comments the louder and more you laugh. There only words I promise they can't hurt you. As for everyone else who thinks you need to apologize tell them you'll deal with it how you see fit and they should mind there own business. GOOD LUCK!!
2007-09-13 02:23:46 · answer #2 · answered by Allan C 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe I should make amends for anything I have done wrong. I need to ignore what they have done, or how they accept, or don't, what I make amends for. Holding onto anger, or resentment, only hurts me, not them. It frees me when I am truly sorry for my end of things, regardless of what they have done. What they do is not my problem, my responsibility lies on what I do, and that is all.
Peace
2007-09-20 03:49:46 · answer #3 · answered by Linda B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The world is going to hell fast, and hate is growing too, so you make the difference and be an example what they should do and know.
2007-09-20 18:24:06 · answer #4 · answered by K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This idea of Jesus' is one of his most original and least practiced ideas.
The only figure that I know that seems to practice that thought is Bill Clinton.
But I am suspisious.
2007-09-18 09:57:47 · answer #5 · answered by smkeller 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Casey, Casey
(dble-mindead pun intended)
Grace(not law) unto you, and peace(not division),
from God our Father and the Lord Jesus-->Christ.
Can we move on, from fail-u-are to never fail;
from the law law loves(Mt 22:36-40) often fail,
to grace us "charity never faileth"(1Cor 13:8).
Love or Charity? Charity NEVER FAILETH!!
Have you not noticed, not yet, that
charity is above forgiving one another,
because "charity thinketh no evil(law)".
The GRACE of our Lord Jesus Christ with you all. Amen.
2007-09-13 03:41:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
She should apolgise not you. there is her side of the story though I am on your side. She does not deserve you as a friend if she cant apolgise to you.
2007-09-12 22:07:16 · answer #7 · answered by becomeblackbelt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋