How do you break up with someone?

Question

I know, it sounds like a really ridiculous question and I'm sure my case isn't any different from the rest, but I still don't know how I should go about this.....

I've only been dating my boyfriend a few months but I've noticed that I don't really like him anymore and have started to like other guys. The problem is that he's really way more into the relationship than I am, is too clingy at times and is very open with how much he adores me. Also, we share all the same mutual friends so breaking up is could cause a lot of tension.

Finally, I really don't want to hurt him. I know at this point its unavoidable but I want him to realize that he didn't actually do anything wrong- he was an amazing boyfriend- and that I'm so, so, so sorry it turned out the way it did.

So.... what do I do?

Answer 1

Tell him. You wanted to date him for the same reason you wanted to be friends. You just don't feel romantic about him, so could you go back to being friends. He'll be way hurt, but not as much as if you wait.

Answer 2

Do it at his house on a Friday night. That way you can leave when you're ready and he doesn't have to go anywhere. By doing it Friday night you leave him the whole weekend to get himself together before he goes back to work.

When you talk to him, just let him know that you don't feel the attraction to him anymore and you feel like it's time you move on. Be firm and don't let him convince you can work things out. If he starts to get angry, just walk away.

Regardless of how you do it, just make sure you do it sooner rather than later. It's probably better to do it while you care enough to not want to hurt him than to wait until you resent him so much that you can't wait to get away from him.

The common friends thing is sticky, but probably unavoidable. But as long as it isn't a big messy break-up then your friend should still be able to remain friends with both of you and feel ok about it. Just try to keep your friends out of it and not ask them to choose sides. I would also recommend you don't talk to any of the common friends beforehand just in case someone lets something slip - same would go for the girlfriends of any of his close friends.

Good luck to you.

Answer 3

You can't tell your boyfriend he didn't do anything wrong, because if he didn't do anything wrong...why break up? he'll go crazy trying to figure that out.

Best thing to do is just tell him (in a public place. I dont know the guy. lol) Tell him and thats it. If you guys have the same friends you'll find out who is actually your friend and who isn't. oh well thats life. move on. there are more people in your city other than mutual friends.

It is better to tell him straight up instead of beating around someones feelings trying not to hurt the guy or girl.
Just remember...its human nature to realize what you had after its gone. so don't make a mistake. if you do want to leave him make sure its a 100% and if its a 100% then you should be blunt and tell him. Tell him why also.

And when you finally break up with him.......what are you doing this saturday? LMAO j/k

Good luck.

Answer 4

This is usual, and should be done soon before it goes too long. You should someday talk about what was wrong and how it wasn't his fault and basicially make him understand why you want to do this. Of couse he won't like it, but if he understands your point, he will know that he didn't do anything wrong and be happier in the end. Make sure he understands and you completely know what both of you are talking about. (It is horrible when someone just dumps someone else not telling them anything. The person dumped would think the he/she is doing something wrong and feel down for a long time.) In best words, the main thing you have to be sure of doing, is the wrong things. There are no real right things to say but only bad ones.

Answer 5

Tell him the chemistry didn't survive. Believe me if it were the other way around he'd let you know. Just tell him that you had hoped things would work out but after feeling your way along in the relationship you have determined that it isn't going to work out. That the chemistry just isn't there anymore and it would be best if you were both free to see other people. Thanks for the memories now see ya around Jack.

Answer 6

Just tell him that you now realize that you are not ready for a relationship. Tell him that he is a great guy, but you feel that you would like to have your freedom, and wanted him to be the first to know how you feel.

Answer 7

I think it's easiest to be honest. You are both probably young. Tell him you want to date other guys and that you will always think a lot of him, but it's time for you to be on your own and explore other options. Sometimes we can't help but hurt someone's feelings. I think he's trying to force you to stay by making you feel guilty. Don't buy into it, sweetie. Live your life for yourself.

Answer 8

You have to tell him the truth then. At least you will free him to look for another person instead of stringing him along while playing with both your hearts. Sure it will hurt him but at least you were honest about it.

Answer 9

Yikes! The only thing I can tell you is to be honest and just tell him how you really feel. I mean life isn't fair, in this case, he is the one who will lose, but hey-life is not fair. Ju st deal.

Answer 10

be honest and say I don't want to see you anymore. He needs to be an adult about it and accept it. You can't really play around with others emotions thus being upfront is the best thing to do.